A Light and Cool Summer Dessert: Raspberry Custard

My favorite cold weather desserts need to be sweet and full of flavor. When it's cold and rainy outside, nothing is better than a slice of flourless chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream or a bowl of hot apple cobbler and a spoonful of heavy cream. Rich and sweet or hot and sweet, yumm.

In summer, heaviness is out of place. My preferred dessert is beautifully ripe fruit from our local farmers' market: a bowl of ripe berries, a slice of ice cold watermelon or cantaloupe, a ripe pluot, peach, or nectarine.

When I want a more elaborate dessert, I supplement fresh fruit with custard.

Custard is easy to make, requiring only grade-school math: 2 (eggs) + 1 (cup cream) + 1/2 (cup sugar). Poured in a buttered pan, baked in a water bath. In and out of a 350 degree oven in an hour. Simple, easy, and delicious.

Then I had a thought.

Why not separate the eggs and get a souffle-effect by beating the whites? With a bit of experimentation, I discovered the souffle needed more support, so I adjusted the proportions by adding a third egg. To lighten the flavor and lower the calories, instead of using all cream, I split the difference with a 50-50 mixture of cream and plain yogurt. If you can find Greek yogurt, all the better, for its sour-edge.

Just for the record, I tried using all yogurt and it wasn't creamy enough for my taste.

Cream and Yogurt Custard with Fresh Raspberries

Yield: 4-6 servings

Time: 15 minutes to prepare, 75 minutes to bake

Ingredients

3 eggs, separated
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup plain yogurt, preferably Greek
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon grated lemon peel, finely chopped
1 basket raspberries, washed, dried
1 teaspoon sweet butter, melted

Method

With the melted butter, paint an 8" or 9" ovenproof bowl to prevent sticking. Put the whites into a mixer with 1 teaspoon of the sugar. Beat until the whites peak, 3-5 minutes. Set aside.

Beat together the yolks and the remaining sugar until well-blended. Add the vanilla, yogurt, cream, and lemon peel. Mix well. Carefully fold in the whites, then the fresh raspberries.

Pour into the ovenproof bowl, place into a water bath with 2" of water, put in a preheated 350 degree oven.

After 30 minutes, rotate the bowl for even cooking and place an aluminum foil tent over the top to prevent burning. Be sure that the "tent" peaks above the surface of the bowl, otherwise as the souffle top rises, it will stick to the foil.

You'll know the custard is set when rotating the bowl, the custard moves only a little bit. Remove from the oven and let cool.

For lunch, serve cold from the refrigerator. For dinner, it is better at room temperature. Dust with powdered sugar just before serving.

Variations

Instead of raspberries, use any berry.

Top with whipped cream instead of powdered sugar.

Top with a caramelized nut: chopped walnuts, almonds, hazelnuts

Romancing

This romance thing is a remarkably slippery beastie. There are dictionary definitions and internet-style descriptions, but none really captures the essence of what might turn out to be a rather abstract abstract concept.

Food metaphors are always good when contemplating matters of the heart don't you think? Food is physical and mental, and heavenly and hellish, just like love. So the immediate connection I made was that romance is like truffles. Truffles are rare, rich, expensive, laboursome and worth every cent. They're stinky (yet delicious) addictive (yet satisfying in small amounts) and exotic (although nonchalantly humble.)

The verb romance can be described thusly:

...to court or woo romantically; treat with ardor or chivalrousness...

which sounds awfully Wuthering Heights to me. And throughout the descriptions, there runs this thread:

...a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention...

which reminds me of women living in an imagined mental wonderland of hunky suitors and forever love.

Frankly, I like romance = truffles. One can reminisce about meals one has had, and dream about meals to come with truffles. One can have truffles rarely and be satisfied. And if truffles come into your life, they go with everything except dessert.

Romance Part 1, Romance Part 3, Romance Part 4.

Romance

Here is a list of words direct from my brain, the result of a self-administered word-association exercise. The word? Romance.

corsets
kissing
flowers
lingerie
perfume
gifts
heels
hotels
lovey-dovey
what women want
emotions
buttons
bra hooks
spooning
holding
candlelight
wine
cheap fiction
Heathcliff
Emily Brontë
frock coats

And so on.

Disappointingly pedestrian, I'm sure you'll agree.

So if we're looking for more than just a hook-up, something greater than sex, is romance that thing? And if so, what is romance? Is it about longing and unrequited desire, or is it sex after a nice dinner?

Romance. It's this week's focus.

Romance Part 2, Romance Part 3, Romance Part 4.

