Sex in Space

Look, does anyone really know what's happening on the International Space Station? I've been suspicious of this low-orbiting satellite since the first bits went aloft in 1998. NASA has this huge website telling us how wonderful and space-licious this thing is, but, I mean, can they point to one thing they've actually achieved there? [link]

Pictured is Astronaut Nicole Stott. Congratulations to Nicole for just returning from 91 days on board the ISS. While she was up there she blogged, she tweeted, she checked her email and she looked out the window; in short, she spent her day much like the rest of us. [link] Has space travel become as boring as my own life?

Congratulations too, to Astronaut Randy Bresnik. Randy’s wife, Rebecca, gave birth to their baby girl, Abigail Mae, in Houston late Saturday night. [link] To celebrate, he went for a walk outside the Space Shuttle - which was attached to the ISS at the time - to smoke a cigar, which mightily ticked off NASA people. Then he posted on Facebook.

I think it's clear what's going on here. Abigail Mae is America's first space baby. She was actually born on the ISS two weeks ago to Astronette Nicole, and Tiger Woods is the father. That would explain his domestic misadventures, given that he neglected to tell his wife, Elin, that Nike had paid him a truck-load to father the first 'alien' human. [link] No sex, just a donation, you understand, all they wanted was his DNA.

So now it's all turned pear-shaped, because Elin went batso with a putter over Tiger's head. He then knocked over a fire hydrant and now won't talk to the cops. NASA's hugely peeved (again) that they can't point to wee Abby as the crowning achievement of $100 billion spent on an orbiting cathouse.

Nike's the only winner. Abigail just got her card for the Ladies' PGA tour, and they have her sponsorship locked up from here to Pluto.

Secret World of Women

DocAnnie alerted us to Dr Marta Meana's appearance on Oprah talking about her research. [link] Dr Meana's studies of women and desire led The Oprah to her and resulting fame. I have pulled a few quotes from the article. They need no help from me.

~

Being desired is the real orgasm...

~

...while moments of pleasure are great, it's the anticipation and buildup to those moments that really excite women.

~

...being desired means that a man doesn't just want to have sex. He wants to have sex with you.

~

One of the most common fantasies when it comes to women and sex is to be dominated by a desirable man...They throw caution to the wind, and they're going to take a chance that you're going to be okay with it...

~

Passion is dependent on novelty, discovery, desire...

~

One of the most complicated aspects of female desire, Dr. Meana says, is that women often want different things at different times...

~

There is an additional article here about the science of attraction. It confirms much of what many of us have come to understand, that smell is way more important than we have thought to date. [link]

Pole Dancing

Somewhere between Cirque du Soleil and Mons Venus Gentleman's Club lies the new heat in pole dancing. It's gone suburban, apparently, this ancient art-form, even mainstream. In that wonderfully American way in which anything, no matter how salacious, can be formalized, there is even a Pole Dancing Federation.[link] Their next convention is to be held in Redwood National Park, I understand. Them's some might fine poles there, hot-diggety.

Stripping and poles go hand-in-hand. As a youth on my first visit to a strip club, it was clear that the girls on stage felt more comfortable with a prop, especially the greenhorns. Putting myself in their position, it's natural to be nervous, what with all your bodily wonders and flaws visible to the leering mass of drunk sweaty wallets....I mean customers. Holding onto a pole must feel like holding onto your dignity, at least until Miguel comes backstage during your break and offers you a little something to get you through.

*sniff*

Okay, it's unavoidable, I know. I can't be cute about this: yes, there is a connection between the "pole" and a man's penis, otherwise known as a "pole". There, it's out in the open now.

What's that? Women don't see it that way? Oh.

Well we do. How else to interpret a disrobing female cavorting around a stiff cylindrical verticularity? Can there be another explanation?

In the end, I guess women pole-dancing with their sig.oth. as an audience is the natural result of men unable or unwilling to learn a few dance steps viz: Tango. Women want to dance, they want to do it with their guy, so why not invite an inanimate brass third to help things along - to grease the pole, if you'll pardon the pun. Good luck to them.

And if ever Vegas needs a new attraction it would be this. The strippermobile, complete with pole. A new high in family entertainment. [link]

Fluffer Friday - The Tango

Today I honour Ferdinand Magellan and all matters South American. On this day in 1520 (that's 489 years ago) Ferdy with his three ships successfully navigated the dangerous waters that separate the Atlantic and the Pacific.

