The Individual's Truth of Infinite Possibility

There's no better way to overpower a trickle of doubt than with a flood of truth. 

Francis Underwood, House of Cards.

It's part of the fun of living in an imperfect universe - no-one will ever know exactly who you are. If you asked all the people who have ever met you to describe you, you'd receive a different version from each of them. We can think of this as the Infinite Me theory. If perception is reality, there are as many 'mes' as there are other people; for all practical purposes that's an infinite number, especially if you count life forms we've yet to meet from other planets.

Speaking of which, I note Michael Douglas in the news earlier in the week. Michael is from Planet Hollywood, a glittering disco-ball of well-lit gas way out there on the left side of the galaxy. He is what passes for royalty there, which means he's a second generation meat puppet.

It seems Mr D has revealed that his recent bout of throat cancer was as a result of sapphic overindulgence, a plethora of pussy in other words. Pussy-eating, to be accurate, because it seems the human pappilomavirus, passed orally, was to blame. Allegedly to blame. Now, given that Michael's been married to Welsh bomb Catherine Zeta-Jones for quite some time, one wonders just what's occurring here. Especially after she was declared "...HPV-free...".

I'm not interested in underestimating the importance of understanding the link between anything and cunnilingus. In good health and in poor, knowledge is power. And given Mr Muff-Muncher's sway with the media, we're all more informed about the dangers of HPV. That's a good thing. And yet. And yet there's something grimy about a bloke who smoke, drank, snorted, licked and fucked his way around the universe for decades revealing that his ill-health was from a single simple pleasure.

Floods of truth, it seems, come with fast-moving tongues.




Bottoms Up, From High Between Her Thighs.

What's Your Number?

Anna Faris pic credit.

Dating movies never cut it with me. Except that THIS one looks more like it.

The premise comes straight from the single thirty-something woman's field of screams - that having more than twenty past lovers makes you statistically unmarriage-able. Or more accurately, unable to find the love of one's life.

Sounds like bollox to me.

Then again, it might be the best date-night movie in a long time.





And the big Hollywood promo looks pretty funny too.





Bottoms Up, Lookers and Doubters.

Zombies Can be Gay, Right?

The meager circumstances of my life might be about to change. Blogging don't pay much y'all (as they say here in the South) so I've been busily diverting my creative goo into a screenplay. It's more of a treatment, in truth, which is what I might really be needing once it's made into a movie. Called "When Worlds Collide", I've cleverly weaved a number of popular themes into one.

The covering letter (39 networks, publishers and agents so far) in part reads like this:

When Worlds Collide is a funny and heartwarming story of two zombies. Zach and Augustus are two gay zombies recently fallen in love. With TriBeCa as the backdrop, they move into a cute loft to start their lives together eating brains and doing what zombies do. But there's a hole in their life. They want a family. So, given their keen sense of community, they do what any other gay zombie family would do - they adopt! In their case, a gorgeous little Venezuelan girl, orphaned at birth. WWC follows their antics learning how to raise a normal human baby in the midst of zombie mayhem. It's a triumph of the un-dead spirit!

Yes, it's a niche tale, but it has 'Indy cult film finds mainstream audience and fame for the writer' written all over its gorgeous derriere. See you at Cannes.




Bottoms Up, Zombie Lovers.

Stop/Start

Barbara Bach from Celebs101

Your experience is different, I am certain, but let me tell you about mine. Far from the seamless process presented by porn - and, often, Hollywood - it's messy getting from here to orgasm with a chick. Disjointed. Stop and start, if you like. More like being in Friday night traffic than anything else, sometimes speeding along, sometimes going nowhere.

For a bloke raised on images of Roger Moore as James Bond, ideal sex consists mostly of glib bon mots, double entendres and beautiful women just waiting to be bonked. These women aren't simply willing partners; they're often mute, mostly dressed in haute couture and there TO be fucked.

Movieland seduction is about being the leading man in the presence of a woman. Then it happens. Okay, there's a lull in the action and PHHHwaaarRRRRR, here comes Barbara Bach.

THEN they shag.

From this, it's no wonder we get Austin Powers. The premise is laughable.



Bottoms Up, Bondistas.

Bed-In

Inspired by John and Yoko, I plan to conduct a Bed-In sometime soon. Maybe this weekend.

What's a Bed-In, I hear you ask?[link]

Well, Grasshoppah, a Bed-In is a protest conducted entirely from one's bed. It's a kind of supine sit-in, designed to create maximum media coverage without lifting a finger.

Lennon and Ono's protest concerned world peace. It's natural for anyone to think that keeping horizontal and ordering room-service could momentously change the momentum of human history. Natural for self-absorbed dicks like John Lennon, anyway.

But I like his thinking. Why create sweaty Million Man Marches or immense stinking charity concerts when all one need do to attract media attention is to check into a hotel and jump into the fart-sack?

Two things missing from this weekend's Wombat Bed-In. Actually, three.

1. A cause.

2. My own Celebrity.

3. A woman with whom to share the Bed-In (mandatory.)

If I could find a famous woman with a cause looking for publicity, I would have the answer, and quite possibly a tax deduction.





Bottoms Up, Bedriders!

Pic of Dumb and Dumber from here [link]

Stereotypical until you're not.

