Nymphomania

Nymphomania is more or less the same as insatiability, I guess, although there must be some degree of difference. Perhaps insatiables do it with one person, and nymphomaniacs do it with anyone.

Whatever it is, I hope that the word is no longer a term of approbation. Nymphomania used to have the clinical descriptor 'furor uterinus' whereas thesedays it's called 'hypersexuality'. It's still considered an abnormality, but it's one you can wear on your sleeve.

I knew a girl once who was a sort of oral nymphomaniac. She wouldn't engage in intercourse with any one but a steady boyfriend, but she'd happily fellate any fella who asked. She turned up at my place one night, late, jumped into bed with me, had her way and left. If that sounds like a Hustler letter, it's not meant to, because it's true.

I think it was a hobby - instead of a notch on her bedpost, she had another swallow.

Whatever. None of the guys I knew who were in the 'Kate Club' considered her a nympho, and in fact we all conducted regular social intercourse with her. It was just her thing. Indeed, had she been a full-blown all-out nympho, we'd never use the word as a pejorative - we'd just want a piece of the action.

But maybe that's just my experience. I wonder if women with strong sex-drives are still feared by men, rather than seen as someone to whom the red-blooded man introduces himself.





Bottoms Up, Nymphos!

Asparagus Pizza

As I was uploading pictures of this dish, I noticed Deb's post in my google reader and stopped in my tracks.   A shaved asparagus pizza--seriously??   It's not that I don't drool over everything in her smitten kitchen, because I do.  And every recipe I've made from her site has been a winner.

It's just that I made a shaved asparagus pizza.

Great minds think alike?

While the recipes seem different at first, you'll find many aspects of the pizza I made a couple of weeks ago in the tweaks section.    I made the pizza twice, but only photographed it the first time, so you might notice a few differences between the photos and the recipe.   I hope that doesn't deter you from making it, as it would be a perfect summer pie!


Shaved Asparagus-Egg Pizza w/Truffle Oil
Recipe by Shannon
Serves 2

pizza dough (I used a portion of Jenna's recipe made with white whole wheat flour, ~6-8oz)
3-4oz goat cheese
~1T milk
10-12 asparagus spears (or more, I lost count)
2 eggs
sea salt
freshly ground pepper
black truffle oil

Place pizza stone in oven and preheat to 425deg.

Mix goat cheese with milk using the back of a spoon until it becomes spreadable, almost saucy.     Holding the tough end of the asparagus spears, use a vegetable peeler to create thin shavings of asparagus.  This works best when the asparagus is laying flat on your counter or cutting board.  Discard the tough ends.   Crack the eggs into a bowl (two bowls, or one at a time).   Roll out pizza dough to the size of your pizza stone or pie plate (I usually use a light dusting of cornmeal or flour).

Once the pizza stone has preheated, transfer the dough to the pizza stone.  Spread the goat cheese over the dough, then top with shaved asparagus.  I made two little pockets in the asparagus for each of the eggs, then carefully added the eggs to the pizza.  Sprinkle with some salt and pepper.   Bake for 10-12min, until the crust is nice and crispy and the egg is barely set (I was going for a runny yolk, but overshot a bit).  Remove from oven, drizzle generously with truffle oil, slice and serve!


I got some black truffle oil as a christmas gift, and it was my first time trying it.  It smelled much stronger than it tasted.  Does anyone know if this always the case?  I expected it to impart a stronger flavor to the dish, but it was happy as a subtle complement to the fresh asparagus.  Have you ever tried asparagus on pizza?

Harmony and Disharmony

Marriage can contain most other kinds of relationships, but when one gets loose: trouble.



Bottoms Up, Musicians!

Previous Wombatgram here [link]

Friday Fluffer - Guess Her Muff

This is what blokes do all the time. Not dream of lesbians, but use our imaginations.

When we see a woman, we try to guess her muff.

NOTE NOTE NOTE NOTE NOTE

This Site has disappeared.

Guess Her Muff. <-----Link

But here's another celebrating women.

Link.

Warning: Nudity and NSFW.

Further Friday Fluffers here [link]



Bottoms Up, Muffins!

