Why Is She Single?

Wombat: So who is the brunette hottie in the pic you sent?

Friend-Girl: Oh, that's Chantelle.

Wombat: Would I like her?

Friend-Girl: Hmmmm, maybe. She's a little spiritual for you. But I think she's dirty - she's always talking about her thigh-high boots and lingerie. I'm sure you'd like that about her.

Wombat: So why is she single?

Friend-Girl: You can't ask that question.

Wombat: Sorry?

Friend-Girl: That question is off-limits. Everyone asks cute single girls why they don't have a man, like that's the only thing that matters. So I rule the question invalid.

Wombat: Oh. I can't even ask the question?

Friend-Girl: Nope.

Pause. 

Wombat: This is about you, isn't it? You don't want to talk about this because you're sans-a-man, right?

Friend-Girl: Bastard.

Click.






Bottoms Up, Freedom of Speechers.

That's Not a Killer Whale, Tommy, That's An Orca.

Married male friends enjoy it when I ask:

So, how's life in captivity?

The usual response is some form of personal insult.

Now, I'm not foolish enough to think that married men are unhappy, because the evidence is that they're not. They're wealthier, healthier and likely enjoying a more fulfilling sex life than any singleton. And if they're not benefiting from better and more regular sex, it's their own fault.

My captivity jibe contains just a tiny amount of truth, in that the natural enemy of the single man is his married friend's wife. Wives dislike and discourage single buddies for the same reason men obsess over chickweed in the lawn - exotic species are insidious reminders of the wild kingdom.

The way this tension often resolves is that men gradually give up single buddies. Given the choice between justifying a night out with single men and avoiding explanations to the wife, most will choose the latter. It's a mistake, to the extent that man's mental health is improved by the companionship of other men. The decision to avoid single guys altogether can lead to a decline in all kinds of male friendships; obviously a bad idea.

I think the real trick is to keep the single guys on a restricted venue basis. No titty bars, no big boozy nights, no questionable fellow travelers - and that's up to married guy enforcement. I'd suggest that finding a way to graft a prior single life onto married life before you actually get married is worthy of serious thought. Otherwise you'll find yourself feeling as if you're an exhibit at Seaworld, pretending to enjoy living in a bathtub eating frozen mackerel.



Bottoms Up, Seaworld Dwellers.

In The Trenches

Connecting with new people has a fancy modern name: networking. As far as words go, it's not sexy - too many reminders of Chamber of Commerce mixers and awkward Meetup groups. Blech.

Nevertheless, here we are a few hundred thousand years on, trying to find juuuuust the right one. But  we're not alone. Married friends of singletons are big on changing our single status, even a little bit. Which explains why I received this email, reading in part...

"I’m reaching out to make an introduction.  Not for a date, but for a connection.  You’re both single, well read, well traveled and fun.

Maybe you can get together for drinks and giggles...."

This came from a married (naturally) female friend whom I thought understood that her focus should be on finding me potential lerv interests, not a book-club buddy. 

Spot the subtext in the email with one swift reading, ie:


...Not for a date, but for a connection...

Translation: Either I'm too ugly for her, or she's a beast.


...single, well read, well traveled and fun...

Translation: Hopelessly unavailable, set in our ways or just plain ornery, we are both destined to be a confirmed bachelor or an unavailable spinster.


...drinks and giggles...

Translation: Because the thought of sex between you two is laughable.


Yes, I know, I'm an ungrateful ingrate. We can never have too many friends. Blah, blah.

Still. It's brutal when you gain insight into others' perception of you. 






Bottoms Up, High Opinion Holders.

Friday Fluffer - The Over/Under

Jayne Mansfield photo credit.

My Friend Tim: So, did those girls from the tiki bar on Sunday call you?

Wombat: Yep. Vicki, the older brunette called on Monday night.

My Friend Tim: Hmmm, it's always the ugly one.

Wombat: Pity it wasn't the cute blonde.

My Friend Tim: I guess, but you don't want her either.

Wombat: No?

My Friend Tim: No, dude. Fierce overbite. You can do better.




Friends always see what we cannot, no matter how irrelevant.





Bottoms Up, Friends.

Harry Wanted to Boff Sally

The chic and desirable Doc30ty did us all a favour. She started her Blogger Santa Christmas in August idea whereupon participating bloggers are given three anonymously sourced questions to do with as they choose. Herewith my Q's and A's.

