Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dead Rubber



It would end much of the fluff filling celebrity newspapers and gossip websites, but if men took charge of their potency, their lives would be more in their control.

The only guaranteed male contraceptive is the vasectomy. In case you forgot your basic male reproductive anatomy, this procedure cuts and seals the vas deferentia, the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles into the seminal stream.

Sidebar: There appears to be, in my discussions with women about this, misunderstanding of how jism is made. Semen is the overarching term for the complete ejaculate. Semen Cocktail is formed during the process of ejaculation, when sperm passes through the vas and mixes with other fluids from the prostate and elsewhere. In short, the actual reproductive material, the love-taddies or sperm, comprise only around 10% of the ejaculate. That's what is stopped by the vasectomy. The rest is a mix of fructose, enzymes, citric acid and lipids designed to protect and lubricate the sperm on the way to the eggs.

End sidebar.

Interestingly, the vagina is chemically hostile to sperm. The mix of fluids comprising male orgasmic fireworks is mostly a tank battalion designed to storm the castle of the lady's gooey defences. The only difference between the vasectomized and the unvasectomized man is the potential pregnancy. Everything else is exactly the same, including, I am reliably informed, the taste.

So. Once a man has an heir, a spare, and perhaps one or two more for luck, he'd be smart to take charge of his shit, and get the big V. I've heard that, later in life, women find a potent but infertile man irresistible.





Bottoms Up, Ejaculators!

A Labor Day Meal: Salmon with a Citrus Glaze Tangos with Mango Salsa

On holidays like Labor Day, the best dishes to serve friends and family are the ones that take very little effort to prepare.  That way you can spend your time enjoying the day not laboring in a hot kitchen.

Versatile salmon can be grilled, sauteed, baked, and braised. More often than not the preferred approach is to simply grill the fish--whole or filleted--with olive oil, sea salt, and pepper, the Italian way. But there are times when a little more seasoning accents salmon's natural flavors.

Spanish style preparations saute the fish with fresh tomatoes, pitted olives, peppers, onions, and parsley. American barbecue relies on sweet-heat. Another approach, one borrowing from South American and Caribbean recipes, marries citrus with honey and garlic in a simple sauce.

Serve the roasted fish with a side of reserved pan drippings and a mango-grilled corn salsa and you'll have the perfect summer meal to be enjoyed with a glass of chardonnay or an ice cold beer.

Mango Salsa

Make the salsa ahead and keep refrigerated in a sealed container

Serves 4

Time 15 minutes

Ingredients

1 ear corn, husks and silks removed, washed
1 large mango, washed, skin removed, meat cut into small pieces, pit discarded
1/4 cup red onion, finely chopped
1 tablespoon Italian parsley, washed, leaves only, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, skin on, charred in an open flame
1 tablespoon olive or safflower oil
1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
Sea salt and pepper to taste

Method

Grill or oven roast the corn in a 400 F oven for 15 minutes or until lightly browned. Let cool and remove the kernels. Discard the cob. Clean off the charred skin from the garlic, finely chop, add to a bowl with the corn kernels, mango, onion, parsley, olive oil, and lemon juice. Toss well. Taste and season with sea salt and pepper.

Roast Salmon with a Citrus Glaze

Buy a fillet that has skin but not bones for easy serving.  The fresher, the better.

Serves 4

Time 45-60 minutes

Ingredients

1 1/2 pounds salmon fillet with skin on, washed, pat dried
1/4 cup fresh squeezed orange juice
1 tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 tablespoon fresh squeezed lime juice
2 tablespoons honey
1 garlic clove, skin removed, thinly sliced
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/4 teaspoon pepper flakes or cayenne
1 tablespoon Italian parsley, washed, leaves only, finely chopped


Method

Preheat the oven to 350 F. Cutting across the fillet, score deeply into the flesh about half way. Place the salmon on a Silpat or other non-stick material like parchment paper placed on a rimmed baking sheet.

Mix together the juices, honey, garlic, olive oil, cayenne, and parsley until the honey is well dissolved. Pour over the fillet.  Roast in the oven 30 minutes.  Remove and clean away and discard any pink solids.

Raise the temperature of the oven to 500 F. Baste the fillet with the pan drippings. Return the salmon to the oven and cook another 10 minutes. Remove from the oven, baste, bake another 5 minutes being careful to brown but not burn the skin.

Transfer the salmon to a serving plate. Use a rubber spatula to collect all the pan drippings and place in a small bowl.

Serve the salmon with the pan drippings, mango salsa, and a green salad or freshly steamed rice.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Horse Harrar




Women come in two types - the horsewoman, and the non-horsewoman.

Understandable, really, that some ladies find the equine superior to the sapien. Apart from the age-old attraction of 1,000 pounds of muscular flesh cantering between your spread thighs, there are more subtle appeals. A battle for a woman's heart fought between a man and a stallion would be closer than you expect. Don't underestimate the power of the quadruped, viz:

-> A horse, went not in use, is happy standing around eating grass. Easy maintenance.
-> A man, when not in use, is likely to find activities of which a g/f won't approve. Higher maintenance.

-> The horse can carry the woman many miles without complaint.
-> The man can carry the woman over the threshold (if he does even that.)

-> Horses like to be ridden hard and put away wet.
-> Men like to ride their g/f hard and make her wet. (This should work in the man's favour.)

-> Horses don't have opinions, nor do they answer back snappishly.
-> Men have opinions and will tell you what they are, snappishly or otherwise.

-> Horses want to be told what to do.
-> Men want to tell you what to do.

-> Horses have huge, thick, long dicks.
-> Men read books.

-> Horses don't mind having a woman on their back, then being asked to perform tricks.
-> When men have women metaphorically on their backs, we don't like it at all.

A cool examination of my list tells me that men win this race, but only by a short half-head.