Lentils & Healthworks

I've been trying to get better about using the ingredients I already have and these dishes did just that--lentils from the pantry and salmon from the freezer!  Spinach, cheese and some form of onions are also always in my fridge.    While I didn't grow up eating lentils,  every time I make them I tell myself to do it more often.

The first dish came from Cooking with Mr. Latte, which I think would make for nice, light beach reading should you be somewhere like that ;)   Seared salmon over a bed of black beluga lentils in a vinegar-y dressing topped with some crispy shallots...  a delicious meal indeed!

Salmon w/Lentils

The other dish originated at Orangette, but I spied it at The Way the Cookie Crumbles.  I'm so glad I discovered lentils :)  Chewy wheat berries contrasted nicely with the soft caramelized onions and lentils.  Add in some spinach and a little salty feta, and another great meal!

Wheat Berries w/Lentils, Caramelized Onions & Feta

One more thing before I go...  I recently had the pleasure of attending a Healthworks Blogger event!  Maybe you've already read about it?   It was great to meet some new bloggers and put faces to blogs  :)   I must say, Healthworks a pretty awesome gym.  They have a ton of classes (I'm a fan of Bodypump and yoga) and it really feels like I'm in a high-class establishment.  Are you in the Boston area?   Want to try out Healthworks?   You're in luck--  Click here for a 3-day pass to Healthworks!

Selling Yourself.

Similarities between successful selling and successful dating include being proud of the product you're selling. Dating is partially about selling yourself, if only in a passive way. It's about attracting people too - being sold to - so all we daters are partly customers and partly salespeople.

Some folks are quite aggressive with their salesmanship. Whether that means they have greater faith in themselves as a product than someone with a gentler style isn't clear to me. A case could be made for the in-your-face dater as someone with less faith in their ability to attract the special one, or it might just be too much booze.

Pick-Up Artists fall into the over-selling category. The Game is full of characters who push themselves beyond their usual boundaries to attract women. They're studies in overcoming natural disbelief in themselves by overcompensating in the chase. Such effort is exhausting. It stands to reason that the PUA world is full of burned-out cases, with the notable exception of those who make money teaching their particular sales pitch to others.

The other kind of dater is the one who relies less on sales and more on attraction. Traditionally women comprise the largest portion of this category, but that's changing. My most recent successes in the dating department have come because the woman chose me; she pitched me with herself, and gave me the choice. The transaction is more subtle than I'm expressing it here, but the energy direction is accurate.



Bottoms Up, Product Marketers!


Pic from Pining for Nordstrom [link]

Edited for the usual poor quality expression.

Who are you really?

Learning how to sell is largely about listening. A gratifying part of being a better salesman is succeeding in silencing your own voice so you can hear what other people are communicating - what they're really saying.

Here's what I discovered while listening to people talk: we constantly tell everyone who we are. I reckon that within the first twenty sentences, the person you're with will tell you what's on their mind, what they think about that thing, and they will reveal a large measure of who they are.

What I used to do was to prepare my answer or reply way before the other person finished speaking. Before the first few words of each sentence were out of the other person's mouth, I was ready to fire my thoughts back. Conversations like this aren't communication, they're two concurrent monologues.

I remember from a long-ago marketing class that communication has two parts. First is the communication, then there is feedback. Knowing this and holding it in mind changes the dynamics of conversations, especially conversations with a new, possibly datable, person.

That's what I concentrate on now, listening to the woman, and giving great feedback. The unanticipated consequence of this is that very early on, without even thinking about it, I can tell if she's for me or not. It's easier to move on (rather than make a move) if you can see who she really is, rather than who she says she is.



Bottoms Up, Listeners!



Edited for pic, simplicity and clarity.

Pic from here [link]

Rancho Gordo Baked Beans

I think it was around Christmas when I mentioned that I had gotten some dried heirloom beans and a cookbook from Rancho Gordo.   I usually go for the convenience of canned, but one weekend I decided to go ahead and get some Yellow Eye beans soaking.   I totally dropped the ball on photographing these beans, as they were quite lovely.   