1. In When Harry Met Sally, he says that men and women can't be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way, do you believe this statement to be true?

Yes, the statement is true. And it's false. Shall I explain? Okay.

Consider two people, a man and a woman, sitting at a table in a restaurant, much like Harry and Sally did in the movie. They might be friends, or they might not, but they have things in common, can converse, share some energy. There is no sex involved, yet.

The potential for sex is what gets in the way of this relationship staying as a friendship or developing into a friendship. If either one of them thinks about and cannot act upon the other sexually for more than 1% (plus or minus, YMMV) of the time, then sex gets in the way.

The alternative is that they are mutually attracted and go on to have sex. Regularly. Presuming they have all the other prerequisites for a friendship in place, the sex probably won't get in the way, and the relationship takes its course. I submit that's what many of us would consider the best kind of relationship - friendship with someone we love and have sex with.

In short: If significant sexual desire is kept in the head, it will eventually get in the way of a friendship. Openness about one's desire (at an appropriate point) will go a long way to shrinking it back down below the 1% threshold, or towards getting laid. Either/or.

So I hope you see my point. It's not the sex that gets in the way, it's the potential for sex. Unrequited longings doom m/f friendships.

2. If you could re-run your life again, what is the one thing that you would do differently?

I should have stopped and married the girl I know now I should have stopped and married. She wasn't perfect, but she was the right one. And had I asked, I think she would have. Dammit. What a fool.

3. If you could offer me one bit of advice to get through life, what would it be?

Gain wisdom beyond your years, maintain energy from your early years, and never, ever take yourself seriously. There are enough of us out here to fulfil the 'taking yourself seriously' quota for centuries to come - no need to pile on.

For myself, I can tell you that the greatest gift has been understanding the architecture of optimism. Fear of the future and regret for the past will kill you as surely as a knife to the heart. But if you believe in a future positive the past immediately begins to load up with contentment, and tomorrow doesn't look so bad.



Bottoms Up, Optimists!



Pic from the Twin Cities Daily Photo. I want to go to MSP now. [link]

Little Black Book

Before hookups, sexting and booty calls, the discreet man with an argument in his trousers turned to a simple piece of hardware known as the Little Black Book.

The Little Black Book is terrifically James Bond in the Sean Connery-as-James Bond way. Other Connery-style Bond icons are unprotected sex, unemotional one-night stands, rampant chest hair, sexually aggressive women double-agents, martinis, champagne, neckties and Walther PPKs.

Sigh. They were the days.

We're all clear that the LBB contained the phone numbers of one's sexual partners aren't we - past, present, prospective and possible lovers? That was the point, the ability to contact women who might be up for a little slap and tickle at short notice.

The other reason to keep a LBB was to find a possible date for a buddy. The unrecognized value of keeping the details of exes is not just that they might be interested in a fling for old times' sake, but that you know their track record. Mates look after mates in many ways.

Of course, the Law of Unexpected Consequences applies here too. When comparing LBBs, finding that you have one (or more) of the same names as your buddy raises questions best left unanswered.


Bottoms Up, 007s!




LBB from here [link]

A Bird in the Hand is Worth More Than Two in the Bush.

Unless you are Mr Pitt or Mr Clooney, a single man would do well to not approach two women together in a bar. The chances of a lone male detaching one from the other are slim at best, verging on impossible at worst.

If you like a challenge, just try. Proceed into a bar on your own, purchase a cocktail, and walk up to to a birdie pair. You will not separate them, no matter how good your script.

Men rarely share this kind of folk-lore. That's because we see all other men as enemies in the game of finding willing women, an insane way to behave.

There's a great deal of fun to be had trying, though. If you're in a group, or just up for the rhetorical sport, give it a go one day. Women stick together like God's adhesive if they're in even numbers. An odd-numbered group gives the man way better odds until the number of females is greater than five, when it's cash bar time.

My friend Sam (who happens to be a woman, so her real name is Samantha) was intrigued by all this at happy hour this evening.

But Wombat, she said, tilting her head suggestively to two ladies along the bar, Don't you like the blonde with the pink pig-tail?

Sam. No. I'm a brunette aficionado, and in any case it's a pair of women. I'm not stupid.

Sam and I need to talk more.

Bottoms up!




Picture is from somewhere, but I am too mesmerized by her bust to worry about linking.

Edited for all kinds of horrid abominations of HRH English.