Bottoms Up, Equestriennes!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Coffee Dates by Type: Wombatgram # 9




Coffee dates can be good, bad, indifferent or mind-blowing.

Click on the Wombatgram for better viewing.




Bottoms Up Caffeinators!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Teaser




Race recap to come, but I wanted to give a huge shout-out to this girl, who rocked her first triathlon!!  Hopefully she'll want to do another one with me sometime ;)


Enjoy the weekend and don't forget about my giveaway!!

Friday, August 27, 2010

2 Years & CSN

Oops, I did it again ;)  It's been two years since I started Tri to Cook-- I can hardly believe it!!  It's a little scary to go back and look at some of those old posts and photographs (don't do it ;)), but it is nice to see that I've been able to improve a bit since then.


I have the perfect way to celebrate too, courtesy of CSN.  You remember CSN, right?   The gifter of an ice cream maker and bamboo cutting board.  Every order I've placed has come faster than expected and without any issues, so I've been pleased to say the least.   Well, this may be the best deal yet... this time I've got a $90 gift card for one of my readers!!

The Alessi Colombina collection

To enter the giveaway: check out the dinnerware sets at CSN and let me know which one is your favorite!  (yes, I check, so go look at their site!!)  Contest will end Sept 1, 8pm.  Don't be fooled, it's next week...  eek!


And I know I still haven't told you where I went to see such amazing wildlife, but a few of you guessed it--Alaska!   While I upload some of them for a recap post, I'll share another one of my favorites :)

Johns Hopkins Glacier

Friday Fluffer - Ink Your Pink


Jezebel
, always a source of solid guidance for the modern woman, explored the world of pubic decoration recently.

They call it 'Vatooing' (as in Vaginal Tatooing) but as the article points out it's really upper pubic area decoration. UPAD isn't quite as catchy. A spirited argument exists as to whether whether the correct term is 'Vatoo' or 'Twatoo', as per here. [link] I have no skin in this game. So to speak.

Here's the original article. [link]<-----click to see. (Beware Jezebel's horribly slow servers.)



Bottoms Up, Cuntstunters!


Hat tip to the ever-on-the-leading-edge Snaf [link]

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Love, Sex and Deception



I review books in a particular way. Firstly, I avoid introductions and prefaces; if the book's any good I figure I should be able to begin at chapter one and proceed to the end without explanatory notes. Any half-decent book will stand on the text alone.

Explanatory notes are for after digesting the complete book meal, if you'll forgive the unbalanced metaphor. I like to think of them as a nice fig or a spoonful of tiramisu, a sweet syntactical end-point.

Secondly, I refrain from reading any kind of cover blurb. Actual negative comments are as rare as dodos, and for the same reason - reviewers who disparage a book or its author are dead as far as book publishers and PR people are concerned.

All of which is a somewhat ironic introduction to my review of a book called Love, Sex and Deception: The Chronicles of Online Dating. The photograph, above, is of the co-authors, a mother-and-daughter duo who created this opus, Lisa Hultin and Claire Hultin.

The trouble, in my opinion, begins with the sub-title: The Chronicles of Online Dating. I've been around dating blogs and books for five years now, so to imply that this book has any kind of rank in the world of writing about online dating is risible. Talented, smart, creative people are out there every day blogging about the dating game. Anyone can relate a story - the brilliance lies in interpretation and dissection. Fortunately, we're living in an age of surfeit in this area.

I should explain that the book is a series of chapters containing a series of tales from alleged online daters. The chapters group similar experiences (Disaster Dates From Hell, Navigating Through A Jungle) punctuated with advice from the authors;

"Unfortunately, the Internet is a mysterious medium popular with predators looking for opportunity. Even a mafia gofer will eventually find a willing participant. I once had a lady admit she made a vast majority of her sales by networking online dates. If you run into a con, report and abuse or block them from contact."

Wise. Good. But for whom is this advice intended? Surely anyone who has ever been on a regular date understands not all people are truthful with their intentions? Why would online dating be different?

Which highlights my overall ill-will towards this book - it feels more like a kids' edition than anything an adult could use. There's no insight, no intelligent deconstruction, nothing to make you go Ah-Ha! More than that, a depressing quality surrounds all the dating tales. Either the person dating is a dope, or the people they meet are mopes, or they're both both. Uplifting thoughts are rare.

My own personal view of online dating is clear - I am opposed. But the fact is that every day people find their significant other, and hundreds of them marry. Obviously, I am wrong. For some folks the electronic dating scene is the best thing that ever happened, which makes me happy to be wrong.

Obviously, I'm not recommending this book unless you have a ten-year-old you are trying to keep away from dating. For that purpose, it's a great buy. Otherwise, spend time to find good blogs about real-life online dating and read them. You'll be infinitely more entertained.

In keeping with my policy, here's the first paragraph of the introduction, quoted verbatim:

"We are a mother and daughter that (sic) have dated online, compared notes, collected hundreds of hilarious dating stories from around the country, and decided to write a trendy little lit (sic) concerning research, short stories, tips and tricks that are related to personal internet dating experiences. Part of the impetus for doing the book-and the rational (sic) for the title: Love, Sex, and Deception: The Chronicles of Online Dating is that throughout dating, everyone has either expressed finding true love, to great sex, or has at least been deceived once or twice."

If I'd read this first, I wouldn't have wasted all that time actually reading the infernal thing.

Grade: F

Reproduced here [link]




Bottoms Up, You Quality Bloggers, You!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Summer Squash Soup

I almost forgot about this soup until my cousin's wife was telling me about her summer squash bounty.  With the rainy days we have in store here in Boston, it seems like the perfect time to whip up another batch!

