Friday Fluffer - Love Letters

One of the most popular Googled posts hereabouts is this one: Love Letters [link]

If you have a romantic bone in your body or your trousers, I recommend you give it a shot. Not for what I had to say, but for the letters quoted.

So it was with some amazement that I found myself the recipient of a copy of the DVD pictured. Who knows how these PR people work. They send me a slightly personalized email asking about my interest, and POOF! there's a package in my box.

Let's get this straight: I am a huge, retrograde, old fashioned fan of hand-written letters. If they involve love, all the better. What we have here is a stellar dramatic production of a performance of historic love letters between Clara Schumann[link] and her husband, some hack pianist.

I am incapable of reviewing this thing dispassionately, so I plan to send it to the person most likely to give us clarity: Mr Martian. [link] Send me a real life postal address, and review this wondrous thing for us, my friend.

For those who like shortcuts, the DVD is a performance of Schumann's work punctuated by love letters between husband and wife. The parts are played by Sting and his wife, Trudie. It is heartachingly beautiful, despite the pedigree of the performers.

But I want Martian's opinion.




Photo by me.

This is a quick run-down of the DVD performance. [link]

Is she my soulmate?

Do soulmates exist? Maybe, but I am not a buyer. I think what happens when we meet our 'soulmate' is that we click on more than the usual number of levels.

We can all list the physical and abstract qualities to which we are attracted, or from which we run. Meet a person for the first time, and we instantly size up their look, body, eyes, hair, teeth, posture, gait, dress, mannerisms, speech and a million other details that tell us who they are.

Beneath the surface our devious little genes are sizing that person up too, via smell, taste, size, savings account, and so on, in ways of which we aren't the slightest bit aware.

In my opinion, our soulmate is the person from whom we get a thumbs-up from the genetic department, and a big thumbs up from the mental/fantasy/abstract department. Let's call that overt attraction. It follows (and is highly likely) that more than one soulmate exists for all of us: the trick is to find them.

But that isn't the end of it either. There is a third part of our lives that must be in congruence with the prospective partner, what I will call our active life. That's the side of living that includes family, friends, work, living arrangements, and all the maze-like rabbit-holes we create, mostly in our imagination.

If the first two attractions (genetic and overt) agree that the person before us is a tasty morsel, the active life might prevent getting together. The reason could be anything from an upcoming vacation, to a promotion at work, to a friend who is very demanding on our time. These are the things we have chosen. Logically, we can un-choose them so as to be more available, but that is a conscious action. Also, the decision to un-choose parts of our active life so as to allow the new person in can take time.

Which is my point. If our soulmate walked in the door right now, our active life might not be aligned right now despite all the other green lights. Which is why, as Miss A pointed out, the timing is critical. And if that is the case, the most important thing to say is: I think this might work, but I just need time to undo some other knots in my life. Maybe. But not now.

She doesn't like you Part 1, She doesn't like you Part 2, She doesn't like you Part 4.