A Tasting at Il Fornaio, Santa Monica

We had planned to spend New Year's Eve with friends and family but the flu and changes in schedules left us on our own. The New Year deserves to be celebrated, so we organized a dinner the first week of January at Il Fornaio (1551 Ocean Avenue, Santa Monica, CA 90401
Phone: 310.451.7800) in Santa Monica.

We enjoy coming to Il Fornaio for many reasons: their good food, affordable prices, and their Passporto program that rewards diners who come frequently during the Festa Regionale. During the first two weeks of every month, Il Fornaio presents a menu featuring the dishes and wines of a particular region in Italy. January's region is Trentino-Alto Adige, which borders Switzerland and Austria.

We met at the Santa Monica Il Fornaio, our favorite, because of the cozy setting and the friendly, attentive staff. Because the Regionale pairs food with wine, we came hungry and thirsty. Since we had a large group, we could order a good sampling of dishes.

The Potato and Leek Soup (Zuppa di Patate e Erbe di Campo) had layer upon layer of flavor. The creamy texture was complimented by the Swiss chard's edge. The soup was topped with a grilled slice of Il Fornaio's focaccia bread that slowly dissolved, adding even more flavor. The soup was paired with a Pinot Bianco Dolomiti, Alois Lageder (2007) . Light, crisp, and delicately flavored, the Pinot Bianco was an excellent way to begin the evening's tasting.

We enjoyed the focaccia so much, we ordered a plate of the Grilled Focaccia Topped with Goat Cheese and Radicchio (Crostini con Radicchio). Focaccia can come in so many ways. They are at their best when the grilled bread is complimented with contrasting textures and flavors. The Crostini had those in abundance.

Because some of our group were vegetarians, the soup served them well. For the second course, they had the Butternut Squash Gnocchi without the pancetta (Gnocchi di Zucca e Cicoria). For those of us who enjoy meat, the crispy pancetta was an added treat. The consensus at the table was that these were some of the best gnocchi we had ever eaten. Creamy and sweet. The menu paired the gnocchi with the Pinot Bianco, so we asked for more just to show that we were paying attention.

The second pasta was only for the meat eaters: Pasta with Pork Tenderloin (Rigatoni alla Castellana). The tenderloin was accented by crisp bacon and shiitake mushrooms, the pasta coated with a parmesan-fresh thyme sauce. A heavier dish required a more substantial wine, so we had the Pinot Noir, Kris (2007).

For our meat course we could choose from chicken breasts, grilled Scottish salmon and oven roasted veal. We wanted to try all three, they sounded so delicious, but we had eaten so much of the appetizers and pasta course, we chose just one, the Chicken Breast Sauteed with Speck (Medaglioni di Pollo). As befits a regional menu, the chicken illustrated the cuisine of Italy's far-northern area. Borrowing from its Austrian neighbor, the dish was served with mashed potatoes and slow-cooked, braised red cabbage. Chicken breasts require a deft hand. These were tender, moist, and flavorful, perfectly complimented by a generous helping of porcini mushrooms and Marsala sauce. The red cabbage was so delicious, we asked for more. For the paired wine, we had a Tramin Pinot Grigio (2007) another of the region's full-flavored wines.

Dessert was a Sacher Torte, again illustrating the region's proximity to Austria. One plate was enough for our group. We were too full to think about any of the other sweets on the dessert tray.

Although we missed seeing everyone on New Year's Eve, our tasting at the Santa Monica Il Fornaio more than made up for it.

For more posts about Il Fornaio's Festa Regionale check out:
Grilled Vegetable Couscous Salad
A Tasting at Il Fornaio, Santa Monica--Trentino-Alto Adige
A Trip to Italy is Just Around the Corner at Il Fornaio--Calabria
Il Fornaio Heads South to Campania for May's Regionale
Il Fornaio Heads North to Lombardia
Abruzzo at Il Fornaio, Santa Monica
Friuli-Venezia Giulia at Il Fornaio

Holiday Vacations, Vietnamese Food & A Lobster Roll Lunch

How lucky we are that holidays allow us to take time off from our daily routines. Right now we are enjoying the in-between time that begins with the day after Christmas, extending until the day before New Year's Eve. In the retail world this is the make-or-break period when the year's profits will tip one way or the other. Besides the year-end sales, a few other price breaks are helping make the season merry.