This soup took me completely by surprise!  The ingredients sounded so simple but the flavors married to create something much more complex.  And the cumin browned butter.  Wow.  Absolutely delicious.  I'm sure you'll find many uses if there's any left over ;)



Summer Squash Soup
adapted from 101 cookbooks
Serves 2-3 (small bowls)

This could certainly be scaled up to accommodate any bounty of summer squash you may have ;)

1/2t cumin seeds
2T butter
fine grain sea salt
~1T butter, olive oil, or combination
1 small onion, chopped
2-3 roasted garlic cloves (I had these on hand, could certainly use 1 clove of raw garlic, minced)
1/2lb small yukon gold potatoes, cut so uniform size
3/4lb summer squash, cut in half then sliced (ending up with halfmoons)
1 1/2c  stock(veggie or chicken)/water, or more if necessary
1/2c buttermilk

Heat a small skillet over medium heat.  Add cumin seeds and toast until they are fragrant.  Set aside, then grind (spice/coffee grinder, mortar and pestle...).  In the skillet used to toast the cumin, melt butter and cook until browned and smells amazing.  Remove from heat and stir in the cumin along with a pinch of salt.  Set aside in a warm place so it remains liquid for serving.

For the soup, heat butter/oil in a heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat.  Add onion and a dash of salt.  Saute until onions get translucent.  Stir in potatoes and squash (and garlic, if raw) and cook until the squash starts to soften up, ~10min.  Add in enough stock to just cover the squash and potatoes and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat and simmer until the potatoes are tender, ~20-30min.  Remove from the heat and puree (blender, hand blender, food processor...  just be careful when hot!).  Stir in the buttermilk, taste and add more salt if necessary.  Adjust consistency with more stock if desired.  Serve topped with cumin butter.


Any more good ideas for summer squash??  I'm thinking it could totally go into some sort of cake like zucchini...

Amsterdam's Upscale Restaurants



You can tell by the number of articles I've written about Amsterdam, how much I enjoyed my trip. Here is another in a four-part series I wrote for Peter Greenberg.

Amsterdam's Upscale Restaurants
Supperclub appetizer - Amsterdam cuisineLast week, globe-trotting investigative gastronome David Latt investigated the local finds in Amsterdam’s surprisingly robust cafe scene.

But can serious food-lovers find high-end and innovative restaurants to satisfy their cravings? Read on to find out what he discovered in the Dutch capital.


Balthazar's Kitchen, a local favorite, is a small restaurant with a big reputation. On the few nights I was in Amsterdam I could never secure a reservation.

The same was true of the French restaurant, Braque, where a friend and I were turned away two nights in a row.

I had better luck at the Supperclub. The well-polished brass doorway downstairs hints at the grand setting upstairs.

Beds at Supperclub AmsterdamBegun two decades ago, the Supperclub has branches in London, Singapore, San Francisco, and Istanbul, with plans to open in Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

Art is served along with a prix fix meal as patrons share a comfortable cushion provocatively referred to as a bed. A different performance is offered every night of the week. Themes are varied, but usually touch on issues of personal liberation, emotional and literal enslavement, and sexual expression.

On the day I attended, Andre d. Singleton, a New Yorker, presented an evening that consisted of short videos and musical performances, with the aim of "complicating gender."

While the creative intentions were to stimulate and provoke, the prix fix menu was designed to put the diner at ease with comfort food: a mozzarella and scallops appetizer, a tenderloin with mushroom sauce, and a dessert of homemade ice creams.

Restaurant at the Sofitel Amsterdam GrantFor an elegant meal in a quiet setting, try the upscale Bridges Bar in the remodeled Sofitel Amsterdam The Grand where you will rub elbows with Amsterdam's elite. The contemporary French-Asian menu focuses on seafood in an exclusive setting.

For our main course during a late afternoon lunch, we had a delicate miso-marinated, grilled cod paired with a very nice Chardonnay from Chile (Veramonte 1997 Reserve, Casablanca Valley).

The locavore movement, so widespread in the U.S., has had a slow acceptance in the Netherlands. In Amsterdam, the leader in the field of organic, locally sourced ingredients is Restaurant De Kas, where I experienced the best of the best in my food tour of the city.

Opened in 2000 in a renovated municipal greenhouse on the southern end of Park Frankendael, south-east from the city center, the restaurant has the homey feel of a neighborhood hangout, albeit one in an all-glass house.
Learn more with: Dutch Food & the Amsterdam Restaurant Scene

Restaurant de KasServing a set menu of three starters, one entree, and a dessert, the only changes a diner can make is to add an aperitif, paired wines, and a cheese course. When seated, the diner is asked one question, "Tell me what you don't like or can't eat." Otherwise, the chef is in charge. Except that he isn't.

The produce and herbs served at the restaurant come from the greenhouse next to the restaurant and from their farm in Ilpendam, 10 miles north of Amsterdam. As Xavier Giesen, the assistant maitre d', explains, "We are a restaurant but also growers. The chef tells the gardener what he wants, but the gardener tells the chef what's available."

The menu changes weekly and seasonally.

When I visited the restaurant, the menu was transitioning from spring to summer. The amuse-bouche that night was a crostini of a lively relish of baby artichoke heart, cauliflower, fennel, onions, carrots, gherkins, flat-cut parley, and an edible Begonia, seasoned with turmeric and mustard seed.
Headed to Amsterdam? Don't miss Amsterdam for Americans: An In-Depth Amsterdam Travel Guide

The three starters were presented at the same time and were all cleverly served at room temperature so the diner isn't compelled to eat one before the other.

Crostini at Restaurant de KasWhite and green asparagus topped with a Beurre noisette (brown butter) foam, lobster claw with leeks and beets served with a grapefruit juice reduction, and a deep-fried zucchini blossom and stem on top of cold potato soup with potato cubes, fried onions, parsley, and scallions.

All were perfectly cooked and plated, the ingredients of the highest quality. If I had a favorite it was the potato soup with the zucchini blossom, although I ate every bit of the asparagus dish, even though I am not usually a fan of white asparagus, a Dutch favorite.