(Image Source)

While they were soaking, I decided to try a recipe for baked beans, as I thought they might be a good addition to a bbq.  After soaking, they get cooked for awhile on the stovetop.  While it took awhile for the beans to soften, it was a "get it simmering and leave it while you do other things" kind of time.  Then it was time to meet some onions and sauce overnight in the crockpot.

I followed the recipe straight from the cookbook so I urge you to check it out (I couldn't find it online).   If the way these beans tasted is any indication, I'd totally pick up the cookbook :)   If you're in the market for a baked beans recipe...  shoot me an email.

When I woke up the next morning and went out to the kitchen I seriously contemplating eating them for breakfast.  Instead I packed them up for lunch with an oven-roasted sweet potato (really, it's the only way!) and some cottage cheese (not in the picture).  Absolutely amazing.

I raved about the meal to my friend who gave me the beans, and had her over for dinner the following week.  Of course I had to make more of those baked beans :)  I couldn't get them out of my head!   This time I served the beans over a bed of roasted kale and oven-roasted sweet potatoes.   They were a hit, and I'm thinking I might need to order more yellow-eye beans...

Do you liked baked beans??       Have you ever (or regularly) cooked your beans from scratch??

Love and Lust

Love is a many splendoured thing, lust is not.






Bottoms Up, Lusters!


Wombatgram #2 here.

Friday Fluffer - Homeless Bums

With governments everywhere ruining economies, problems eventually come to our own back yard.

Even attractive young women are finding themselves without a roof over their heads. They resort to selling their clothes for money and living on the beach in their bikinis. Homelessness stalks even the hottie.

So if you see such a homeless bum on the street, take her back to your place. Give her a hot meal and a clean bed. It's the right thing to do.





Bottoms Up!


Photo from my favourite, the OC News [link]

Tip Toe Through the Tulips

It's spring time in Amsterdam and I'm on my way for a week long tour of the city for New York Daily News and Peter Greenberg.

My grandfather was born in Amsterdam so I have a natural curiosity about the city, but I've never been and would appreciate any suggestions about places to go, things to see, coffee shops to hang out in, which canals are the most picturesque and any restaurants to try out.

Thanks.

Passion Consultant

Monday night was my first encounter with a Passion Consultant. This might, at first blush, appear to be a godsend, because life's notably lacking in passion at the moment. Had I been more quick on the uptake, Miss PC could have answered a few queries rattling around my head, but I was more interested in looking down her girlfriend's top.

It's a lost opportunity, but I still have her business card.

The card says to "Call today to get started on your new career as a Passion Consultant."

And why not? I've worked with business consultants, been screwed by tax consultants and had my lawn cut by gardening "consultants". None of these people knew what they were doing, so consulting about passion shouldn't be any different. Defining what consultants do is an imprecise exercise at best, so I can make the job anything I want.

Basically I want my own business cards that say:

Wombat
Passion Consultant.

If I act like I'm an expert, someone's bound to want to try me out. I believe in learning on the job.





Bottoms Up, Amorous Ones!




Pic from the OhMiBod Blog [link]

Cutting Board Review

I recently received the Totally Bamboo Congo Cutting Board to review from CSN stores.  I was quite excited, as I've been using the flexible cutting boards it was well-reviewed by Cooks Illustrated.  It arrived quickly and well packaged, no complaints there.  I loved the look of the cutting board, as well as the weight--enough heft to it without being cumbersome.

Besides its good looks, it also provided a very smooth surface for my chopping!  I really liked the feel of it and can't wait to use it more.  Clean up was quick and easy, too.  My only other thought was that I wish it had some sort of "feet" as it moved around a lot on my marble countertop.  Overall I am very pleased with the product and would recommend it, thank you CSN!!  If you haven't checked out any of their many stores, you should!  They've got tons of stuff for your home and kitchen, and I've had nothing but good, speedy service from them.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!  It was a gorgeous in Boston, and while I didn't get outside as much as I wanted to, I did manage to get out for my first brick (16ish mile bike followed by a 1.5mi run) of the season!  Did you know that this term for these back-to-back workouts actually came from the Pink Floyd song?  I always thought it was from the way your legs feel when you get off the bike and try to run.  Speaking of bricks, I've signed up for a couple of races this season!   I'm hoping to do one or two more, but haven't figured out which ones yet.   I'm especially excited, as I got a recruit :)  Haha, I'm hoping she'll enjoy it as much as I do, since it seems she already caught the racing bug!