Lower gas prices definitely help. Filling up for half the cost of a few months ago continues to be a treat. On the food front, while many commodities continue to cost more, a very few have come down in price. One in particular, lobster, surprises and delights. Mark Bittman recently wrote about lobster prices coming down on the East Coast. Even in LA, prices have fallen. At Gelson's, the upscale supermarket, lobster has been on sale for most of December.

For the holiday our family makes a yearly pilgrimage to a week's time share we bought when the boys were young. Less than two hours drive and we're in our home away from home.

Driving south from LA, we have an excuse to stop in Little Saigon, where we can have lunch at Ha Noi and shop at ABC Supermarket. At Ha Noi we had three of our favorite dishes: a shrimp spring roll, pho ga (noodle soup with chicken), and vermicelli noodles with bbq pork and shrimp.

In Vietnamese supermarkets like ABC, the cost of fresh produce, meat, poultry, and seafood tends to be 1/3 to 1/2 the price in mainstream markets. Which means we splurged and bought a lobster and lots of produce, shrimp, and a crab.

Our first lunch on vacation was a simple one: lobster salad and a Persian cucumber salad. The salads are easy to make, fresh tasting, and delicious courses to serve over the holiday or to help you welcome in the new year.

Lobster Salad

Yield: 4 servings
Time: 45 minutes

Ingredients

2 lobsters, 1 1/2 pounds each
1 cup corn kernels
1 cup Italian parsley, washed, finely chopped
1 stalk celery, washed, finely chopped
1/4 cup capers, finely chopped
2 scallions, washed, ends trimmed, finely chopped, white and green parts
1/4 - 1/3 cup mayonnaise
Olive oil
Sea salt and pepper
Cayenne (optional)

Method

The lobsters can be steamed or grilled, either technique is fine. Use the one that's easiest. If steamed, boil 2" of water in a large pot. Hold the live lobsters, head down in the boiling water for 10 seconds. Cover, reduce to a simmer for 10 minutes. Take the lobsters out of the pot, let cool so they can be handled, remove the meat, and clean away the liver.

If you want to make lobster fume for sauces or a soup, reserve the cooking water. Add any liquid inside the lobster and all the shells to the cooking water, simmer for 20 minutes, reducing the liquid by half, strain, and discard the shells and solids. Add the fume to a finely diced saute of olive oil, celery, potatoes, carrots, onions, and garlic, simmer for 30 minutes, strain, use the fume as the base for a pasta sauce or lobster-vegetable soup.

Saute the corn in olive oil, seasoned with sea salt and pepper until lightly browned. Cut the lobster into bite sized pieces and mix with the other ingredients. Season to taste with sea salt, pepper, and (optional) a light dusting of cayenne.

The lobster salad can be served many ways: with romaine lettuce leaves, grilled rolls or a halved baguette with drizzled olive oil or a heated tortilla, either traditional or ones made from brown rice (found at Trader Joe's and favored by my wife, Michelle).

Happy Birthday, Claire, This Cake's for You, a Banana Chocolate Chip Walnut Cake

Years ago when I was living in Rhode Island, I was introduced to the idea of handmade gifts by friends Hank and Risa. Their gifts were never store-bought. For my birthday one year Risa made a knitted palm tree sculpture to remind me of the California I had left behind and Hank carved an elegantly simple kitchen spoon out of curly maple. Decades later I'm reminded of them and their generosity every time I see their gifts.



I don't knit, nor am I a wood-worker, I'm a cook, so my gifts are far less permanent, but I still think that a handmade gift is more personal and evocative, albeit in my case, fleeting. When Michelle's parents in New Jersey have a birthday or anniversary or I want to connect with my friend-in-food Valerie in New York, I'll make a dessert and send it Express Mail. Double-wrapped in Ziploc bags and cushioned to protect against the transit, the gifts always arrive as a happy surprise. (Only once did a food-gift not survive the vagaries of the Postal Service. When a package of homemade pickles reached Valerie's apartment, the doorman called her to say that a very drippy parcel was waiting for her downstairs.)



For our cousin Claire, we wish we were in San Francisco today to celebrate her birthday. I had wanted to send her a Banana Chocolate Chip Walnut Cake, a dessert that my wife, Michelle, calls my "signature dish." Unfortunately I was laid low by a cold all week and didn't get the cake in the mail. Luckily her dad Ron is a chef-extraordinaire and hopefully he'll use the recipe to make Claire the cake so she and Marii, her mom, can enjoy our gift nonetheless.