Upon realizing they were the first Europeans to find such a watery path, the crews immediately starting dancing a step that was eventually to overtake South America. Originally known as "The Magellan" it came to be known as "Tango", especially when the crew found women when on shore leave.*

So for Fluffer Friday I give you street dancing in Argentina. Sheesh, it's no wonder the economies down there are always in the tank - why work when you can do this?



*Not all statements herein are facts.

**Note to self: learn to Tango. Chicks must dig this stuff.




Illustration from here. [link]

Respect

In my previous post about trust, I pondered whether we would not be better off replacing the concept of 'love' with 'trust'. [link] A few reasons come to mind: love is often confused with other feelings, like chemistry; love is prone to a quick peak and a long decline; love is a catch-all word for a lot of interpersonal stuff, like sex.

Trust, on the other hand, appears to me to be more tangible, if less easily described. Trust often starts slowly, and improves over time. Trust can exist between any two people even without other relationship connections. And trust builds upon itself, with or without love.

Thinking about these two leads me to believe that they need a third leg to create a triumverate, namely respect. In this circumstance, the noun respect I stipulate to mean:

...esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.

The key phrase there is sense of, because nailing down precisely what is respect, is not easy. Slippery beastie, this respect. One way I've figured to describe it is thus:

If I have respect for someone, I value their opinion approximately the same as mine. If I really respect them, I will likely put their opinion above mine. The subtext to this is an assumption that some people can be given the benefit of the doubt - those we respect - and some cannot.

And there we are, edging into the territory of trust again. If we trust someone, and we respect them, we're likely to let them adjudicate the big life decisions. Less respect than trust, and we'll listen to what they say. Less trust than respect, and we'll listen, but act on our own. In a sense, they're like the bass and treble control on a radio, they're variables of a greater whole.

The idea of the three of them forming a tripod on which lasting relationships grow appeals to me.

Clearly, I'm still unable to articulate precisely what's going on here. In general though, in relationships, I think the ideal progression is:

Respect -----> Trust -------------------->Love.

Funny, that looks like the (admittedly few) really good relationships I've experienced.




If you want a lot of words and some glimmers of understanding, here's a philosophic description of respect .[link]

Illustration from here. [link]

Holiday Sides

I received a sample of Musselman's applesauce to come up with some recipes utilizing it in side dishes one might have this time of year. I thought and thought... then i went into my kitchen :)


After the success of the Spirited Cranberry Sauce I made last year, I decided to put a spin on this for an appetizer I had in mind. I kept the sherry-soaked dried apricots, but used apple cider and spices when making the sauce. To finish is off, I folded in some applesauce and adjusted the sweetness. While this could easily be used as is, I thought it would make a great topper for some baked brie!

Spirited Cran-Apple-Apricot Sauce
Adapted from Cooking Light



1/2c thin sliced apricots
1/4c sherry
3/4c apple cider
1 cinnamon stick
1t vanilla
3-4T honey (or agave, brown sugar, or your desired sweetener)
1 package cranberries
1/2c Musselman's Natural Applesauce

Place apricots and sherry in a small bowl and let sit overnight.

Combine apricots and sherry, cider, cinnamon stick, vanilla and cranberries in a medium pot. Cook over med-low heat until thickened and desired consistency. Add 3T sweetener and applesauce, mix to incorporate, then taste and adjust to your desired level of sweetness. With the amounts I used, it was pretty tart but went perfectly with the brie :)

Don't worry, yours will look better (I didn't have a full wheel of brie)

Baked Brie w/Spirited Cran-Apple-Apricot Sauce
inspiried by The Kitch'n

1 wheel of brie
1/2-3/4c spirited cran-apple-apricot sauce
chopped walnuts or pecans, if desired

Preheat oven to 350. Cut top rind off of brie. Place in a small baking dish. Top with cranberry sauce (keep a small border). Bake for 12-15min, until heated through and cheese is bubbly. Serve in dish or transfer (carefully) to a serving platter. Serve with crackers.



I also used the applesauce to create an Acorn Apple Soup. Seasoned with a flurry (curry?) of spices, this was a delicious, light soup that would be a good addition to any meal!