Anyone else have any triathlons or other races this summer??

The Secret

Guessing now, but I imagine that men spend a minimum of ten percent of their lives thinking about women. That's 65,700 hours in the average male lifetime completely dedicated to contemplating the be-skirted sex.

And the marital status of the dude doesn't matter. Single guys spend their allocation wondering how to snare one; guys in relationships wonder if she is the one; married fellas have the complicated circumstance of having one bird in the hand and a nest and previous birds in the bush. That's not something about which I can authoritatively speak.

I'm writing a review of a book about a famous American man. Revealing his name would spoil the fun, but the following excerpt, which is a quote from a friend of his, caught my eye. Some truths about women are universal, even if we - all we men - think we know stuff others don't.

Here's how to woo a woman.

"(He) treated romance as a job - not as a conquest, but as a process. The reason that every woman who ever met him fell in love with him - and I've never met one who didn't - is because he put so much effort into it. Any woman who came to (his place) would be wined and dined. (He) would prepare elaborate meals with oysters, chocolate, strawberries, champagne - drugs, if that's what they were into. He had a magical ability to make a woman feel as though she was the only one who ever existed - he actually used to laugh at other men because he knew how good he was."

Aye. Make a woman the centre of your universe...at least while you're together. That's The Secret.



Bottoms Up, Lotharios!


Pic of cheer-leader from a now-defunct blog, so it's pointless providing attribution. I bet she likes an oyster and some champagne.

If You Want a Caipirinha, You Can Travel Down to Rio, or You Can Make One at Home

Please take a look at a photo gallery about Rio I put together for the New York Daily News.  Seeing those photographs again, brings back wonderful memories.

The national drink of Brazil, the caipirinha, has 4 ingredients: cachaça, sugar, limes, and ice. Simple, delicious, and strong. Cachaça is harsher than rum but more flavorful than vodka.

Off and on for three years our older son, Franklin, lived in Brazil. We visited him in Rio where he introduced us to the pleasures of sitting on the Leblon beach, enjoying the incredible view and feasting on "appetizers" sold by vendors who walk up and down the beach.

The variety of delicious treats carried by vendors is amazing. Grilled chicken, saladinhos ("little salty snacks"), cheeses melted on a small brazier, shrimp on skewers, ice cold agua de coco from a freshly opened coconut, and a variety of fruit beyond belief. After you've eaten enough or want a break from watching the parade of beautifully tanned and under-dressed Cariocas (what the natives of Rio are called), a short walk to any of the restaurants and bars that line the beach and a caipirinha is waiting for you.

From now until the end of the Olympics in 2016, the vendors have been banished from the beaches, but you can be certain they'll be back.

Because Brazil has such a bounty of tropical fruits, it was only a matter of time before the caipirinha enjoyed the addition of other flavors. Frank had learned to make variations. Going to a nearby farmers' market, we picked out different fruit to add to the basic ingredients.

Back at his apartment we spent the afternoon working our way through many combinations. What we liked best was adding kiwi fruit and pomegranate seeds, then we experimented with the proportions.

Back home we discovered that cachaça is not easy to find.  Luckily, we tracked down Leblon cachaça so we could make caipirinhas whenever we wanted.

Caipirinha

Yield: 1

Time: 5 minutes

Ingredients

2 ounces cachaça

1 tablespoon superfine sugar

1/2 lime, cut into 8 pieces, mashed in a mortar and pestle

1/2 kiwi, peeled and finely chopped

1 tablespoon pomegranate seeds

ice, cubed or crushed

Method

Pour the cachaça in a 12 ounce glass, add the sugar and stir well. Pour in the lime, kiwi, and pomegranate seeds. Mix and fill the glass with crushed ice. Serve with an espresso spoon so you can eat the kiwi and pomegranate seeds while you sip your caipirinha.