Claire understands intuitively the power of a homemade gift. When we visited San Francisco in July, we stayed with them. I happily joined Ron and Michelle in cooking a dinner of farmers' market produce. In appreciation, Claire gave me 2 drawings, a whimsical rabbit and a colorful collage. Like her grandmother, Joanie, and Michelle's dad, Warren, she's a talented artist. I cherish those drawings because what she gave me was a gift of herself and that's a treasure.

Banana Cake with Chocolate Chips and Walnuts

Yield 8 to 10 servings

Time 90 minutes

Ingredients

• 4 ripe bananas
• 1 1/2 tablespoons baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon sweet butter, room temperature
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar
• 2/3 cup half and half
• 2 1/2 cups flour
• Pinch of sea salt
• Pinch of cayenne
• 1/2 cup raw walnuts
  
  
• 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Method

• 1. Melt 1 tablespoon of butter and paint the inside of a 9 x 3 round cake pan, then put the pan in the freezer for 30 minutes. (The frozen butter prevents the batter from sticking to the pan.) On a cookie sheet bake the walnuts in a 350 degree oven for 20 minutes, turning every 5 minutes or so; let cool, roughly chop, and set aside.
• 2. In a bowl mash the bananas with a fork, add the baking soda and vanilla. Stir well and set aside. In a mixer use the whisk to cream together the softened butter and both sugars. Add the eggs, mashed bananas, half and half and whisk until blended. Mix in the flour half a cup at a time, being careful not to over-beat. Remove the bowl from the mixer. Use a rubber spatula to blend in the walnuts and chocolate chips. Pour the batter into the buttered cake pan; it will only fill the pan half-way.
• 3. Bake the cake in a 350 oven for 60-70 minutes, turning the pan every 20 minutes so the cake cooks evenly. Test to see if the cake is done by inserting a wooden skewer. If the top is browning too quickly, lightly lay a sheet of aluminum foil over the top. When the skewer comes out clean, take the cake out of the oven and place it on a wire rack for 30 minutes. Remove the cake from the pan, putting it back on the wire rack to finish cooling.
• 4. Just before serving dust the top with powdered sugar and shaved chocolate. Serve warm or at room temperature with vanilla ice cream or freshly whipped cream.

A 4th of July Picnic, the Perfect Time for Salads and Ribs

We've lived in Pacific Palisades for many years, treasuring its small town qualities as a respite from the congestion of the Los Angeles megalopolis. The 4th of July brings out the best in our community. We celebrate Independence Day by getting together with our neighbors, family, and friends. The celebrations begin in the morning with the 5k/10k run, the parade down Sunset at mid-day, an early evening picnic, and conclude with the night-time fireworks at the high school.

To prepare for the picnic, we shop at the local farmers' market, buying as many fresh vegetables and fruits as we can carry. On the 4th we spend the day cooking for the pot-luck picnic we organize with a dozen of our friends. So we'll have a good spot to watch the fireworks, we meet at 6:30pm at the park opposite the high school. We look forward to the picnic because we can catch up with our friends. Even though the picnic is pot-luck, we make extra just in case... Some of our friends who like to cook bring their specialties, like Lesli's mixed berries, while others make a run to Bay Cities or Gelson's and bring containers of deli treats and rich desserts.

By 9:00pm cars are double-parked on both sides of the street and people have crowded into the park, taking up every square inch of space. Everyone is ready for the fireworks to begin and yet...the sky is not yet completely, definitively dark. In the cool night air we bundle up and pull closer together. Only when all traces of the departing sun have been drained from the sky will the fireworks begin.

And when they do, they are a treat. From the first high-streaking skyrocket that bursts into a hundred points of light to the last crescendo of a dozen overlapping explosions, the crowd oohs and aahs. With the last firework dying in the sky, we get up slowly, feeling the dampness of the ground, hug and kiss our friends goodbye, and make our way back to our cars through the haze of gunpowder smoke still hanging in the air.

4th of July Picnic

In our experience salads work well at the picnic: beet salad, carrot salad, potato salad, egg salad, and corn salad. Finger food is good too: bread & butter pickles, salt-boiled corn on the cob and grilled artichokes. This year we'll also contribute a platter of deliciously salty and sweet Brown Sugar Ribs.