Acorn Apple Soup
Serves 2



Depending on what you're in the mood for, this soup can be subtly spiced or more robust. Adjust to you're own tastebuds! The amounts listed below come out somewhere in the middle :)

1 acorn squash, cut in half and seeded
1/2t cinnamon
1/2t curry powder
1/6t cardamom
1/6t coriander
1/2c Musselman's Natural Applesauce (or homemade)
apple cider
1/2 apple, diced small
finely grated gruyere

Preheat oven to 425. Place squash on baking sheet and drizzle with EVOO. Sprinkle spices, then bake until squash is tender (time will depend on the size). Remove from oven.

While squash is roasting, prepare garnishes (if desired). Saute diced apple in a little butter or oil and a blend of the seasonings used to season the squash (I didn't measure, just shook some on). Set aside.

To make gruyere crisps, heat a nonstick pan to med heat. Add gruyere in small disc shapes (~1-2t per circle) and cook until melty. Using a spatula, carefully flip over discs and cook until lightly browned. Depending on how hot your pan is, this can go pretty quickly. Remove to a plate lined with a paper towel. I had ~ 1/3c grated gruyere and got 10 crisps.

Once cool, scoop out squash into a blender (I used an immersion blender). Add applesauce and puree. Add enough apple cider until it reaches your desired consistency. Transfer to serving bowls and top with diced apples and gruyere crisps right before serving.


If you're looking for a sweet ending, the applesauce also works well in this Apple Cake, even if it wasn't vegan ;) (I had some buttermilk handy!)



Sorry for the monster post, but I hope everyone has a fabulous Thanksgiving!!

Pussification

Pussification, the term, is the work of George Carlin, a now dead comedian. I found a difficult to read but decent working definition here. [link] But I think that pussification deserves more than a sociologist's bland words, so here's an illustrative story.

Once upon a time, there was a young man. This young man lived in Sydney, a big city on the east coast of Australia. He had many friends, and, being single, at least one eye open on the lookout for sweet young ladies.

A friend of his had a party one night, an event at which our hero met his friend's new housemate. The housemate was a bouncy blonde, self-employed and rather attractive. She also owned an automobile that our young man coveted, so, during the course of the party, a date was made to go for a drive in the sweet ride.

On the day of the driving-date, the weather was calm and warm, so the bouncy blonde wore a short skirt, a tee, and sandals. Everything went well. Our young man got to drive, bought the young lady lunch, and found himself attracted to his companion.

As the date drew to a close, an argument sprang up inside his head. The question? Whether to make a move, or whether to not make a move. All it would have taken was to casually place his hand on her naked knee as they drove along. A simple, unequivocal sign of carnal intent would have been met with either her removing his hand, or her not removing his hand.

In either case, the question would have been answered.

But he didn't. And she didn't. And now we'll never know.

That, my friends, is pussification, when a man will not risk rebuff from placing a hand on a woman's knee on a driving date.








Picture from here. [link]

Trust

Trusty is a brand of dog-food, and dog-food is what you'll end up if you trust the wrong person. Trust improperly placed leads to anger, unhappiness, self-doubt and sexually transmitted disease, and I guess a hundred variations of these things. You know what I mean if you've eaten from that particular bowl - the aftertaste can last for a long time.

I see trust as a more tricky creature than love. Love has positive overtones - even falling out of love has a romantic side, but falling out of trust is deadly. Wouldn't relationships look different if we replaced the word 'love' with 'trust'?

~ I think I'm falling in trust with her

~ He's so trustable I could squeal

~ Every day I wake up and trust her more

He's a sneaky varmint, too, that trust, because he has a self-destructive streak. He often works against those who are closest to him, acting and thinking contrary to his (and their) best interest. One day he's a docile household pet, the next he's sneaking home at all hours smelling of drug-store perfume and rum. And yet it's impossible to lock him up and tame him, because trust is as much about the trustor as the trustee. Trust exists, and can thrive or die, in a mutual space.

Actually, forget the trust-as-animal analogy. A better thought is to liken finding trust to underground mining. The idea is to find seams of gold or opal hidden amidst tons of other rocks. You keep digging away, day after day, and with each discovery of a nugget comes joy, and hopefully an addition to your bank- (or trust-) balance. That sounds about right to me. Trust is often found unexpectedly, often hard-won, and accumulates over time.

If there's another way, I'm unaware.