Variations

For the kiwi and pomegranate seeds, substitute just about any tropical or citrus fruit you like

To read other travel posts, please go to:

Real Rio
Rio in the Summer

The Houston Food Scene

Farmers' Markets

Chef Albert Roux's Newest Restaurant Opens in Texas

Saudi Arabia's Neighbor to the East, Doha, Qatar

Briefly in Seattle

A Photo Gallery of Rhode Island

How Rhode Island Has Changed

Rhode Island Travel Gallery, New York Daily News

Renting a Villa with Friends in Sonoma

Sparks, Nevada for the Nugget's Rib Cook-Off, 2009

Who Judges at a Rib Cook-Off? Me!

Friday Fluffer - Instruments of Pleasure

The fight to the bottom afflicts businesses everywhere.

Walmart fights suppliers for a one cent advantage.

Airlines fight customers by charging for everything more than the seat.

Fast food joints sell us ever more food and ever less nutrition.

There is one business that aims for quality and satisfaction by selling us the best - at least in the line it calls 'Instruments of Pleasure'.

It is with great pleasure that I give you Kiki de Montparnasse.

Beautiful things for beautiful times. Quality. Probably NSFW, but only mildly. [link]





Bottoms Up, Pleasure Seekers!


Pic from here [link]

I Can Read Your Mind, Darling.

No I can't, sweetheart, so it would be easier overall if you just told me what you were thinking.

We have such difficulty doing this though, don't we? And when we think we know what we want, something in our head flips and there's another set of stuff we want. Dammit, this affects me at least as badly as everyone else, so I doubt it's a sex-based thing. My suspicion is that desire-drift grows from mental rootlessness - in other words, lack of a spiritual anchor.

There are two problems here:

1. Not knowing what we want.

2. Inability to communicate today's (or any) specific want.

The latter is a limitation of language. At the best granularity, I doubt we ever move beyond 80% efficiency when trying to get our thinking across to another. If the former - the actual meat of what we're looking for from the other person - changes direction like a school of fish, we transmit almost nothing.

Consistency is the answer. I should decide upon what I want, and tell the people who need to know what those things are. After a while, the message will get through.

Or I could find a woman who can read my mind




Bottoms Up, Communicators!

Pic from here.[link]

Cooking for the Palisadian-Post

Michael Aushenker wrote a profile of me recently for the Palisadian-Post.  I like that he talked about my family and my passion for cooking, weaving in my continuing work as a tv producer and writer. He also highlights my writing on the Traveling Mom website, which describes my obsession with how many dishes you can create from one chicken and a few roasted vegetables!

Little Black Book

Before hookups, sexting and booty calls, the discreet man with an argument in his trousers turned to a simple piece of hardware known as the Little Black Book.

The Little Black Book is terrifically James Bond in the Sean Connery-as-James Bond way. Other Connery-style Bond icons are unprotected sex, unemotional one-night stands, rampant chest hair, sexually aggressive women double-agents, martinis, champagne, neckties and Walther PPKs.

Sigh. They were the days.

We're all clear that the LBB contained the phone numbers of one's sexual partners aren't we - past, present, prospective and possible lovers? That was the point, the ability to contact women who might be up for a little slap and tickle at short notice.

The other reason to keep a LBB was to find a possible date for a buddy. The unrecognized value of keeping the details of exes is not just that they might be interested in a fling for old times' sake, but that you know their track record. Mates look after mates in many ways.

Of course, the Law of Unexpected Consequences applies here too. When comparing LBBs, finding that you have one (or more) of the same names as your buddy raises questions best left unanswered.


Bottoms Up, 007s!




LBB from here [link]

Sensational Sides

I meant to tell you about some more great eats before heading out of town for the weekend, but ran out of time!  Seems like the story of my life these days :)   I brought these two sides/salads to a party and didn't have anything to take home, so I'm guessing they were a hit!  While they both had "salad" in the name, they seemed more like "sides" to me, so that's where you'll find them in my recipe file.  I love throwing warm roasted veggies and grains in my salads, so apparently I don't know where to draw the line!