Characterizing people by way of a generalization works like any generalization - it must be accompanied by the rider that it is being used to communicate a big idea, and that individual cases will almost always vary. If you know anything about quantum mechanics, you'll see the connection here. In general, we know what an electron is doing, but we can only specifically nail down one of its two properties. We know either its momentum or its position, but not both.

It might be stretching matters to equate (perceived) human characteristics with quantum effects but it forces us to see a couple of points.

One, that language is important but imperfect.

Two, that language isn't what's real, it is merely a one dimensional snapshot of either a specific or a general idea.

So, what's this got to do with stereotypes? Well, they're useful, for a start. We all know what we mean when I refer to someone as a 'Jock'. But there will be considerable variation between each of the individual cases we conjur in our brains. (Many of us will be relying on the media here, specifically Hollywood, as a Jock is a peculiarly American case.) The Hollywood reference is important, because only in movies does the perfect Jock exist. In the real world, he's a mix of many different characteristics.

Stereotypes are valuable as long as we understand they work despite possibly having no examples actually existing. Our brains are agile enough to get that, in my opinion, because we recognize that matter is infinitely more complex than language, but that language is essential for communicating the complex.

Loteria! Grill Hollywood

Growing up in LA, you eat a lot of Mexican food. For the most part the standard fare of tacos, enchiladas, burritos, tostadas, toquitos, and quesadillas are enjoyable but not always memorable.

Once in awhile there's a standout. When I first ate at the Loteria! Grill, the mole was a revelation.

Just about everyone we know has eaten at the original Loteria! Grill at the Farmers Market. Located in the geographic center of the Market, there is always a line waiting to order. The lunch time crowd tends to be tourists and people who work in the area. At night families have dinner before they go to the multiplex at the Grove.

For Jimmy Shaw, the chef-owner, Loteria! Grill is a passion project. Born into a family of cooks, trained by his mother in their Mexico City home, Jimmy opened the Grill because so many of his friends missed the taste of authentic Mexican food. An instant success, the Farmers' Market Loteria! Grill was the talk of LA.

Looking to the east Jimmy has opened Loteria! Grill Hollywood, a restaurant-bar in the heart of Hollywood (6627 Hollywood Boulevard, Hollywood 90028, 323/465-2500) next door to Geisha House.

With an open space and high ceiling, the interior has the feeling of a modern cantina. Jimmy held onto the favorites from the Farmers' Market menu: his incomparable mole sauce, the comforting tortilla soup, the perfectly seasoned black beans...

There are so many great dishes, a first-timer can get an overview by circumnavigating the menu with the Probaditas Sampler and its dozen mini tacos on hand-made tortillas. Sit at the bar, order an ice cold margarita, and you'll be happy for the rest of the evening.

We were part of a lucky group invited to a preview dinner. Served practically every dish on the menu, our favorites were the Mole Poblano con Pollo (of course), the Sopa de Tortilla (ditto), the Champinones con Epazote (mushrooms with Eeazote), the Albondigas En Chipotle (meatballs in a tomato and chipolte Sauce), the Enchiladas de Mole (with chicken), the Summer Salad, the Guacamole y Chips, the Aguas Frescas (watermelon, lemonade, horchata)... I'm probably giving away the fact that we enjoyed every dish.

Jimmy was so generous in letting us sample the menu that we found ourselves with food to spare. Not one to waste food I braved the embarrassment of carrying out to-go containers and took home some of the Carnitas en salsa Morita (pork in a spicy sauce), the black beans, and rice. The next day I was happy to have such terrific ingredients and made a delicious soup. Our friends Ron and Annette came over for our weekly Sunday dinner and we served the soup as the main course. We raised our glasses to toast Jimmy Shaw, to thank his mother for teaching him how to cook, and to our returning to Loteria! Grill Hollywood.

Black Beans, Farmers' Market Vegetables, and Spicy Pork Soup

Yield: 4 servings

Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients

1 cup cooked black beans
1 cup cooked pork
1 small onion, washed, peeled, finely chopped
1 slice of bacon, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, peeled, finely chopped
1 ear of corn, washed, kernels cut off the cob
1 carrot, washed, peeled, finely chopped
1/2 cup Italian parsley, washed, leaves only, finely chopped
4 cups chicken stock, preferably homemade
1 cup cooked rice
Olive oil
Pepper

Method

In a large sauce pan sauté the onions, garlic, bacon, corn, carrots, and parsley in the olive oil until lightly browned. Shred the meat and add to the sauté. If you are using pork, chicken, or beef that is already seasoned, then you may not need to add any heat. Taste and add Tabasco or taco sauce as needed.

Add the black beans and chicken stock. Simmer for 30 minutes. Just before serving reheat the rice in a microwave oven. Put 1/4 cup of rice in the bottom of each soup bowl, then ladle in the hot soup.

Variations

For a vegetarian version, don't use the meat, bacon, or chicken stock (use 4 cups water + 1 tablespoon butter instead).

Use cilantro instead of Italian parsley

Substitute cooked chicken or beef for the pork

Add 3 cups of spinach leaves (washed, stems removed, roughly chopped) to the sauté

Add 1 cup chopped raw shrimp (washed, deveined) to the sauté

Add 1 cup grilled sausage rounds

Top with homemade croutons and shredded cheddar cheese when serving