The main course was a small piece of meltingly tender lamb shoulder topped with pickled onions and a delicious herb butter, accompanied by a scattering of gnocchi, dill, cauliflower, and freshly made pickled cucumbers. A green salad with a mild dressing was added as a palate cleanser.

With all these dishes, the chef carefully balances flavors and textures, paying homage to the Dutch preference for pickled vegetables by including either pickling spices and/or lightly pickled vegetables.

Panna cotta for dessert didn't sound very exciting, but each spoonful made me pause. The elements—vanilla panna cotta with rhubarb, strawberries, a scoop of lemon sorbet and a sheet of white chocolate—were so exquisite. The flavors of cold, smooth, creamy, sour, and sweet touched all the best dessert flavor notes.

A set menu relieves the tension of debating what to order and the kitchen can focus on fewer dishes, thereby allowing for better execution and less waste. Without a question a win-win advantage, at least as practiced at De Kas.

Harry Wanted to Boff Sally



The chic and desirable Doc30ty did us all a favour. She started her Blogger Santa Christmas in August idea whereupon participating bloggers are given three anonymously sourced questions to do with as they choose. Herewith my Q's and A's.

1. In When Harry Met Sally, he says that men and women can't be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way, do you believe this statement to be true?

Yes, the statement is true. And it's false. Shall I explain? Okay.

Consider two people, a man and a woman, sitting at a table in a restaurant, much like Harry and Sally did in the movie. They might be friends, or they might not, but they have things in common, can converse, share some energy. There is no sex involved, yet.

The potential for sex is what gets in the way of this relationship staying as a friendship or developing into a friendship. If either one of them thinks about and cannot act upon the other sexually for more than 1% (plus or minus, YMMV) of the time, then sex gets in the way.

The alternative is that they are mutually attracted and go on to have sex. Regularly. Presuming they have all the other prerequisites for a friendship in place, the sex probably won't get in the way, and the relationship takes its course. I submit that's what many of us would consider the best kind of relationship - friendship with someone we love and have sex with.

In short: If significant sexual desire is kept in the head, it will eventually get in the way of a friendship. Openness about one's desire (at an appropriate point) will go a long way to shrinking it back down below the 1% threshold, or towards getting laid. Either/or.

So I hope you see my point. It's not the sex that gets in the way, it's the potential for sex. Unrequited longings doom m/f friendships.

2. If you could re-run your life again, what is the one thing that you would do differently?

I should have stopped and married the girl I know now I should have stopped and married. She wasn't perfect, but she was the right one. And had I asked, I think she would have. Dammit. What a fool.

3. If you could offer me one bit of advice to get through life, what would it be?

Gain wisdom beyond your years, maintain energy from your early years, and never, ever take yourself seriously. There are enough of us out here to fulfil the 'taking yourself seriously' quota for centuries to come - no need to pile on.

For myself, I can tell you that the greatest gift has been understanding the architecture of optimism. Fear of the future and regret for the past will kill you as surely as a knife to the heart. But if you believe in a future positive the past immediately begins to load up with contentment, and tomorrow doesn't look so bad.



Bottoms Up, Optimists!



Pic from the Twin Cities Daily Photo. I want to go to MSP now. [link]

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Figs Tart Up

A chance encounter with a discounted flat of perfectly ripe figs led to a day of baking in pursuit of a great tasting fig tart for a recipe I wanted to contribute to Zesterdaily.  
Although it might look complicated, because there are a number of elements (tart dough, custard, roasted almonds, fig confit), each can be made several days ahead.  On the day you want to serve the tart, you'll only spend a few minutes putting everything together.  The tart goes in the oven while you're having drinks with your friends.  Easy.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Giveaway Winner

Just a quick post to announce the winner of my giveaway...   and the random number generator picked #4--Congrats Joanne!!  Shoot me an email and I'll get the book out to you.  To everyone else, I'd highly recommend The Blind Pig and hope you enjoy it as much as I did :)

(click image to enlarge)


I also wanted to apologize for my absence around your blogs...  I've been on vacation this past week and have alot to catch up on!  I'll be back soon, though, promise ;)   From the pictures of my trip above, do you have any guesses as to where I was??

Edited to add:  Do these photos look alright to you??  They always look fine on my laptop, but I've noticed at work that they look quite dark, so I thought I'd check.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Showering With Friends


I like the colour pink, and was told once that it suits me by a 'colour consultant.'

She was one of those women who flourish in fat good times, when people have money to waste on the kind of women who convince us they can change our lives by removing taupe from our 'wardrobe palette'. For a stupid big fee.

As a result, I used to wear pink business shirts - with blue and dark pink ties in case the message that pink is good for me wasn't completely obvious. Pink supposedly says 'gay' but I'm sufficiently at ease with my sexuality to be unconcerned. Perhaps that's the thing about pink on heterosexual men; it's ironic.

Times are far from fat, and I haven't tripped over a colour consultant in days. I could have used one in SuperTarget this morning, as I searched for a shower-curtain. Naturally, I was drawn to the pink one. It spoke to me in a way that none of the others could, hinting at loofahs and sharing hot water and scented body-wash with a lady friend. Grrrr. Give me a slippery, soapy wench, someone.

But an evil voice spoke up: What does a pink shower curtain say about you, Mister? Will that lady friend be so keen to lather up if she thinks you're a pink shower-curtain kinda lad?

So it came to pass that, right there in the bathroom section of SuperTarget, I gave in to the evil voice. I chose the shower-curtain with the aqua, teal and navy-blue dots. The days of pink are over.

Oh, and China? If you insist on sending me your cheap-jack shoddy plastic shower-curtains, you could have the respect to actually punch out the holes for the rings. Fucking jokers. And Target? Ten bucks for that? You're even worse. Screw you, too.