Crystal Lake Triathlon 2009

Location: Averill Park, NY
Distance: Sprint (800m s, 18mi b, 5k r)
Time: 8am (in waves 4min apart)
Weather: 60deg, raining
Participants: 241

Apparently fall has arrived in Upstate NY! Let's just say when I threw some clothes into my bag for the weekend, I wasn't expecting temperatures to drop below 60. The past two mornings, however, have been quite chilly!

I knew it was inevitable--that at some point, I would have to race in the rain. Today was definitely the day (good weather from now on??)! On the drive to the race there was the lightest drizzle, which stopped as I was setting up my bike and transition area. The break didn't last long, and drops began to fall as go-time got closer :(

Fog draped the lake, creating quite the backdrop for the scene of the swim...

Crystal Lake in the fog

Swim
With such a small race, there were 4 waves of swimmers, and I was in the 2nd wave with most of the females, 4min after the start. Time couldn't pass quickly enough, as I was freezing! Luckily the water was like bath water, although my feet never warmed up :/

about to lose my cap!

I felt pretty comfortable in the swim, actually getting in between people and not getting thrown off by an occasional kick or bump. The fog wasn't too much of a problem, as I used the buoys to sight. Despite this, I finished with a time of 18:56... not sure if it was a little longer than 800m or I went a little off course on the way back in??

Bike
Much like the Webster course, this course was described as "challenging." Indeed, on a good day it would be a challenging ride. Rolling hills, with 4 (I think) good-size ones thrown in. What was I thinking signing up for this race??

The weather, a light rain up until this point, took a turn for the worse and we experienced quite the downpour on this leg. My feet were completely soaked (as was the rest of me, but the squishy socks made it worse), and at one point the rain felt like hail. Not my idea of fun, but the heaviest downpour was relatively short... could've been worse, right? I did take it a bit conservative on turns and around traffic, but I felt pretty good until the last big hill. I managed to finish the ride in 1:06.54, an average of 16.1mph. I was hoping to do a bit better than my last race, but given the conditions and length I feel pretty good about it. Still need to work on my climbing outside!

this time i'm in the blue/white top

Run
After prying off my gloves and giving my socks a squeeze (still on my feet) and grabbing my race belt, I tied my shoes and was off on the run. My feet? Still cold, felt kinda like bricks. Did I mention there was a nice little hill right out of the transition? That was... nice. There were some small hills on the course, and my left ankle felt pretty inflexible, but I passed the two women who had passed me at the end of the bike (hehehe). There was one woman who passed me, and as much as I wanted to keep up, it wasn't happening. I took it out on some guys in my path :)

Approaching the final turn

I finished pretty strong, mud and all ;) Although I didn't feel fast, somehow I finished in 23:05 (an 8:09 pace)--not too shabby! My parents didn't listen to me and came out to support despite the weather, which I can't thank them enough for!! It's always awesome to see them and have people you know cheering you on <3

My final time was 1:54:43, which put me 4th in Females 20-29. Which I'd be thrilled with... except that if I had been one minute faster, I would've been 2nd. One stinkin minute- doh! Ah well, it was a good race and I'm happy with how I did. And that I finished despite the weather. Plus, there's always next year!!!

Foreplay by Numbers

Golf embraces the concept of foreplay too, and in the same way as sex.

Shouting FORE! = Lookout, incoming!

Golf too has rules regarding that which is allowable and that which is not, just like real foreplay. A mate of mine relates the tale of being in Greece as a youth on a drunken teenage vacation. (He's English.) Standing at a bus stop with a Scottish girl he met earlier in the evening, they got frisky. When he reached up her skirt, she put a temporary end to proceedings by declaiming "Tits first, then box" in her delightful broad brogue.

The road to paradise is strewn with dead ends and blind turns. Until you have a working knowledge of the road, it's best to stick with a few basic rules that you both understand.

1. Some form of lubricant is a good idea. Social lubricant, that is. Alcohol is the standard way of reducing inhibitions.

2. Circle your object of desire in the same way that lions stalk prey. Purr, tread softly, use your tongue, be patient.

3. Encountering resistance is normal, and shouldn't dissuade you from continuing. Divert your attention elsewhere for a while, return to the scene of disappointment. Watch the gate open.

4. Feigning and misdirection are normal elements of foreplay.

5. Remember, it's only sex. It's not like negotiating strategic arms limitation treaties. Humour helps a lot. There's a reason it's called fooling around and not seriousing around.

Foreplay Part 1.

Foreplay Part 2.

Foreplay Part 3.

Garlic Toasts and Farmers' Market Tomatoes

In southern California the end of summer means heat waves, brush fires, traffic jams near the beaches, and a bounty of produce in the farmers' markets. At the Santa Monica Farmers' Market and our neighborhood Pacific Palisades Farmers' Market, tomatoes fill the stalls. All kinds of tomatoes: conventional, heirloom, and cherry tomatoes.

