Fear

Back to the week's topic, which is why we feel compelled to mask the truth.

I am happy to be contradicted, but I think we are all frightened of what other people think of us. Fear of rejection runs highest on a first date, and gradually subsides from there. The question is why we think another person - and a stranger, at that - has a better grasp on what's good or bad or smart or chic than we do.

It's insane to believe that someone we have just met knows more about life and our place in the universe. And yet, again and again, we seek other viewpoints about where we fit. Which goes a long way towards explaining why when we do find someone we like, or love, or just feel good about, we don't want to blow them away with our version of the truth. It is only with folks we don't know that we feel free to bollox them.

It's completely ass-backwards. Strangers tell us (in High-Def) just where we're going wrong, and our allies can't bring themselves to do so.

Changing this ingrained behaviour is impossible. What we can do is not perpetuate it ourselves, and if assaulted by the dumb criticisms of strangers, ignore it. Dating would benefit from a lot more walking out on people, and treating them as they deserve.

She hates me Part 1, She hates me Part 2, She hates me Part 3.