Bottoms Up, Shoppers!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Eating in Amsterdam

A recent trip to Amsterdam has yielded several articles for Peter Greenberg.  The latest just posted, a piece about the local food scene.  

Dutch Food & the Amsterdam Restaurant Scene
Dutch food in AmsterdamMost travelers agree, you don't go to Amsterdam for the food. The museums, no question. The canals and parks, absolutely. The Red Light District and the "coffee shops," sure, if that's your thing. But the food? Not so much, right?

After all, is there really such a thing as Dutch cuisine, or even GOOD Dutch food? The answer might be ... yes. If you're a roving foodie like David Latt, part of the journey to any destination includes unexpected surprises, and Amsterdam didn't disappoint. Read on to find what he uncovered.

In Amsterdam, restaurant food tends to be hit-or-miss. Most dishes are under-seasoned, but that doesn't mean you won't eat well.

The fact is, you're likely to have good cafe food; meaning great sandwiches, delicious cheeses, excellent coffee, and plenty of good breads and pastries. Meanwhile, Amsterdam's various ethnic offerings continually surprise new visitors. The trick is knowing where to find these spots and getting the local experience while you're at it.

EATING AND DRINKING WHAT'S LOCAL

Interestingly, some Dutch export products consumed at home taste much better when you're in Holland. Heineken and Grolsch, for instance, seem to have more subtleties and depth of flavor.

Kaasland Singel CheeseGouda isn't generally regarded as a particularly interesting cheese, but stop by Kaasland Singel, west of Centraal Station, and have a sampling of the locally produced cheeses. You'll be surprised that the Gouda can have a creamy richness similar to French comte.

What's more, you know you're not in Kansas anymore when you taste Gouda made from cow's or goat's milk and flavored with any one of a dozen herbs and seasonings, including stinging nettle, cumin, pepper, mustard seed, garlic and onions, coriander, Italian herbs (garlic, sun dried tomatoes, and olives), walnuts, hot pepper, garlic, or basil.

Living on the edge of the North Sea, the Dutch have a love of seafood. Walk across the street from Kaasland Singel to the herring shack overlooking the canal for a uniquely Dutch experience: a plate of lightly pickled, raw herring.

Locals will tell you that the best herring is caught in the spring. Purists avoid the traditional condiments, onions and pickles, preferring to savor the fish au naturel. To eat them Amsterdam-style, order your herring whole, pick it up by the tail, tilt back your head, and let the fish descend into your mouth.
Don't miss David Latt's Amsterdam for Americans: In-Depth Amsterdam Travel Guide

Hutspot Dutch food at Five FliesIf you want to continue sampling traditional Dutch food, head to Spuistraat and visit D'Vijff Vlieghen(aka, The Five Flies) and its neighbor across the street, Restaurant Haesje Claes and order the Dutch stick-to-your-ribs classic, hutspot: mashed potatoes, carrots, and onions served with smoked pork sausage, thick bacon, and a super-sized beef meatball.

If you can't get a reservation at either restaurant, the locals know that you can order from the Haesje Claes menu at De Koningshut, the homey workingman's bar next door.

Whatever you try from the extensive menus should be accompanied by large quantities of Dutch beer or, an Amsterdam favorite, Jupiler from Belgium.

LIVE LIKE A LOCAL, EAT LIKE A KING

A good friend who has visited Amsterdam many times says that the best way to experience the city is to rent an apartment, cook your own food and live like a local.

If you do that, then you'll want to shop at the open air markets - the famous Northern Market (Noordermarkt), New Market (Nieuwmarkt), and Albert Cuypmarkt - here you can buy high-quality cheese (domestic and imported) meats, poultry, seafood, baked goods, and farm-fresh produce. The Markt near Vondelpark, located at Overtoom 21 25, reminds one of a smaller, more intimate Whole Foods, with an excellent section of seafood, organic meats, fresh produce, wine, and baked goods.
For more foodie adventures, visit our Culinary Travel section.

Open Air Dutch Market, AmsterdamFor your morning coffee and pastry, you'll want to find a bakery like Vlaamsch Broodhuys on Haarlemmerstraat, between Singel and Prinsengracht, where you can sit quietly, read the paper and start the day as slowly as possible.

In the afternoon or early evening, when you need a coffee, sandwich, or beer, stop by a brown cafe-so called because their interiors are almost entirely brown. Originally, the cafes earned their distinctive color not from paint, but years of accumulated cigarette smoke. Today, however, smoking is restricted to outdoor patios and the coffee shops that sell marijuana and hash.

On the other hand, if the weather is sunny, you will probably want to sit outside and people-watch.

Rembrandt Square (Rembrandtplein) is favored by tourists, with its large, Parisian-style cafes, while Leidsen Square (Leidseplein) at the juncture of Weteringschans, Marnixstraat, and Leidsestraat near the Singel canal is preferred by locals. In the summer when it doesn't get dark until 11 p.m., hundreds of people fill the cafes.

There are also smaller but still crowded cafes at the New Market, and a collection of bars and restaurants with outdoor seating where Spui, Spuistraat and Singel meet in front of the American Book Center and the Athenaeum Boekhandel.
For more, don't miss the Off the Brochure Travel Guide: Amsterdam, Netherlands

Crea Cafe AmsterdamIf you tire of all the hustle and bustle, there is Crea Cafe, part of the University of Amsterdam's cultural programming organization. The cafe, frequented by students, has a narrow outdoor patio where you can enjoy a coffee and sandwich and watch locals row by in their small boats.

Brasserie Harkema is another oasis of quiet, just a few minutes walk from crowded, noisy Dam Square. The simple bistro menu features comfort food like asparagus soup with ham and open faced BLTs with lots of smoked bacon. The small outdoor brick patio is the perfect place to chill out and sample their extensive wine list, the quiet disturbed only by the sound of passing bicycles and the occasional horse-drawn carriage.

