Friday Fluffer - Cowboys like Cowgirls

Coworkers are more likely to end up with each other, so it's no surprise that love blooms between the chaps. Cowboys and cowgirls too are getting it on all over the place, although it's likely most of them have never roped anything more than soap. City Cowpersons in Honda Civics outnumber Horseborne Cowpersons approx. 1000 to 1.

Country music (in the form of Big & Rich) supplied a public service announcement against animal cruelty with their tune "Save a Horse [Ride a Cowboy]." Seemingly obvious advice, but wait until you've been on a month-long cattle drive - Trigger will begin to look mighty attractive, if a somewhat sloppy kisser.

For the horseless Urban Cowboy out there who likes his morning latte, THIS coffee store is for you.

Cowgirl Espresso :-) <-----Link Safe For Work




Bottoms Up, Cowpats!

Interested in Cowgirl Yoga? That's where the picture's from [link]

Friday Fluffer - Viking Girls

When viking men were off crossing oceans for an afternoon's pillaging, what were the lady vikings up to?

The viking life would be one of sad farewells and glad reunions...perhaps.

Maybe the viking dames were happy to see their men sail over the horizon and not have big boofy blokes about the place with their fishy breath and horny helmets.

And what would dating a vikingette be like? Something like this I guess. Safe For Work.



It's not just me. The world loves Viking womanflesh.

Bottoms Up, Norsemen!

Friday Fluffer - Is She Filthy?

Sitting in a car at a crosswalk with a buddy, a hottie sashayed in front of us. We followed her progress across the road in unison, drinking in every curve.

I innocently wondered out loud whether she performed a particularly sordid sexual act.

"My friend," my friend replied in measured voice, "they all get their freak on. The only question is whether it's with you."



View all Friday Fluffers here [link]




Bottoms Up, Dirty Girls!




Filthy bitch from here [link]

Friday Fluffer - Homeless Bums

With governments everywhere ruining economies, problems eventually come to our own back yard.

Even attractive young women are finding themselves without a roof over their heads. They resort to selling their clothes for money and living on the beach in their bikinis. Homelessness stalks even the hottie.

So if you see such a homeless bum on the street, take her back to your place. Give her a hot meal and a clean bed. It's the right thing to do.





Bottoms Up!


Photo from my favourite, the OC News [link]

Friday Fluffer - Instruments of Pleasure

The fight to the bottom afflicts businesses everywhere.

Walmart fights suppliers for a one cent advantage.

Airlines fight customers by charging for everything more than the seat.

Fast food joints sell us ever more food and ever less nutrition.

There is one business that aims for quality and satisfaction by selling us the best - at least in the line it calls 'Instruments of Pleasure'.

It is with great pleasure that I give you Kiki de Montparnasse.

Beautiful things for beautiful times. Quality. Probably NSFW, but only mildly. [link]





Bottoms Up, Pleasure Seekers!


Pic from here [link]

Friday Fluffer - Freedom of Speech

Pussy Power might work on heterosexual men, but the 'tween legs dynamo does not influence the majesty of the law.

Jennifer LaPenta wore her I Have the Pussy, So I Make the Rules tee in the gallery during her friend's court hearing. The Judge was not amused - and Jennifer was cited for contempt.

She left the court in cuffs with a 48 hour sentence to serve. Unfortunately for Jen, this was not an elaborate submission game, and the man who led her away was not taking her to his dungeon for some fun.

The Smoking Gun has the story and the pics. [link]



Bottoms Up, New Inmates!

Friday Fluffer - Soy Jism

Local television news rocks. If it weren't for the FCC these shows would instantly turn porno. My fellow Aussie, Mr Murdoch, employed NYC hottie Rosanna Scotto with this in mind. Cocks and cum are on her mind. Good girl.

You will not regret reading and watching this Gothamist SFW [link].

Or watch here if you're inclined.





Bottoms Up, Vegans!




Pic of Rosanna covered in white from here [link]

Friday Fluffer - Gubernatorial Fluffer

Testament to Kiss & Blog's growing reach is our latest sponsorship; the Governor of California.

Here is the Austrian Adonis talking about his time as a Fluffer [link]

Always on the lookout for a good fluffer story, the twenty bucks I sent to Sacramento for undisclosed 'concessions' looks like it bore fruit. The Golden State, is, after all, irretrievably fucked, and sponsorship by even minor entities like yours truly will please their creditors.