Photo from here. [Link]

Thanksgiving Turkey, Cornbread Stuffing, and Mushroom Gravy

Thanksgiving was my mother's favorite holiday. She loved the chance to have her family and friends seated around the table, catching up, telling stories,and eating favorite treats.

Most of the time I do the cooking since I work at home and because we have a kitchen the size of a New York closet. Thanksgiving is my wife's day and I happily step to the side, working as a sous chef, assisting her in executing a meal that usually serves between 15-20.

Even though Thanksgiving is a lot of work, the key is organization. Writing up a menu is the first step, then a shopping list, and finally a time-line for the day before Thanksgiving and the day of the meal.

Along with those first steps, we cover the bottom of the oven with aluminum foil so clean up after the meal is easier. Cleaning out the refrigerator makes room for the turkey after we pick it up from the grocery store and so there's space for all those delicious left-overs after the meal.

Besides shopping at the grocery store we visit our local farmers' market to pick up fresh vegetables for the sides dishes: beets, sweet potatoes, lettuce, celery, carrots, mushrooms, Brussels sprouts, corn, leeks, and onions.

But the most important part of the meal is the turkey and no turkey is complete without a great stuffing.

Corn Bread Stuffing with Sausages, Dried Apricots, and Pecans

Over the years my wife has developed a crowd-pleasing stuffing with a contrast of textures: soft (corn bread), spicy (sausage), chewy (dried apricots), and crunchy (pecans).

Yield: 15-20 servings

Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients

2 boxes corn bread mix
3 celery stalks, washed, ends trimmed, leaves discarded
1 pound mushrooms, brown, shiitake, or portabella, washed, pat dried, finely chopped
2 medium yellow onions, peeled, ends removed, finely chopped
4 garlic cloves, peeled, finely chopped
1 stick sweet butter
1 1/2 cups turkey or chicken stock
4 Italian style sweet sausages
1 cup dried apricots, finely chopped
1/2 cup pecans, roughly chopped
Sea salt and pepper

Method

Make the corn bread the night before and leave the pan on the counter so the corn bread dries out. Use any cornbread mix you like. My wife uses Jiffy. It's inexpensive and tastes great. The instructions are on the box.

Saute the sausages whole in a frying pan with a little olive oil until browned, remove, cut into bite-sized pieces, and set aside. Pour off the excess fat. Add the celery, mushrooms, onion, and garlic into the pan with the stick of butter and saute. Season with sea salt and pepper. Cook until lightly browned, then add stock and summer 15 minutes.

Cut the cornbread into chunks and crumble into a large mixing bowl. Add the apricots, pecans, and the saute. Stir well and set aside until you're ready to stuff the turkey.

Roast Turkey

The most difficult part about cooking a turkey is size. Even a 15 pound turkey is larger than any roast you'll ever cook, so it's important to have somebody around to help strong-arm the turkey.

The rule of thumb about cooking time is 15-20 minutes per pound at 325 degrees but there are so many variables, you can also use a roasting thermometer and, our preferred method, jiggle-the-leg and if it almost comes off, the turkey's done.

There's a lot of talk about whether to brine or not to brine. In the Los Angeles Times, Russ Parsons argued for what he calls a "dry" brine, which means salting the turkey inside and out, then wrapping it in a sealable bag and refrigerating it for one to two days.

Yield: 20-25 servings

Time: 7-8 hours

Ingredients

1 turkey, 23-25 pounds
Olive oil
Sea salt and pepper

Method

Unwrap the turkey. Remove the packet with the liver, neck, heart, and giblet. Use a pair of pliers to remove the piece of wire that holds the legs. It can be a real pain to get the wire off. Wash the turkey inside and out. Pat dry on the outside.

Reserve the liver to make a turkey chopped liver. Put the neck, heart, and giblet into a large saucepan with a lot of water, at least five inches higher than the turkey pieces. Replenish whatever water boils off. Simmer for 2-3 hours or until the meat on the neck falls off if you touch it with a fork. Strain the stock and reserve to use for gravy. Pull the meat off the neck and save to make turkey soup. Use the giblets in the gravy.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

The next step is easier with a friend. Drizzle olive oil on the outside of the turkey. Using your hands spread the oil over the entire bird, front and back. Sprinkle sea salt and black pepper inside the cavity and on the outside.

To put in the stuffing, either my wife or I holds the turkey upright and steady while the other loosely packs the stuffing inside the large cavity, one handful at a time.