Desserts are widely available, as are chocolates. A particular favorite is Puccini Bomboni with two locations: Staalstraaat 17 and Haarlemmerstraat 12.

Dutch chocolate at Puccini BomboniHere, the chocolates are laid out in great mounds, tempting innocents to lose their self-control. Anyone with a passion for high-quality chocolates should only enter the store with a companion whose assignment is to prevent excessive purchasing and consumption.

ETHNIC FOOD, AMSTERDAM-STYLE


If you're craving ethnic food, there are many Asian restaurants through out the city. Because of the Netherlands' colonial history, Indonesian restaurants serving rijsttafel (rice table) have long been popular. The always crowded, Restaurant Kantjil & de Tijger bills itself as an Indonesian restaurant, but the menu suggests a fusion of many Asian cuisines.

Zeedijk street, from Prins Hendrikkade in front of Centraal Station to New Market, along the western edge of the Red Light District, has dozens of restaurants serving the cuisines of many nations.

If you hunger for large platters of meat, there are Argentinean and Brazilian restaurants. For Asian cuisine, there is Indonesian, Thai, and Vietnamese.

Nam Kee AmsterdamMany travelers I know insist on "going native," but sooner or later tire of the local cuisine and have an insatiable craving for Chinese food. Nam Kee is the most-recommended with its 17-page, encyclopedic menu offering rice, noodle, curry, meat, seafood, and vegetarian dishes. The waiters don't speak English, a rarity in Amsterdam, and they don't take American credit cards, which is true at most restaurants, so bring euros.

Besides the usual Mandarin and Cantonese menus, there is Suriname Chinese, another remnant of the Dutch colonial experience.

Ethnic restaurants are also found in De Pijp (the Pipe), especially on Albert Cuypstraat where you'll find the delightful Bazar. The Middle Eastern dishes are under-seasoned, but you'll spend hours happily talking and drinking, thoroughly enjoying the eccentric interior.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday Fluffer - New Use for Nylons


As if the idea of stockings isn't sexy enough, there's this:

Tie two or three knots in a nylon stocking, and gently wrap it (don’t tie it) around the base of his penis so it’s snug but still has some give. The compression makes him even more sensitive, and the knots stimulate your clitoris as you move in girl-on-top.

Anyone tried it?

From the wonderful folks at Cosmopolitan.


Bottoms Up, Adventurers!


Pic from here [link]

Pineapple Slaw

Inspired by the slaw I had after my race a few weeks back, I set out to create a pineapple slaw to go with the burgers I had unearthed from the depths of my freezer.   I used canned pineapple, so it wasn't as noticeable as I wanted it to be.   Still good, but feel free to play around with proportions and flavors to suit your tastebuds!


Pineapple Slaw
Recipe by Shannon

This is a lightly dressed slaw-- if you prefer a little more body, add more yogurt and a little less buttermilk.

1 12oz pkg of broccoli slaw (could also use regular coleslaw mix)
1c shredding carrots (~5oz)
2-8oz cans of crushed pineapple, drained (might even want more than this, or chunks)
1T poppyseeds
3-4T raisins
3-4T chopped walnuts
1/2c buttermilk
3T mayo (I have an olive-oil one that hides in my fridge for a rainy day)
3T cider vinegar
1T honey
salt/pepper, to taste

In a large bowl, combine dressing ingredients (buttermilk through honey).  Whisk together, taste and adjust seasonings (salt and pepper).  Add the slaw ingredients and toss well to combine.


I've also recently tried out Deb's Mango Slaw w/Cashews and Mint, and apparently am loving the fruit addition :)

Do you have a favorite slaw recipe??

Don't forget, a few more days left to enter my giveaway!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Easiest Pasta You’ll Ever Make Using Grilled Corn and Roasted Garlic


On a recent trip to Sonoma County, my wife and I wandered from the coast to the inland farmland to eat our way across one of America's most productive valleys. We were lucky enough to have some wonderful meals. We especially enjoyed chef Josh Silvers' 
We loved his roasted garlic-butter sauce on his grilled corn, I was inspired to write a recipe that adapted that flavor combination with pasta.  I posted the recipe on Zesterdaily.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Never Look a Gift Babe in the Brain


Mr Nights' comment yesterday neatly captured one segment of men's response to women.

Never look a gift babe in the brain translated means if she's willing to have sex, the conversation won't matter. So we don't worry about it.

Compartmentalization rules. Women will fall into a few obvious categories, with some variation from man to man. Women will be:

-> for sex and sex-related activities if it's clear that's what they want.

-> for company and conversation if they mesh with our intellectual/physical interests.

-> for fun and amusement if our senses of humour are compatible.

-> for marriage and procreation if our spirits are synchronous.

Overlaps occur; think of them as interconnecting doors between compartments.

In a perfect world one woman would fulfill all of our needs, or, to complete the metaphor, fill all our compartments.

I have a half-formed idea that we can have sex with all of the woman-types, but that might be because I'm tired. We probably even attempt relationships (longer than a few shags) with one-compartment women, with predictable results. These are doomed.

Realistically, a decent level of all four compatibilities should be the minimum for an attempt at something serious. Figuring out that kind of thing takes time...and really, who has the patience for that stuff thesedays?





Bottoms Up, Compartmentalists!

Menage a Snooze


A certain animus towards Hugh Hefner wafts around the place, which is appropriate because he smells like stinky old person. He smells like old person because he is old person, wearing that funky fragrance like it's Old Spice.

The problem with Playboy's playboy-in-chief is his lost relevance. The niche he fills is that of the delusional male baby-boomer, an admittedly large demographic but one with vanishingly small future attraction. The days of women needing media-savvy pimps and a nude portfolio to kick-start their careers are over, although a distressingly large number of babes have yet to get the news. Hello internet, hello digital photography, hello do-it-yourself pimping.

