The first rule of 'how to' books is: Know your audience.
In the case of "Single Effort: How to Live Smarter, Date Better, and Be Awesomely Happy" Joe Keller succeeds, mostly because he writes for himself. That's a good thing, because there are many guys like him looking for help, even if they don't know it.
Keller is a divorced father, a demographic (sadly) on the increase. His book isn't a narrative about the changes divorce wrought in his life, but it could be. What he's done is to catalogue the bridges he crossed and the hills he climbed after his split, and provide nicely succinct solutions to a lot of the problems he found.
For instance, creating a home. Many guys probably left home decoration to their wives. Now they're on their own, they need to think about how to set up a household that works for them and their children. Guys tend not to think in specifics in this area. A bed, a couch, a television and somewhere to put their car keys will often be the extent of their exploration. But we like a stylish place as much as women - it's just that we don't know where to start. A few clear-cut pointers go a long way, and Keller does so without condescension. Again, he knows his likely readership, because he is his readership.
That's the heart of this book. Keller shines his word-processing flashlight into the areas most guys tend to overlook; how to set up a kitchen, how to cook a few basic dishes, how to clean (a favourite of mine) and not least, how to date. Some of the information is as basic as it comes...how to choose cleaning products, or how to choose wine, for example. Some guys will already know much of this. But revising the fundamentals of life in this way is refreshing to see, and good for we men in the sense that we know we have the important stuff covered.
Naturally, Keller also dives into how to date as a new singleton. His philosophy partially aligns with mine, in that he's a real-world dating advocate. Joining volunteer groups or a fitness club, taking classes or simply being in the community are all suggestions as to how to meet women. Frankly, I'm not certain that a divorced man with minor children should be out there dating. The kids already have enough chaos in their lives. However, people will fall to their urges, and at least the advice here is practical.
There is one chapter about online dating - I guess no book like this would be complete without such a thing.
Clearly, this book is a winner on two levels. Firstly, the author's tone is pitch-perfect. He neither talks down to his reader, nor does he patronize them. Secondly, he doesn't overlook the mundane; that alone sets him apart, because the guy who buys and uses the right cleaning products in his water closet is the guy who gets the girl.
Bottoms Up, Detail Oriented Daters.