The first was Deb's Roasted Carrot and Avocado Salad.  I thought the marriage was a unique one, but really liked the interplay of the smooth avocado flesh with the firm-yet-yielding roasted carrots.  Hmm, yeah...  there's not really a "better" way to say that :)

Another winner from Ricki, the Warm Chickpea & Artichoke Salad utilized two things I already had in my pantry, so that made it even easier!  I could've easily eaten this as a meal, and will likely be making it for myself again soon.

Have you had any "non-traditional" salads lately?

Friends With Benefits

Her: I thought you wanted to be my boyfriend?

Wombat: I do.

Her: When?

Wombat: Not right now.


Expectations kill relationships. They're the rocks that wreck super-tankers and sailing boats alike. No relationship is safe from them, and no chart shows them all. GPS works perfectly most of the time, but without knowledge of where not to go, metre-accuracy will only tell you precisely where you ran aground.

The ocean called "Friends With Benefits" is one with an unusually jagged coastline. As enticing as the concept appears, I fear most of us compartmentalize the 'friends' and the 'benefits' as if they can be. Like a watercolour Venn Diagram in the rain, those two can only bleed into each other with potentially messy results. Art is rarely the outcome.

Doc30ty highlights my point in her post. [link] Her male FWB half clearly didn't include exclusivity in his mental image of FWB. His thinking was more Benefits with a Friend, dare I say an expectation at variance with that of our beloved Doc30ty.

There are three ways to find a FWB relationship:

Friends first -> add benefits.

Simultaneous creation of friendship including benefits.

Beneficiaries first -> add friendship.

Is one way better than another? That's not for me to decide. What experience tells me is that my expectations will differ from my lady friend's, and the problem with that is that we both think there won't be any complications arising therefrom.

This is the temptation of the FWB deal: the simplicity of it appeals mightily, but it's impossible for any of us to not expect stuff beyond the raw acronym. We set sail in light winds and smooth seas but wake that night to the sound of crashing waves on gnarly rocks.



Bottoms Up, Landlubbers!



Diagram from here [link]

Edited for tense and incorrect plurals, as well as overuse of 'variance' - the usual thesaurus of Wombat idiocies.

Friday Fluffer - Freedom of Speech

Pussy Power might work on heterosexual men, but the 'tween legs dynamo does not influence the majesty of the law.

Jennifer LaPenta wore her I Have the Pussy, So I Make the Rules tee in the gallery during her friend's court hearing. The Judge was not amused - and Jennifer was cited for contempt.

She left the court in cuffs with a 48 hour sentence to serve. Unfortunately for Jen, this was not an elaborate submission game, and the man who led her away was not taking her to his dungeon for some fun.

The Smoking Gun has the story and the pics. [link]



Bottoms Up, New Inmates!

Bed-In

Inspired by John and Yoko, I plan to conduct a Bed-In sometime soon. Maybe this weekend.

What's a Bed-In, I hear you ask?[link]

Well, Grasshoppah, a Bed-In is a protest conducted entirely from one's bed. It's a kind of supine sit-in, designed to create maximum media coverage without lifting a finger.

Lennon and Ono's protest concerned world peace. It's natural for anyone to think that keeping horizontal and ordering room-service could momentously change the momentum of human history. Natural for self-absorbed dicks like John Lennon, anyway.

But I like his thinking. Why create sweaty Million Man Marches or immense stinking charity concerts when all one need do to attract media attention is to check into a hotel and jump into the fart-sack?

Two things missing from this weekend's Wombat Bed-In. Actually, three.

1. A cause.

2. My own Celebrity.

3. A woman with whom to share the Bed-In (mandatory.)

If I could find a famous woman with a cause looking for publicity, I would have the answer, and quite possibly a tax deduction.





Bottoms Up, Bedriders!

Pic of Dumb and Dumber from here [link]

A Sweet & Sassy Sandwich

May?  Already?  It appears time has gotten away from me again, but there's so much to do before I leave for my trip to Italy next month!   Awhile back I went to a wine tasting where they also had a cheese table.  One of their samples was a cheddar with apple and pickled green tomatoes.   Odd, but I really enjoyed it and inquired more.  Turns out the pairing was based on a sandwich from City Feed, which I had to recreate myself :)

When I found pickled green at Marshall's Fenway Farmstand, I knew it was time!  I tried one of tomatoes right from the jar, and boy were they tart :)  The sandwich has such a unique combination of flavors, with the sweetness from the cheddar/apple and bite from both the pickled green tomatoes and dijon mustard.  Different, but delicious, and if you'd like to kick it up a notch I implore you to give it a try!