I have a small sneaking admiration for Hugh. His redeeming quality is the ability to raise the ire of the Permanently Outraged. That gormless smile and the ridiculous three-girlfriends-at-a-time lifestyle are a parody of what he used to be - a fact that escapes only those who take it seriously.

And given what I've seen of his taste in chicks, Hugh and regular guys really have nothing in common. Those dopey blonde bimbos Hef likes are so far removed from the kind of sexy captivating non-perfect women I like as to be out of sight. Hugh's a fossil, and that's his only value.



Bottoms Up, Bikini-ed Babes!





Pic of Heidi from Playboy.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

A Zucchini Summer

While I'm always eager to pick up zucchini this time of year,  when I spied some zucchini blossoms at an orchard a couple weekends ago I couldn't put them in my cart fast enough!   While I had seen them before, this was my first time giving them a try.


I stuffed them (w/goat cheese, roasted garlic and basil)

I put them on a pizza (w/ zucchini and a goat cheese/pesto "sauce")

I tried them in a pasta sauce.  And I felt like I never really tasted them.   Not sure what they're supposed to taste like, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get them again.   Ah well, at least I can say I tried!

Instead I'll continue to jump into the zucchini bounty to make more pizza...

...make more Savory Zucchini Bread
 
...and combine them with amazing corn to make fritters!

Zucchini Corn Fritters
adapted from Serious Eats
Serves 2-3

2c shredded zucchini
1/2t salt
1 lg egg
1 lg egg white
kernels from 1 ear of corn
1/2c thinly sliced spring onions
2T Daregal Fresh Frozen Original herb blend (cilantro, parsley, or whatever you have on hand)
1/4c +2T white whole wheat flour
freshly ground black pepper

Place shredded zucchini in colander in the sink over a bowl and sprinkle with salt.  Toss to combine and let drain 10-15min.

Mix egg and egg white with a fork in a medium bowl.  Add corn kernels, onion, herbs, flour and pepper.  Squeeze as much liquid from zucchini as you can (with your hands) and add to the bowl.  Mix well.

Heat a nonstick pan over medium heat.  You might need to add a little oil to the pan.   Depending on the size of your pan, add 2-4 heaping spoonfuls of fritter mix to the pan and cook 2-4min on each side, until nicely browned.   Repeat until you have used all of your batter.

I enjoyed these with some chipotle cream (1/2-1T chipotle/adobo sauce mixed with ~1/2c greek yogurt)!

Have you ever tried squash blossoms??  Yay or nay??    How about your favorite zucchini recipe this summer?

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!!

Monday, August 9, 2010

He's a Sociopath, She's Quirky.



I had to look up the definition of 'sociopath'. Tossing around psychiatric terms with no knowledge can land you in Blogger Court, where there's no right of appeal. Better to bluff your way through or hire The Juice's legal team...which would be fine except that most them are dead.

In any case, never plead guilty - Blogger Jail is full of lying bluffing sociopath writers who know the real meaning of giving someone a cup of 'sugar'.

The qualities of a sociopath are so wide-ranging that not having one of them would disqualify you from the human race. And the most obvious skill is not mentioned, namely the ability to have six concurrent girlfriends and never call one by another's name.

That's truly superhuman.

Sociopath Profile from here [link]

# Glibness and Superficial Charm

# Manipulative and Conning

# Grandiose Sense of Self

# Pathological Lying

# Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt

# Shallow Emotions

# Incapacity for Love

# Need for Stimulation

# Callousness/Lack of Empathy

# Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature

# Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency

# Irresponsibility/Unreliability

# Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity

# Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle

# Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility


Tell me you have none of these.




Bottoms Up, Empaths!


Pic of Lorraine Bracco from here [link]

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Friday, August 6, 2010

The Blind Pig

It might not be evident these days, but I used to be quite the book worm when I was younger.  I don't know that I could describe my 'taste' in literature, but it ranges from more serious, science-y type books to entertaining beach reads.  A friend of mine recently gave me a copy of The Blind Pig by Elizabeth Dougherty.  It satisfied the scientist and foodie in me and I couldn't put it down!!


Since I really enjoyed the book, I hope you will too!  Luckily I was able to interview Beth and am going to give away a copy of the book!   Read the interview below and contest details at the bottom of the post.  It was great to get to know Beth a bit more, and I think you'll get a good taste of what the book is about from her answers.

What made you decide to write The Blind Pig?
I had just started working as a science writer in Boston and I was pretty blown away by how quickly genetic engineering and synthetic biology were moving.  I was also overwhelmed by the public health problems that medicine is trying to solve.  At the same time, I lived way out of town in a 200 year-old farmhouse, so there was sort of a culture shock between my work-life and home-life.  Out here, things are quiet and we worry about whether or not the tractor is going to start more than about whether the country will go bankrupt taking care of an unhealthy population.  That's not completely true, but you get the idea.

Anyway, I had a 2-hour (each way) commute on the train, so I just started writing, kind of as therapy.  I used to be an engineer, so I'm a natural problem solver, and my brain just started applying all of these incredible new discoveries and technologies to solving our public health problems.  Once I had the idea for the NArc, the cultural tension between the modern city and the old-fashioned country helped me find the plot.  And once I had some momentum, I kept going because writing this book was really a lot of fun.
How did you come up with the title?
I'm embarrassed to say that I got the title straight out of Wikipedia.  I had this idea to have speakeasies play a role in the book, so one day I just looked them up to start learning more about them.  When I saw that a 'Blind Pig' was another name for a speakeasy, it just clicked. It worked on so many levels but didn't hit you over the head.