Taking advantage of all those tomatoes is imperative.

I especially enjoy the sweetness of cherry tomatoes. I've skewered them. Roasted and turned them into pasta sauce. Used them in salads. Served them with fresh mozzarella. Recently I discovered a new combination that is perfect for a summer meal.

With a nod to bruschetta, the vegetable and cheese topping contrasts with the garlic toasts, but the bread should be cut thin, about 1/4" thick, the easier to break apart with a knife and fork.

Assemble the salad at the last minute so the toasts stay crunchy.

Garlic Toasts Topped with Farmers' Market Fresh Vegetables

Yield 4 servings

Time 30 minutes

Ingredients

8 slices Italian bread, thin sliced, 1/4" thick
4 garlic cloves, skins removed, finely chopped
1 basket cherry tomatoes, stems removed, washed, quartered
1/4 cup olives cracked green or black, pitted, finely chopped
1 bunch Italian parsley, washed, leaves only, finely chopped
1 tablespoon red onion, finely chopped
1 cup fresh mozzarella, dried, roughly chopped
1 avocado, peeled, pitted, roughly chopped
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup olive oil
Sea salt and pepper

Method

In a small sauce pan, reduce the balsamic vinegar by half over a low flame, about 5 minutes. Set aside to cool.

Heat 1/4 cup olive oil in a large frying pan, add the chopped garlic and the thin slices of Italian bread. Saute until lightly browned on both sides. Add olive oil as needed but only enough so the slices brown evenly.

Place the sauteed bread on the bottom of a large bowl, add the Italian parsley, avocado, red onion, mozzarella, quartered cherry tomatoes, and slivered olives.

Drizzle with olive oil and the reduced balsamic vinegar. Season with sea salt and pepper. Serve immediately.

Variations

Add 1 ear corn, boiled or grilled, kernels removed

Add 5 grilled shrimp, roughly chopped

Add 1 cup grilled chicken breast, roughly chopped

Add 4 anchovies, finely chopped

Add 1 hard boiled egg, finely chopped

Take One Step Back

Guessing here, but I imagine that most guys rush foreplay. Being goal oriented does have drawbacks. Great in mergers and acquisitions. Leads to dissatisfaction in sex.

This is a case where the animal in us (rrrrrrawwrrrr) needs to be trained. If we behaved like bonobos, we'd be copulating pretty much all the time. Delaying copulating is the operative thought here - it's all about tantalizing the females before the males get their junk in where it counts.

Concentrating less on one's junk in the short term makes for a happy man in the long term. I think the answer to this is to really, really slow down the foreplay, or better still, find a way to fall in step with your lady's pace.

In a perfect sexual world, this would be every guy's aim. Experiment with the woman, and encourage her feedback. Every babe is different, so if you have a harem, school's in much of the time. The upside is that once you have the outline of a woman's sexual mind, life becomes very, very happy.

But you need to reach that point first, and male drive being what it is, speed looks to be the right thing; it is not. I would try slowing everything down by taking one step back for every step you make towards actual penetration. By that I mean if you're about to start caressing her breasts, try to hint at it first. If you're removing her panties, don't. Go do something else. Delay to the point that she's squirming with anticipation.

Suggestion, hinting, inference, teasing are the bedrocks of guiding her to want you with the same aggression that you want her.

In fact, the art of turning on a woman lies in creating anticipation. They love it, and it pays to remember that anticipation lives in the mind, not in the pussy.

Now, there will always be the times (or indeed the women) who aren't wired to find deliciousness in anticipation. In that case, they'll tell you. Learning to listen to what she's telling you is part of being at school. But I don't mean necessarily what she's verbalizing.

What she's telling you in every other way is more important.

Foreplay Part 1.

Foreplay Part 2.

Foreplay Part 4.

Kiss the Vagina, but is it foreplay?

Let's set up this foreplay business.

First up, it is mostly about the woman.

Secondly, it is a customary precursor to penetration.

Thirdly, it is not an essential precursor to penetration.

No point in me attempting to describe foreplay better than here. This is the best and most succinct description of sexual petting, despite the pedestrian source. Worth a read.

Definitions are fine, but I like looking outside the box, if you'll pardon the expression. A wonderful idea came to me after a long talk with a lover one day, when she said:

I love it when you look at me like you want to eat me, then fuck me.

That struck home because it expanded the universe of foreplay from an act with a beginning and end, to something couples can engage in all the time. If a simple look can engender sexual feelings in a woman, foreplay can be all-the-time-play.

As enticing as that sounds, it's not practical. But the message to men is clear; foreplay is about more than just physical contact. Subtle creatures that they are, women respond to many more stimuli than you'd imagine. The key to understanding foreplay is to see it as something you can think your way into.