Cheddar, Apple & Pickled Green Tomato Sandwich
Yield:  2 sandwiches

a grainy baguette, or 4 slices of a whole wheat bread
dijon/mayo blend (2T of a grainy dijon with 1T olive oil mayo)
red leaf lettuce
pickled green tomatoes
1 granny smith, peeled and sliced (I only peeled it for ease of eating)
2-3oz cheddar (I used Dubliner)

To assemble, spread half of the dijon/mayo blend on one half of the sandwich.  Shred or slice on the other slice of bread.  On top of the cheese, add apple slices then pickled green tomatoes.  Top with lettuce, then the other slice of bread (the one with dijon).   Toast the sandwich (either in the toaster oven or on the stove) to get the cheese warmed/melty, then dig in!

Cut Fruit

Apart from driving my car, yesterday's most dangerous time was the thirty minutes I spent eating a bowl of cut fruit from the supermarket. Once those nice people with the hair-nets break the seal on rind fruits, it's an invitation to ne'er do well bacteria. The California Canteloupe Advisory Board is clear on this; "melons should be washed before being opened or cut to remove any traces of bacteria which may have adhered to the rind."

Cut fruit bowls are expensive. The economical way of obtaining the sweet pleasures of nature is to buy whole fruit and wield the knife yourself. Then place the self-cut fruit in a bowl. This plan never works. Uncut fruit suffers from Whole Fruit Inertia, which is to say that it remains in its current state forever ie: whole, uncut, and motionless in the crisper compartment until it rots.

Deception plays a big role in the cut fruit department. Look at the refrigerator cabinet and the bowls have interesting stuff on top. Strawberry halves, ripe grapes, nice pineapple pieces, mango in season, slices of kiwi-fruit, juicy watermelon - these are the temptations to get you to buy. Once you're through that layer of delight, you realize you've been duped, again. Underneath the flavoursome hotties of the fruit world lies a huge core of blandness. Large unkempt chunks of honeydew and canteloupe are all that's left, but you plow on through that stuff vaguely resentful that even life's simple pleasures are a rip-off.

Today is a new day. Today is the day I'll walk into the supermarket and choose the cut fruit bowl that's laced with delicious fruit pieces all the way through. And those pussies at the Canteloupe Board be damned! If I'm contracting a food-borne illness, let it be in pursuit of my fantasy fruit.




Bottoms Up, Thrillseekers.



Miss Melons from here [link]

A Trip to New York and a Culinary Discovery: A Perfect Spring Salad of Black Kale, Kabocha Squash, Cheddar Cheese, and Almonds

Going to New York is always a treat.  Like everyone else, I love walking around the city.  A leisurely stroll through Central Park when the flowering trees are in bloom is one of life's great pleasures.

A visit to a museum is also a must. This trip we went to MOMA, where special exhibits by Marina Abramovic and William Kentridge were causing a stir, especially Abramovic's use of nudes as an element of her performance pieces.  For myself, I never tire of the permanent collection with its iconic works by Van Gogh and Matisse, among other masters.

Since I'm not in the city as often as I'd like, I look forward to visiting my favorite places to eat: Gray's Papaya (Broadway at 72nd) for the $4.45 Recession Special (2 hot dogs with everything and a medium Pina Colada), Piada (3 Clinton Street below Houston) for a panini and espresso, and the salt and pepper shrimp at Nha Trang One (87 Baxter Street below Canal).

A friend who is an expert on the food scene, highly recommended several dishes, especially a salad, at a new restaurant in the East Village called Northern Spy (511 East 12th Street between Ave. A & B, 212/228-5100).

The unassuming space has a country feel that immediately makes you feel at home. Locally sourced produce and meats are put to good use in refreshingly simple and inventive ways.