Use 8-12 metal skewers and kitchen string to close the large cavity. Carefully turn the turkey over so you can put stuffing into the top area. Use 6-8 skewers and string to close that cavity.

Use any kind of roasting pan. Whether you use a disposable aluminum foil pan or an expensive stainless steel roasting pan from William Sonoma, the result will be the same. The important thing to remember is the pan must be at least 2" wider than the turkey, otherwise as the bird cooks, its juices will drip onto the bottom of your stove and make a mess. To insure that the turkey browns evenly, you'll need a wire rack.

Place the turkey on the rack, breast down and put into the oven. After 30 minutes, reduce the temperature to 350 degrees.

After that, every 30 minutes, baste the turkey with the fat that drips down into the pan. If the skin starts to brown too quickly, put an aluminum tent over the top.

After 3 hours, turn the turkey over. With a large bird this is easier said than done because now the turkey is not only heavy, it's very hot.

Another set of hands is a big help here. My wife and I have choreographed this crucial moment. I lift the roasting pan with the turkey out of the oven, placing it on the cutting board. Michelle stands at the ready with a pot holder in each hand. As I lift the rack with the turkey, she removes the pan. I flip the rack with the turkey onto the cutting board, having first put a kitchen towel along the edge to prevent juices from falling to the floor.

We pour all the juices and fat from the pan into a basting bowl, scrapping off the flavor bits on the bottom of the pan to make gravy.

The rack goes back into the pan. The turkey goes onto the rack, breast side up. After a good basting, the turkey goes back in the oven, covered with an aluminum foil tent.

As the turkey continues to cook, if the wing tips and drumstick ends brown too quickly, wrap them in aluminum foil.

Continue basting every 30 minutes. When the turkey is finished, remove from the oven and let rest 5 minutes.

Carve the turkey on a cutting board, removing the wings first, then the legs, thighs, and the breasts. Either place the pieces on the platter whole, to be carved at the table, or sliced for easy serving. Open the cavities and spoon out the stuffing.

Mushroom-Giblet Gravy

While the turkey is cooking, start the gravy.

Yield: 15-20 servings

Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients

2 medium yellow onions, peeled, ends removed, finely chopped
4 garlic cloves, peeled, finely chopped
1 turkey giblet, cooked, grizzle removed, finely chopped
2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary, tarragon, or Italian parsley
1/2 pound mushrooms, brown, shiitake, or portabella, washed, finely chopped or sliced
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cups turkey stock
Sea salt and pepper

Method

Saute the giblet, onions, garlic, fresh herbs, and mushrooms until lightly browned. Add turkey stock and the flavor bits you scraped off the roasting pan, simmer and reduce by 1/3. Taste and adjust the flavors. If too salty, add more stock and a pat of sweet (unsalted) butter.

Reheat before serving.

Turkey Stock

When you're eating Thanksgiving dinner, odds are you aren't thinking about your next meal, but I am. Admittedly, it's a bit obsessive, but before I sit down to join the dinner, all the bones and scraps go into a large pot filled with water. By the time we're clearing the table, the stock is finished.

Turkey stock is rich and flavorful. Perfect for making soups, stews, and pasta sauce, and like chicken stock, freezes beautifully.

Yield: 15-20 servings

Time: 1 hour
Ingredients

1 turkey carcass, skin, scraps
Water

Method

Put the carcass into a large pot. If any of stuffing makes it into the pot, all the better for flavor and richness. Cover the bones with water. Simmer 1 hour. Strain and refrigerate. Pick the meat off the bones to use in a soup or stew.

The stock keeps in the freezer for six months.

Raw Apple Crisp

I keep forgetting to tell you about a rockin' raw dessert I made after I went apple picking... raw apple crisp! I channeled Averie and attempted her recipe without a Vita-mix. Looking back at her pictures, I'm realizing I didn't not use nearly enough agave for the filling--mine wasn't saucy ;) Lip-smacking delicious, I loved this version! A bit healthier than the butter-laden topping that's all too addictive, this is a crust I can feel good about!