Guys should try this experiment. Next time you sit down with your wife or girlfriend, consciously think of her as sex on wheels. Imagine her in the way that arouses you most, and how much you'd like to taste her and smell her and fuck her. Talk to her - not about sex - while you're actively thinking about bending her over the kitchen table, taking her from behind.

You will be hard put to prevent yourself looking at her like you want to take her right now, and she will probably notice. It works. You don't need to leer or be salacious. Simply bringing her and her sexuality to mind will alter the energy between you.

Women want to be wanted. Women want to be thought of as sexy. It does not require a full-on fuckfest to keep her simmering. Men, this is foreplay at its most simple.

Foreplay Part 1.

Foreplay Part 3.

Foreplay Part 4.

Summer Eats

Sorry for going MIA, it's been a bit crazy here... Hi to everyone I met at the Healthy Living Summit!! I can't describe how awesome it was to hear "I read your blog!" :) I meant to attend some of the other festivities, but I had to make it out to the burbs to sit this guy...

Perseus

He was tuckered out after our long walks in the heat and humidity of last week! I was pretty much without internet access, so I'm still trying to catch up :/

I did have the realization that zucchini and corn make an amazing pairing! I had sauteed some zucchini with onions in a little EVOO, but didn't have a plan of what to use them in. I thought of combining it with corn on a pizza, but instead of making my own dough I took the easy way out and used pitas already on hand. I made this a few times during the week and varied the cheese (Laughing Cow, goat cheese, or fresh mozz), but I think my fav way was with the laughing cow spread underneath a heaping pile of zucchini and corn, broiled until crispy! Yum...

Zucchini Corn Pita Pizza

I was also beyond excited to find 2 pints of sour cherries at a store when I was looking something for my mom :) I immediately popped them in my basket (let's not think about the fact that I had a basket... when I went in for 1 thing that I could've held in my hands) and began to think about my failed pie. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was the heat and humidity... but I ended up making some Sour Cherry Frozen Yogurt! My cherries were actually so good I could eat them plain, so I cut back on the sugar and used amaretto instead of the rum and almond extract. A great way to cool off :)

Sour Cherry Frozen Yogurt

Looking at these pictures, I am appreciating all the natural light I get in my apartment :) (These were not taken in my apt) I am off for a long weekend home Thursday, so the next time you hear from me it will likely be another race recap!

Kiss the Vagina

If there is a gene for foreplay, I was born without it.


{Allowing time for snarky jokes.}


But every man was born without such a thing, because foreplay is a learned skill, not something innate. What we guys are created with is an over-riding curiosity about women's bodies, a field of inquiry that I can imagine lasts until death.

Foreplay, however, is rather more than a game of doctors and nurses (as much fun as that might be). In a way, it is close to the pinnacle of a relationship between a man and a woman, in that it involves trust, sensitivity, humility, communication, feedback, patience and hopefully, humour.

That's the theme for this week: how men can be better at foreplay.

Foreplay Part 2.

Foreplay Part 3.

Foreplay Part 4.

You are the best, darling.

In our porned-up society, sex-competitiveness has taken hold.

I give the best blow-jobs. Evah.

We screwed for hours man, hours!

Yeah, I'm a bit tired. Five times last night.

Boasting about length, volume, longevity, quantity or dirtiness of one's coupling is a kind of national vanity. One day the National Sex Directorate Czar will arrive to pin a blue ribbon on your chest: First Prize for Bonking.

Unfortunately, the Sex Directorate neglects to publish standards defining good and bad sex. It's the kind of basic oversight you'd expect from another dopey government department, so we naturally turn to the private sector for guidance. By default, the porn industry and its denizens give us the thumbs-up or -down for sexual behaviour, which leads us neatly back to where we started. If you want to know how to do something, seek guidance from specialists.

Ergo, porned-up world.

This is a notion utterly divorced from the truth. A big lie, if you like, that's all too easy to adopt. It's way simpler to discern good from bad sex based on porn criteria than to use our minds. Good sex begins and ends in the mind. Our bodies are the medium through which many layers of drives and emotion are expressed.

In the afterglow, when someone says to you: You're the best (pant, pant) darling, consider asking against whom he or she is measuring you.

Fear

Back to the week's topic, which is why we feel compelled to mask the truth.

I am happy to be contradicted, but I think we are all frightened of what other people think of us. Fear of rejection runs highest on a first date, and gradually subsides from there. The question is why we think another person - and a stranger, at that - has a better grasp on what's good or bad or smart or chic than we do.