Funny to think my Jackson has already been snaffled up by CA's new owner - the Chicoms.




Bottoms Up, Golden Staters!

Friday Fluffer - Curling at the Winter Olympics

Summer Olympics have Beach Volleyball.

Winter Olympics have Women's Curling.

Enough said except to emphasize how hot the Canadian Women's Curling Team is. Pictured is Cheryl Bernard, resident of Calgary and the uberMilf of Curling.

I imagine Curling Training Camp consists of touching up one's Frenched Nails, shopping for body-hugging yoga pants and chardonnay lunch with salad.

If you think this is criticism, you're wrong.



Pic from here [link]

What I wanted to write was how I spent an hour and a half and two glasses of cabernet mesmerized by the entire sexy-mumsy nature of curling. Why is this spectacle of ripe women on their knees on ice not more widely lauded? But I didn't want to appear trivial.

From the Wikipedia entry on Cheryl:
Recently, Bernard was nicknamed "The Curlgar" by American sportswriter Bill Simmons.[link]
Good enough for me.

Friday Fluffer - Maximum Fluff

A mate recently gave me a used copy of Maxim, the lads' mag that bills itself as "The Ultimate Guys' Guide".

Remarkably, I swear that this edition was exactly - exactly - the same as the last one I read, more than ten years ago. All the same articles were there, from hangover cures to the photo-folios of unknown F-List girls. Beer ads. Condom ads. Jolly jottings on television, dates and how to dress well without being called "gay" rounded out the rest.

Ironic then that the first pop-up ad to appear when I visited their website was for eHarmony. Yep. Maxim. Fluff for men who daydream of fluffers but would be happy settling down with a nice girl. Like Sarah, above.


Edit: Media are a mystery, but recent correspondence makes me wonder why mags like Maxim don't embrace this wondrous internet thing, if only to tell me that I'm a douche. Why don't these morons know that I'm panning their loss-making arses? And why not make friends of like-minded or anti-but-sympathetic writers?


More fluffers here. [link]

Photo of Sarah Silverman pointing at her best asset courtesy of her PR flacks.

Friday Fluffer - The Streets of San Francisco

If you're a kid like I was living in a suburb of a provincial Australian city, everything from anywhere else is glamorous.

If television is your window to the world, glamorous shows kidnap your imagination. There was no more compelling show than The Streets of San Francisco. That theme music still gives me shivers.

My infatuation with all things United States can be traced back to Friday nights with Karl and Mike. This ep has the longest list of co-stars in history. I still love this shit.

Fluffer Friday - The Tango

Today I honour Ferdinand Magellan and all matters South American. On this day in 1520 (that's 489 years ago) Ferdy with his three ships successfully navigated the dangerous waters that separate the Atlantic and the Pacific.

Upon realizing they were the first Europeans to find such a watery path, the crews immediately starting dancing a step that was eventually to overtake South America. Originally known as "The Magellan" it came to be known as "Tango", especially when the crew found women when on shore leave.*

So for Fluffer Friday I give you street dancing in Argentina. Sheesh, it's no wonder the economies down there are always in the tank - why work when you can do this?



*Not all statements herein are facts.

**Note to self: learn to Tango. Chicks must dig this stuff.




Illustration from here. [link]

Fluffer Friday - The Crochet Bikini

Crochet bikinis - crochet anything, really - send a mixed message. On one hand, there's the loose-weave lewdness of sweet lady-parts so covered.

On the other is the 'my mother made this and sells them at the local craft fair' stigma. Not so sexy.

I guess it's not a mystery why our beaches aren't awash with multi-coloured unravelling wool 'kinis.

And here is Friday's Fluffer photo - safe for work. [Link]

Friday Fluffer - Rock Her World

One advantage of writing a blog vaguely about sex is that people send me interesting things. Like this book. I quote from the back-cover blurb:

"...women were asking me how they could get their men to be better lovers. It didn't take me long to figure out that 2+2=69 and that there was a need for a book like this."

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, porn arithmetic.

Review follows.

Fluffer Friday

One advantage of childlessness is that my daughter will never announce:

Dad! I got a job today! I'm a fluffer!

OMG [link]

What would a father say? Does the job offer benefits?