Meat eaters will be in pig heaven--literally--with Chef Nathan Foot's pork terrine with homemade pickled carrots and celery root, pork shoulder meatballs in tomato sauce, and a special of crispy pork belly and potato hash and wild arugula.  Classically trained, Chef Foot described the inspiration for the menu, which changes seasonally, as "being the kind of food I'd feed to my chef friends."

Affordably priced (most dishes are $10-15), the menu also has plenty for vegetarians.  Risotto with butternut squash and mascarpone (Freekeh Risoto), a Farmers' Salad with a collection of root vegetables,  several soups including navy bean and chilled celery root, five dollar sides of quinoa, wild rice (with feta, mint, and lemon), runner beans, collard greens, and roasted potatoes, polenta with braised greens and roasted mushrooms, and, the dish my friend had enthusiastically recommended, the kale salad.

I use kale frequently but never in a salad because I've always thought the stiff leaves needed to be sauteed or braised.  At Northern Spy, kale is presented as nature intended--raw.  Julienned, the kale presents a good base of support for the contrasting qualities of sharp, creamy cheddar, sweet, yielding kabocha, and crispy almonds. Finished with a lemon vinaigrette, the salad is refreshingly light with a hint of sweetness.

I experimented at home and discovered that the salad is easy to make.  I made a few changes in my version, which was delicious, but all the credit goes to Chef Foot.

A Spring Salad of Black Kale, Kabocha Squash, Cheddar Cheese, and Almonds

Time: 45 minutes

Yield: 4 servings

Ingredients

1 small kabocha squash, about 2 pounds
1 bunch black or Tuscan kale, washed, stems removed, julienned
1 cup cheddar, a good quality English or Irish cheddar, cut into 1/2" squares
1 tablespoon whole almonds, roasted unsalted, roughly chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
Sea salt and pepper

Method

Cut the squash into quarters, scrape out the seeds and fibers on the inside. Place in a steamer.  Add 2 cups of water to the pot.  Cover and cook on high heat for 5-10 minutes until cooked but still firm, remove, and let cool. Remove the skin and discard.

You will need a cup of cooked squash.  Reserve the left over portion to use in a soup or as a side dish with a grilled meat. Cut the cooked squash into 1/2" squares.

In a small saucepan, reduce the balsamic vinegar to 1 tablespoon. Set aside to cool.

Place the julienned kale on the bottom of a serving bowl, sprinkle the squash, cheddar, and almonds over the top and dress with olive oil, reduced balsamic vinegar, and season with sea salt and pepper.

Variations

Chef Foot sprinkles freshly grated pecorino romano on top of the salad

Add 1/4 cup thinly sliced red onion rings to the salad

Brodeo

I pretty much gave up on my regular Friday bar on Friday. A long day labouring for money gives a bloke a thirst, and when booze alone can't release the animal spirits, the potential for finding women will tip the balance. Still dripping with Working Stiff cologne, I made Happy Hour with a minute to spare.

It's a hamster-wheel life, single maledom. It's one in which we are handily practiced at dismembering women with a head-to-toe glance. (That's a metaphoric dismemberment, but no less vicious for it.) She's either a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down, after which comes the calculation of whether she'd have an interest in a chap with twelve-hour-shift hair. Looks like another hundred scampers around the wheel when she sashays to the guy with the Bentley key fob.

Mr Nights, my drinking companion, looked kinda peeved. He'd been sipping tequila for an hour, and peevishness is a common-enough side-effect. But in this case it was the lack of women in the bar that had gotten to him.

It's a brodeo here, he said, despondent.

And he was right. Over his left and right shoulders was a herd of men, rather like beasts at a waterhole. In nature, a regular mix of sexes would naturally gather at the cool corner of the bar - which I think was the reason Mr Nights was off-balance. Absence of females felt all artificial and dysfunctional. The livestock references aren't accurate either. All showered and shaved and Alpha-ed up, the guys looked as useless as show-dogs. Bulls never looked so pouffed.

The good news is that even if one is stuck hamster-wheeling through life, it's possible to have more than one hamster wheel.



Bottoms Up, rodents!