It's insane to believe that someone we have just met knows more about life and our place in the universe. And yet, again and again, we seek other viewpoints about where we fit. Which goes a long way towards explaining why when we do find someone we like, or love, or just feel good about, we don't want to blow them away with our version of the truth. It is only with folks we don't know that we feel free to bollox them.

It's completely ass-backwards. Strangers tell us (in High-Def) just where we're going wrong, and our allies can't bring themselves to do so.

Changing this ingrained behaviour is impossible. What we can do is not perpetuate it ourselves, and if assaulted by the dumb criticisms of strangers, ignore it. Dating would benefit from a lot more walking out on people, and treating them as they deserve.

She hates me Part 1, She hates me Part 2, She hates me Part 3.

The Drinks of Summer: Martinis and Caipirinhas

Years ago I was working on a difficult job. The days were long. The heat oppressive. Many of my coworkers were given to fits of irrationality and unpleasantness. But finally, as with all things, the job was ending. To celebrate our release from pain, a final party was arranged before we returned to our lives and normalcy.

I remember being led downstairs to a grotto and in the dimness there was an apparition I've never forgotten.

A lone waiter, moving through the crowd--a Moses dividing the Red Sea--his elbow cocked, a tray balanced on one hand and on that tray were half a dozen shimmering glasses of cold, liquid pinkness. Somehow a light followed those glasses through the darkness as though a stagehand with a follow-spot had found the movie star we all dream about.

When I am hot, tired, and weary, the vision of those cosmopolitans held high above the crowd comes back to me and I am revived.

An ice-cold cosmopolitan brings a smile to my face, but from my travels I can offer up 3 more companions to lower the temperature on a hot summer night.

Beach Martini

On a trip to Houston and a stay at the Hotel Icon, Roberto Sanchez, one of the barmen in the Voice Lounge, improvised a cocktail that remains a favorite for its lightness and refreshing flavors.

Yield 1 serving

Time 5 minutes

Ingredients

1 1/2 ounces Finlandia vodka
3/4 ounce Patron Citron
1/2 ounce DeKuyper Watermelon Pucker
Splash of freshly squeezed orange juice

Method

Combine the ingredients with crushed ice. Shake. Strain and pour into a martini glass.

Kiwi-Pomegranate Caipirinha

The national drink of Brazil, the caipirinha, has 4 ingredients: cachaça, sugar, limes, and ice. Simple, delicious, and strong. Cachaça is harsher than rum but more flavorful than vodka.

Off and on for three years our older son, Franklin, lived in Brazil. We visited him in wonderfully complex Rio where he introduced us to the pleasures of sitting on the Leblon beach, enjoying the incredible view and feasting on "appetizers" sold by vendors who walk up and down the beach.

Because Brazil has such a bounty of tropical fruits, it was only a matter of time before the caipirinha enjoyed the addition of other flavors. Franklin had learned to make variations. Going to a nearby farmers' market, we picked out different fruit to add to the basic ingredients.

Back at his apartment we spent the afternoon working our way through many combinations. What we liked best was adding kiwi fruit and pomegranate seeds, then we experimented with the proportions.

When it was time to leave Rio, we packed our suitcase with as many bottles of cachaça as we could legally bring home.

Yield 1 serving

Time 5 minutes

Ingredients

2 ounces cachaça
1 tablespoon superfine sugar
1/2 lime, cut into 8 pieces, mashed in a mortar and pestle
1/2 kiwi, peeled and finely chopped
1 tablespoon pomegranate seeds
Ice, cubed or crushed

Pour the cachaça in a 12 ounce glass, add the sugar and stir well. Add the lime, kiwi, and pomegranate seeds. Fill the glass with ice and stir well.

Serve with a spoon so you can eat the kiwi and pomegranate seeds while you sip your caipirinha.

A True Pomegranate Martini

On a recent trip to Sonoma, visiting the amazing Sonoma Market, we picked up a bottle of Sonoma Syrup Co's Pomegranate Grenadine Simple Syrup. If you can find a bottle, which takes some doing, you'll read the label and find that this is one of the few (maybe the only) pomegranate syrups that is made exclusively with pomegranate juice and sugar, and, oh yeah, some water. Really delicious.

If you're lucky enough to find a source for Tanqueray Vodka--yes, Vodka--buy several bottles. Where we live only the upscale market, Gelson's, carries it and it is something special.

Yield 1 serving

Time 1 minute

Ingredients

5 ounces vodka, preferably Tanqueray
1/2 ounce Pomegranate Grenadine, preferably made by Sonoma Syrup Company

Method

Keep the vodka in the freezer. Combine the vodka and grenadine in a martini glass and stir well.

Is she my soulmate?

Do soulmates exist? Maybe, but I am not a buyer. I think what happens when we meet our 'soulmate' is that we click on more than the usual number of levels.