At the time, I also was in the middle of an obsession with lard.  I was baking with it -- biscuits, pie crusts -- and rendering it myself.  I was visiting pig farms and small slaughterhouses to learn more about pigs.  The whole story in the book about the tubs of lard the USDA researchers tipped over that Herb tells Angela is actually true.  And in a completely non-scientific taste test I did with friends, the lard-based pie crusts were voted flakiest and tastiest.  Did you know that the pig is considered to be 'nature's refrigerator'?  People used to use pigs as 'larders' -- they'd stuff them with food to fatten them, then eat them over the winter.

But maybe that's just too much information!
What was the most surprising/disturbing thing you discovered when doing research for the book?
I think I'm most disturbed and surprised at how often people have forwarded me news articles about things happening right now that foreshadow some of the futuristic things in the book.  People are growing artificial meats, they are linking engineered organs together to make working bodily systems, they are growing gardens on the sides of skyscrapers, and they are making health-monitoring systems that people carry with them everywhere and that report back to doctors.  People are even developing expert systems to help doctors interpret personal genomes for patients.  It's eerie.  Of course, we have no idea what the future may hold, but if we aren't paying attention, we might not like where we end up.

Have you changed the way you eat since writing the book?
Yes!  During and since writing this, I've spent a lot of time growing food myself.  I enjoy it and it tastes good.  I have also developed an appreciation for just how hard it is.  I cannot imagine being completely self-sustaining.  I also sometimes buy meat from local farmers.  It's a challenge because cooking this food is more work than cooking convenient cuts of meat from the grocery store.

At the same time, I've been thinking a lot about how food affects me -- especially since I'm a runner -- so I've sort of NArc'd myself.  I did an elimination diet and now I actually have a pretty strict diet because certain foods -- especially sugar and wheat -- just get me down.  This is a drag, since I love making pastry, but I allow myself to cheat sometimes.  Luckily the only fine I pay is in feeling bad!  So mostly I eat pretty simple food.  Meat.  Rice.  Quinoa.  Vegetables.  Fruit.  I really should move to a place where almonds, apricots and olives grow because they make up a huge part of my diet.  South of France, here I come!

And since you're a runner...  what's your favorite way to fuel for a long run?
Geez, you had to ask that, didn't you?  Ok.  I'll admit it.  For a long run, I eat engineered food.  Specifically, Clif Bars.  Peanut toffee buzz is my favorite.  I actually think they're pretty yucky, but they are filling enough to keep me going.  I sometimes make oatmeal, but I don't like to do anything that gets me feeling too cozy before a long run.  There's a risk I'll just curl up on the couch with a book instead, especially if it's snowing.  And during any run that's longer than 90 minutes, I eat Clif Blocks and bring water along in my CamelBack.  The blocks are also pretty gross, but they are, in my opinion, thousands of times better than goo.



Wow, so articulate.  I guess I should expect that from an author ;)  Thanks Beth!!

To enter to win a copy of The Blind Pig, all you have to do comment and tell me your favorite book of the summer!  Contest will run until 10am Sunday August 15th.

Do you know what you're eating?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Friday Fluffer - Gaga is Gaga


In a recent interview with Vanity Fair magazine, Lady Gaga said she tries to abstain from sex because she is afraid to lose her creative energy.

"I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina." {Emphasis mine.}

The singer admits she doesn’t trust anyone and don’t know if she will ever have.

"I’m always alone."



Can't think why.



Bottoms Up, Vaginal Expellers!




Pic from here [link]

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

20,000 Pubes Under the Tongue


My guess is that it's your experience too, that pubic hair isn't as well anchored to the pudendum as it ought. But what a jolly bonding thing it is to stop and amusingly highlight that you are removing a pube from between your teeth lest more than one collect and create a ball. Hilarious.

Which reminds me that this situation is called having sex, whereas one hair in your eggdrop soup calls for a lawsuit. What a funny olde world we live in. Thank you tort lawyers.

But back to the man in the boat. It's my phrase du jour, this happy nautical metaphor for the clitoris hiding in the decking. Sneaky individual that man in the boat, for sometimes he's under a sou'wester, and other times he's out on the poop deck just gagging for some company. And just why is he a man? Shirley an all girl crew is more appropriate?

Being criticised for lack of ability to find the clit is often man's lot. If Nintendo got their act together, they could do fantastically. Imagine this: A Wii game in which the object is to find and stimulate a digital clitoris until the boat is awash in wet'n'gooey. If Wii controllers accepted input from tongue, lips, fingers and teeth, we'd have ourselves a decent cunt simulator.



Bottoms Up, Gamers!



Pic from this excellent site [link]

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dry As a Nun's Nasty


Lady Lubrication should come naturally unless you're putting shit in places designed for expelling shit. Then you'll definitely need lubrication unless you're in Vegas where such acts are an amuse bouche to the main show which (if the relativity of these things holds) means the sex will have roughly the same quality of production as Cirque du Soleil.

Which those in the know know as the Circus of The Camel Toe.

Political Correctness prevents me from drawing attention to the fact that if you find yourself in the presence of a non-lubricating vag, you're probably in the presence of another dude, dude. Please be informed, LesbianGayTransoceanBifurcatedQueen Lobby, that this is not a drill, it's for real. A drill would probably be less painful, and wholly less embarrassing.

However, if surgically created vaginas or slippery blowjobs or squeaky camel toes are your thing, I see some lube in your future - probably bought in a 7-Eleven along with a 24-pack of Natty Light.

In a hopeless act of optimism, the well-oiled folks at K-Y { K-Y® Brand } sent me some of their new edible lube to test. All I can say is that it tastes fine on ice-cream. If you want to know how to use it for the job for which it was designed, read Snaf's thoughts about, apparently, a non-surgically created penis.

Link to the Snafugirl's sexy adventures with edible lube. [link]


Bottoms Up, Dessicants!


Pic by me.

DISCLAIMER: This posting comments on product sent to me on behalf of K-Y® Brand to facilitate my review.