I want to clear up a piece of folklore about blokes and their sexual appetites.
The shorthand way of looking at guys is that we're ready to down trou and have at it with any woman at any time. We're always thinking about sex, spend our waking hours daydreaming of naked women, and, in the absence of a willing partner, avoid masturbating 24/7 only because we need to hold down jobs and occasionally drink beer.
That's a caricature, but I suspect one with more veracity than is good for us.
In the abstract sense all of the above can be true, but it depends on what else occupies our brain. We guys are simple in the way we think. If there's a beautiful woman in front of us, we'll think about her. If there's a complicated piece of software to fix, or a business to run, that's where our attention goes. At those times - when occupied with the non-sex world - we're not sex obsessed. However, the trigger to swap *thinking* spreadsheets for *thinking* sport between the sheets activates with a small amount of pressure.
We're cocked, but not loaded, most of the time.
By way of precision, we need to understand here that we're talking about standard-issue males; men without hormonal, pneumatic, mental or physical blights that will prevent them attaining and/or maintaining an erection. These poor fellows exist, and we wish them nothing but a swift (and rigid) recovery.
However, even normal functioning men will pass on sex. It might be sex with their wives or even the nympho beauty who just happens to have dropped into our lap. Other stuff will get into our heads, for instance:
~ if we smell psychological problems with that girl who shows a sudden unwarranted interest
~ if the (not wife or g/f's) ardor doesn't add up for whatever reason
~ if there are unresolved points of tension with a wife or girlfriend
~ if we have some other overwhelming life problem going on
~ if we feel the woman has some other motive
~ if we feel the wife or girlfriend isn't entirely on our side
Important here is that these caveats only work when sober. After a few brews the defence mechanisms honed to look for these points of wariness disappear. Many a relationship begun when drunk is painfully dissolved in the company of a good hangover. A long, throbbing hangover.
Finally, a happy thought. How a woman presents to a man is important. If your wife or girlfriend puts their arm around you, and tells you how wonderful you are, and how they are lucky to have you as part of their life, almost all guys will be tremendously reassured. Remember, above all else men seek validation and approval from their woman. From that stems love and great sex.
Ladies: How easy is that?
Bottoms Up, Thinkers.