We can all list the physical and abstract qualities to which we are attracted, or from which we run. Meet a person for the first time, and we instantly size up their look, body, eyes, hair, teeth, posture, gait, dress, mannerisms, speech and a million other details that tell us who they are.

Beneath the surface our devious little genes are sizing that person up too, via smell, taste, size, savings account, and so on, in ways of which we aren't the slightest bit aware.

In my opinion, our soulmate is the person from whom we get a thumbs-up from the genetic department, and a big thumbs up from the mental/fantasy/abstract department. Let's call that overt attraction. It follows (and is highly likely) that more than one soulmate exists for all of us: the trick is to find them.

But that isn't the end of it either. There is a third part of our lives that must be in congruence with the prospective partner, what I will call our active life. That's the side of living that includes family, friends, work, living arrangements, and all the maze-like rabbit-holes we create, mostly in our imagination.

If the first two attractions (genetic and overt) agree that the person before us is a tasty morsel, the active life might prevent getting together. The reason could be anything from an upcoming vacation, to a promotion at work, to a friend who is very demanding on our time. These are the things we have chosen. Logically, we can un-choose them so as to be more available, but that is a conscious action. Also, the decision to un-choose parts of our active life so as to allow the new person in can take time.

Which is my point. If our soulmate walked in the door right now, our active life might not be aligned right now despite all the other green lights. Which is why, as Miss A pointed out, the timing is critical. And if that is the case, the most important thing to say is: I think this might work, but I just need time to undo some other knots in my life. Maybe. But not now.

She doesn't like you Part 1, She doesn't like you Part 2, She doesn't like you Part 4.

It's not me, it's you.

Much to my cost, I have been a relationship equivocator. I have, in the past, been the one to say maybe when I really meant NO. Even when women have handed me an out - do you think this is working? - the words in my head, the right words, the accurate words, didn't form. Instead, I have avoided the disagreement, and attempted to smooth over the problem.

I do not know where this avoidance behaviour comes from. There must be something deep-seated in those of us who work this way, because I know it's almost always injurious. For us, and the other party.

There is no logic in trying not to offend the other person. If they are upset at something we know or feel, it's their problem. Not communicating our heart and mind only delays the inevitable. And in the meantime, the truth will always - ALWAYS - squeeze its way out of us in some form or another.

In the universal sense, the truth is always better than a cowering lie. Trying to massage the message to make someone else feel something is equivalent to pushing the proverbial piece of string. It never works.

She doesn't like you Part 1, She doesn't like you Part 3, She doesn't like you Part 4.

Why doesn't she like me?

It's brutal isn't it?

I am not so sure. If you're in sales, you will know that there are three possible answers to the question:

So, would you like to place your first order?

Yes, maybe, or no.

Yes and no are equal best; yes because you have either a new or renewed customer, and no because it means you won't waste any more time with them. If they're not interested, they're not interested.

Maybe is the worst. Maybe probably means no, but they don't have the balls to say so. I treat maybe as no.

In the dating world, maybe is the worst answer as well. Maybe can mean an entire universe of things from:

I would like to date you but I am married,

to

I would go out but you are an inch too short.

If you ask the maybe person what their reason is, just as with a sales prospect, they're unlikely to tell the exact truth. Many people aren't good at saying no, nor are they good at telling you why. It's a human quirk, I think.

That's my theme for this week: Why do we dodge the truth with the opposite sex?

She doesn't like you Part 2, She doesn't like you Part 3, She doesn't like you Part 4.

Now & Later Meals: Grilled Corn Has a Second Act as a Salad

Besides outdoor grilling, days at the beach, fried chicken, ripe tomatoes, and ice cold watermelon, corn on the cob is one of the great markers of summer.

When I was growing up, my mom loved to search out road side stands that sold fresh corn. She'd buy a grocery bag full and we'd feast on boiled corn with slabs of melting butter, seasoned liberally with salt and pepper.

I still enjoy corn that way, but now more often than not our corn on the cob comes to the table grilled not boiled.

Shucked and drizzled with olive oil, seasoned with sea salt and pepper, then turned on a grill until lightly browned, the naturally sweet kernels are sweetened even more by caramelization. Yumm.

For a snack, nothing is better than an ear of corn pulled from the refrigerator. But there's more that can be done with those grilled ears of corn. Cutting the kernels off, they can go into a chopped salad and move from side dish to entree.

And on hot days, that's another marker of summer--putting meals on the table with as little effort as possible.

Now: Farmers' Market Fresh Grilled Corn on the Cob
Later: Grilled Corn and Chopped Vegetable Salad

NOW: Grilled Corn on the Cob

The most important part of this recipe is the corn itself. The fresher the corn, the better the taste. When you're picking out corn, select ears that have green husks and golden silks.