Raw Apple Crisp
adapted from Averie
serves 4



1/3c almond meal
2T finely shredded coconut
2 dates, diced
agave nectar
cinnamon, nutmeg, or any other spices you desire
2-4 apples, diced

Add almond meal, coconut and dates in food processor. Add agave until mixture comes together and you can press into a crust (probably 1T or so). After chopping the apples, add agave, cinnamon and other spices, to taste. Press ~1/2 crust recipe into 1 container (I used 4 smaller ones). Top with apples. Divide the rest of the "crust" and crumble on top of the apples. Refrigerate until serving.


What are you waiting for? Go make your own :)

As a bonus, I'll leave you with a picture of a random lunch from this week... baby spinach, roasted butternut squash, quinoa, dried cherries, spinach chicken sausage and a dijon vinaigrette. Mmm...

Fluffer Friday - The Crochet Bikini

Crochet bikinis - crochet anything, really - send a mixed message. On one hand, there's the loose-weave lewdness of sweet lady-parts so covered.

On the other is the 'my mother made this and sells them at the local craft fair' stigma. Not so sexy.

I guess it's not a mystery why our beaches aren't awash with multi-coloured unravelling wool 'kinis.

And here is Friday's Fluffer photo - safe for work. [Link]

Persimmons!!

I'm impressed, you guys all recognized the painted ladies from Full House! When I got back from San Francisco, I had some ripe persimmon pulp waiting to be used. Thanks to my vacuum sealer and the coldest spot on my fridge (verging on freezer), it was still good!

Fuyu persimmons

If you've never had persimmons before, there are two varieties seen in stores (I saw a third in CA!). Fuyu persimmons (as shown above) look like an orange tomato. These can be eaten slightly under-ripe like an apple (skin included). Hachiya persimmons look more like an acorn. These you want to let fully ripen, otherwise it'll be so astringent (due to tannins) you won't want to eat another one... and that would be a shame! When it's ripe, it will be very soft (almost squishy), and you scoop out the pulp (not eating the skin). Hachiya's can be ripened in the freezer if you're short on time, otherwise just leave them at RT. The pulp can be frozen, too!

So what did I do with my persimmon pulp?? I tried Joy's Persimmon Pudding, using buttermilk instead of milk, white whole wheat flour, and baking it with the foil on then off (half the time). I don't even know how to describe this, except moist and yummy! I really enjoyed it... for dessert and breakfast ;)

Persimmon Pudding

I also made a small batch of muffins using Susan's recipe for a Fall Harvest Cake. Incredibly moist (I'm sensing a theme) from the persimmon puree and studded with freshly picked apples, these little cakes disappeared very quickly!

Fall Harvest Muffins

Next time you see these babies in the store, pick some up and treat your tastebuds! Do you have a favorite thing to do with persimmons???

What, you wanted chocolate instead? Click here for Katie's contest!

Loving Winter

The inevitable question: If squirrels hide nuts for the winter, what do pussies store? Tuna fish? Shrimp cocktail? Steak au jus? One can only wonder.

Winter in the northern hemisphere is about staying warm, because cold really happens here. In Australia winter is a kind of limp-wristed summer, a season merely without as much sun, like it's (the sun) gone on vacation for a while and left just the pilot-light burning. Sure the days are shorter and people wear more layers, but it's not 'winter' in the same way that Minnesota has winter. Or Manitoba. They're from the same animal family, but many, many cousins removed.

Open fires and dead animals are a staple of winter, and not just the cooking of. In my top one-hundred list of things to do before I leave this piece of space-time is #76:

"Make Love to the One I Love on Animal Rug in Front of Open Fire."

There it is, right there, below #75:

"Spend Week in Bed with Miss Venezuela (any year will do)".

It's another of those nagging cliché-type thingies, yet still keeps its exoticness. Exoticity? It looks to be a neat thing to do.

Sophisticated people move past making love on dead animals early in life. I think they complete all the standard sexual fetishes and variations before leaving university, which explains a lot about universities. And because I attended universities, but didn't graduate, it explains why I still need to find a woman, a fire, a dead-animal rug, and the time.

This winter, I swear.



Photo from here. [Link]

Funky Cold Medina

She was in bartending school, so it was only fair that I helped with cocktail memorization. Rifling through the index cards, I'd find the most obscure drink recipe and quiz her:

Okay, give me a caipirinha, I'd ask.

2 tsp granulated sugar
8 lime wedges
2 1/2 oz Sagatiba Pura (cachaca)

Muddle the sugar into the lime wedges in an old-fashioned glass. Fill the glass with ice cubes. Pour the cachaca into the glass. Stir well.