Brown Sugar Pork Ribs

Yield 4 servings
Time Prep (20 minutes) Marinate (overnight) Cook (2 hours)

Ingredients

1 rack of pork ribs
1 pound brown sugar
1/4 cup kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
Olive oil
Pepper
6 ounces Italian tomato paste
1 small yellow onion (peeled, finely chopped)
2 garlic cloves (peeled, finely chopped)

Method

Trim excess fat, the membrane, and flap from the ribs. (Caprial Pence the owner-chef of Caprial's Bistro in Portland, Oregon and a fellow contributor to Eat Drink or Die shows how to prep the ribs with easy-to-follow photographs.) Reserve the flap, trimmed of its membrane, to grill for tacos.

Spread a piece of plastic wrap on the counter 5” longer than the rack. Dust the meat side of the ribs with the cayenne. Mix together the brown sugar and kosher salt. Spread half the dry mix on the plastic wrap. Lay the ribs on top, then cover with the rest of the dry mix. Cover with a second piece of plastic wrap, seal, fold in half and place into a Ziploc or plastic bag. Refrigerate in a pan overnight.

In the morning remove the ribs. The dry mix will have transformed into a slurry. Very alchemical! In a sauce pan sauté the onions and garlic with olive oil until lightly browned, season with pepper. Remove the ribs from the plastic bag. Use a rubber spatula to remove most of the liquid from the ribs and plastic bag and transfer to the sauce pan. Add the tomato paste and simmer the sauce on a low flame for 20 minutes. Taste and adjust the flavor if necessary.

Line a large baking tray with tin foil. Place a wire rack on top of the baking tray, then lay the ribs on the rack. The ribs can either be cooked in a 350 degree oven or on the “cold” side of a covered grill with the heat on high. Cook the ribs 30 minutes on each side, then baste the ribs with the sauce another 30 minutes on each side or until done. Remove from the oven, cut apart the individual ribs, and serve.

Farmers' Market Fast Food

We have a Sunday routine. Our friends Annette and Ron come over. We watch 60 Minutes, catch up, and have dinner. Last Sunday I didn't think they could make it because they'd been in Japan all that week. I assumed that if they were back in town they were probably jet lagged and wouldn't want to leave the house. But I didn't want to break the weekly tradition, so I emailed them anyway that if they were up for it, Sunday dinner was still happening. Then I went about my business and forgot completely about the invitation.

30 minutes before they would normally come over, Ron called to say that they would be arriving as usual. Knowing that they're usually a half hour late, I had an hour to make dinner.

That's where the farmers' market comes into play. For my mother's generation quickly pulling together a meal meant using prepared foods, canned or frozen. Because we shop at our local farmers' market, we always have a good selection of fresh vegetables and fruit in the refrigerator.

That morning I had picked up flowers for the dining room table and fresh corn, carrots, Haas avocados, scallions, cantaloupe, and romaine lettuce.

From what I had bought at the farmers' market, I made a salad, corn on the cob, and cut up a cantaloupe. I added a feta cheese-tapenade appetizer plate with olives and a fresh bread from Bay Cities in Santa Monica and I pulled out a banana chocolate-chip cake I'd made a few days ago. I could have stopped at that point. We had a full meal, vegetarian except for the salami in the salad, but our friends needed protein after their long trip so to fill out the meal, I grilled a rib-eye steak and a half dozen lamb chops.

The heart and soul of the meal was the farmers' market produce. Making the whole meal only took 45 minutes. Everything was ready when Ron and Annette arrived, jet lagged and very hungry.

Romaine Lettuce with Julienned Salami, Cheese, & Carrots

Yield 4 servings
Time 10 minutes

The felino salami and comte cheese came from Bay Cities. I recommend both.

Ingredients

2 hearts of romaine (washed, dried, cut into bite sized pieces)
2 tablespoons felino salami (julienned)
2 tablespoons comte cheese (julienned) cheddar or swiss would be good as well
2 tablespoons croutons (homemade preferred)
2 tablespoons carrot (washed, julienned)
1 scallion (washed, thin sliced, green and white parts)
1/2 small avocado (peeled, roughly chopped)
3 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
Sea salt and pepper

Method

Heat the balsamic vinegar in a small saucepan over a low flame until reduced to 1 tablespoon. Let cool.

Put the ingredients in a salad bowl, dress with the olive oil and reduced balsamic vinegar, and season with sea salt and pepper to taste.