Yield 4 servings plus left-overs (which you will need for the LATER recipe)

Time 15 minutes

Ingredients

8 ears of corn, shucked, silks removed, washed
3 tablespoons olive oil
Sea salt and pepper

Directions

Preheat the grill.

Break the ears in half or cut into 3" lengths. The ears you're saving to make the salad can be left whole. Pour the olive oil onto a large plate. Season with sea salt and pepper. Roll each piece of corn in the oil.

Using tongs, grill the corn on all sides until lightly browned. Remove from the grill and serve hot.

LATER: Parsley-Corn Chopped Salad

The salad can be prepared ahead and refrigerated but it tastes better if served at room temperature.

Yield 4 servings

Time 15 minutes

Ingredients

3-4 ears of grilled corn
1 large bunch Italian parsley, washed, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, skin on
1 tablespoon yellow onion, finely chopped
1 carrot, washed, peeled, roughly chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
Sea salt and pepper

Directions

Put the balsamic vinegar in a small saucepan and reduce by half over a low flame. Set aside to cool.

Using a sharp knife, cut off the kernels and put into a mixing bowl. Place the garlic clove on a skewer or the point of a sharp knife. Char in a flame so the skin burns off. Brush off any bits of burnt skin and roughly chop the garlic.

Add the charred garlic, parsley, and onions to the mixing bowl. Drizzle with the olive oil and reduced balsamic vinegar. Season to taste with sea salt and pepper.

Transfer to a serving dish.

Variations

Instead of using a raw carrot, grill a carrot cut into slabs 1/4" thick; dredged the slabs in seasoned olive oil and grill until lightly browned; let cool and chop into pieces the same size as the corn kernels; add to the salad

Grill asparagus dredged in seasoned olive oil, then chop into pieces and add to the salad

Quarter cherry tomatoes and add to the salad

Add 1 cup cooked couscous

Add 1 medium sized avocado, peeled, roughly chopped

Add 6 medium sized shrimp, washed, peeled, deveined, and grilled, roughly shopped

Crumble 3 pieces of crisp bacon on the salad and toss

Shred 1/2 cup turkey or chicken breast and add to the salad

Backlogged

~sigh~ The days keep passing by yet I feel like I can't keep up. I have tried a bunch of good recipes, so here's a bunch of photos and links for your viewing pleasure...

A bunch of kale happenned to be in my fridge when I read this post. It didn't take me long to whip up a batch of Celine's kagels (kale bagels)! I used whole wheat flour with ~2T vital wheat gluten for mine, and enjoyed them topped with hummus (in the front) or cheese (in the back) and a thickly sliced heirloom tomato... yum :)

I experimented with adding peaches to my caprese salad! This combination has popped up a few places this summer, so I had to give it a shot. I topped my heriloom tomatoes, local peaches, and fresh mozz with a little balsamic that I reduced with a little honey and a cinnamon stick. This was a nice twist on the traditional salad :)



After my pie failure, I stopped sulking and made a small batch of this Sour Cherry Borscht. This was very unique and I really loved how refreshing it was, especially topped with a bit of greek yogurt! Sour cherries, why isn't your season longer??



I finally got around to trying Ricki's Zucchini Pineapple Muffins (originally Mini Loaves)! I was really intrigued by the use of pureed avocado for some of the fat, and gave up waiting for me to buy some spelt flours-- I used white whole wheat for the light spelt flour and whole wheat for the barley flour. Mine seemed to be a bit dry (probably the change in flours), so I didn't keep them in the pan after 25 min in the oven. They turned out perfectly, and i'm in love! So glad I have more ripe avocado stashed in my freezer :)



Got corn? I did, and whipped up a small batch of Ellie Krieger's Creamy Corn & Veggie Soup. It was enjoyab-ly light, but it didn't knock my socks off. Maybe a bit of work on the seasoning front to give it a little punch?



After seeing some Spicy Roasted Shrimp & Green Beans pop up twice (first by Kalyn and then Esi), I knew this was going into the rotation as soon as I picked up green beans at the farmers market! Even using lime zest instead of lemon, this dish did not disappoint!



Tired yet? I sure am! I got one more for you before I hit the hay... a co-worker had a birthday this week and as her birthday buddy it was my turn to take care of the cake. Her request was a carrot cake, with all the goodies (pineapple, nuts, coconut, raisins). I ended up using Eating Well's recipe for the cake (I reduced the sugar a tad and used egg substitute for 2 of the eggs). This got topped off with some golden raisin cream cheese frosting (using Nufatchel, Smart Balance 50/50 sticks, and 1 1/2c powdered sugar) and some toasted walnuts. She liked it! In fact, it seemed to get rave reviews across the board :) Definitely a keeper!


Alright kids, it's way past my bedtime! Until next time... try some new recipes :)

Love Bite

If you're less extreme about biting that our Fang Banging friends, there is a lot of lucid information out there.

This article is the best overview.

Clear from everything I have read is that there are shades of biting. One person's "OW!" might tell you to stop, while another's "Owwwwwww" might be an invitation to continue.

Because sexual biting verges on the violent, it is clearly worthy of talking about first, or taking very slowly if you're experimenting for real.

As a kind of abbreviated "How to Bite" guide, this is pretty good. It talks about hair-pulling, too.

The categorization and naming conventions of the Kama Sutra and other Sub-Continental texts sits oddly with me, but the concepts are often spot-on. I like this piece. (Scroll the page down.)

And here are some more biting ideas.

Just a thought: biting cupcakes is not nearly as good for you as biting your partner.

Biting Part 1, Biting Part 2.

Cherry Tomatoes and Pasta Go Hand in Hand

I only grow cherry tomatoes. Which doesn't mean I don't enjoy eating heirlooms like Brandywines, Cherokee Purples, or Green Zebras. Because we have large, beautiful trees in the backyard, we only get partial sun in the garden. Our house stays cool even during the hottest days and that's good news, but larger tomatoes don't grow well without full sun. I'm not complaining though.

The cherry tomatoes are sweet like candy.

At this time of year, cherry tomatoes are plentiful. Not just in our garden, which has gone kind of cherry-tomato-crazy, but in the farmers' markets as well. Big baskets of perfectly ripe tomatoes are selling for $1.00/basket. They're perfect for salads and skewering. With a plentiful supply, they also make a delicious pasta sauce.

Pasta alla Checca

Yield 4 servings

Time 30 minutes

Ingredients

1 pound pasta, penne, gnocchi style, fussili, or spaghetti
1 basket farmers' market fresh cherry tomatoes, stems removed, washed, quartered
1 bunch basil, washed, stems removed
1 garlic clove, skin removed, minced
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1/4 cup olive oil
Sea salt and pepper
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan or Romano cheese

Method

Put the quartered tomatoes into a large bowl, season with sea salt and pepper, add the olive oil,minced garlic, and toss. Do this a few minutes before you cook the pasta.

Add the kosher salt to a large pot with a gallon of water, heat to boiling, add the pasta, and stir well. Stir every couple of minutes to prevent the pasta from sticking together. After 10 minutes sample a piece of pasta. When it's cooked to your taste, strain, and put the pasta into the bowl with the seasoned tomatoes.

Toss well. Chop or tear by hand the basil leaves and add to the pasta. Top with grated cheese and serve immediately.

Variations

Over an open flame, char the garlic clove with the skin still on. Remove the blackened skin, mince the garlic

Add 1/4 cup finely chopped, pitted olives, cracked green or black

Add 2 anchovies, minced

Add 1 tablespoon red onion, finely chopped or cut into thin rings

Roasted Cherry Tomato Pasta Sauce

Cooked into a sauce, cherry tomatoes have a flavor that is different from their large-bodied cousins. One basket makes enough sauce to serve 4 people, so the price-break is good.

If you want, the sauce can be made ahead, frozen, and used weeks later with little loss of flavor.

Yield 4 servings

Time 60 minutes

Ingredients

2 baskets farmers' market fresh cherry tomatoes, stems removed, washed
4 garlic cloves, skins removed, minced
1 cup Italian parsley leaves, washed, finely chopped
4 shiitake or brown mushrooms, washed, finely chopped
1/2 medium yellow onion, skin removed, washed, finely chopped
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tablespoon sweet butter
Sea salt and pepper

Method

Toss the cherry tomatoes in a bowl with the olive oil, half of the minced garlic, season with sea salt and pepper, place on a baking tray that has been lined with a Silpat or parchment sheet. Bake 45 minutes in a 400 degree oven.

Reserve the seasoned olive oil in the bowl and use to saute the remaining garlic, parsley, onion, and mushrooms until lightly browned. Set aside.

Put the roasted tomatoes, including all the liquid on the baking tray, through a food mill. Add the tomato sauce and pulp to the saute pan.

Simmer 5 minutes. Stir in the sweet butter, taste, and adjust the seasoning with sea salt and pepper.

Toss with pasta and serve with freshly grated Parmesan or Romano cheese.

Variations

Use the tomato sauce without the vegetable saute

With the vegetables, saute 1 cup smoked sausage or Italian sausage, finely chopped, until lightly browned

Use fresh basil instead of the Italian parsley

Add 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes or 1/4 teaspoon cayenne to the saute