Alright, how about a Long Island Iced Tea?

1 part vodka
1 part 1800® Tequila
1 part rum
1 part gin
1 part triple sec
1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix
1 splash Coca-Cola®
1 oz Absolut® vodka
1 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
top with cranberry juice
ice

Pour over ice and top off with cranberry juice.

Mix ingredients together over ice in a glass. Pour into a shaker and give one brisk shake. Pour back into the glass and make sure there is a touch of fizz at the top. Garnish with lemon.

Hmmm. Good. How about a Funky Cold Medina? I asked, with one arched eyebrow.

There's no such drink! She said, implying I was being underhanded.

Sure there is. Her cue-cards didn't contain the recipe for a Funky Cold Medina, which is how we ended up using the internet to research cocktail recipes. That naturally led to us discovering the Pink Squirrel.

Not the drink.

Prize goes to Miss T-Shirt for guessing correctly.

Pink Squirrel (definition one.) [Link]

The Sofitel Hotel Los Angeles and SLS Hotel at Beverly Hills

When the luxury SLS Hotel at Beverly Hills (465 South La Cienega Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90048, 310-247-0400) opened on La Cienega earlier this year, the location put it down the street and into direct competition with the remodeled Sofitel Hotel Los Angeles, formerly Ma Maison Sofitel (8555 Beverly Boulevard, Los Anegles, CA 90048, 310-278-5444).

Given their location on the border between Beverly Hills and West Hollywood, both hotels are a good stop for anyone pursuing business or pleasure in the area. They offer conveniences expected of luxury hotels but their approach to their customers are wildly different.

At Sofitel Hotel Los Angeles, the lobby is dark, backlit, and mirrored, the better to flatter the hotel's patrons with classic Hollywood-style glamor. The rooms, as in all Sofitel's, are devoted to comfort with a French appreciation of spare elegance.

The hallway to the right of the concierge desk leads to the intimate Stone Rose Bar and LA Simon. If you want a designer cocktail in a subdued setting, the Stone Rose Bar is for you. There are enough Martini varieties to keep a conversation going until the wee hours of the morning.

If you're hungry, Chef Kerry Simon serves what he calls "Modern American comfort food with a flair." That means crab cakes with Asian slaw, classic Caesars, freshly made pizzas, roasted chicken, meatloaf, surf and turf, spaghetti with meatballs and a 20 oz. bone-in rib eye so big they call it the "cowboy". Desserts hit high notes on all the standards: creme brulee, apple tart, dark chocolate mousse cake, beignets, and a "junk food sampler" that will take you on a sugar-rush back to your childhood as you eat gourmet versions of cotton candy, cracker jacks, Rice Krispie treats, cupcakes, snowballs, a peanut butter sundae, vanilla bean milkshake, and assorted cookies.

Whether you're a guest or a day-tripper, a great way to enjoy the pleasures of the hotel is to have a Spa-and-Dinner. One of the best dates my wife and I ever had was to arrange simultaneous massages at LeSpa, with a private session in the NanoSpa Immersion Therapy room, as a prelude for a leisurely dinner at LA Simon. Being so perfectly relaxed was a great way to enjoy Chef Simon's food.

The SLS Hotel at Beverly Hills is as elegant and pampers its guests as well but the approach is completely different. From the outside the hotel would appear to be just another large hotel on a busy street, but one step inside the lobby alcove and you know you're not in Kansas any more. The monkeys on the hotel's crest are a pretty good give-away.

SLS prides itself on being witty, hip, and clever. You get that from the way they twist-and-flip their "SLS" moniker which can mean "Style Luxury Service," "Start Living Smartly," "Society's Latest Scandals," or "Shoes Love Shining."

Even before you enter the lobby, you're confronted by larger-than-life flower pots and a silver tea pot. Philippe Starck designed the interiors and much of the art. His playful touch is felt everywhere in the hotel.

An interesting fact about SLS is that only registered guests can enter the hotel lobby. Which is nice if you're a power-broker, politician, athlete, or starlet who wants privacy while you wheel-and-deal in LA.

The lobby has all the creature comforts associated with a luxury hotel but those familiar elements are redesigned with an elegant subversiveness.

A long communal dining table shares the space with a club-like bar area where you can order drinks and appetizers. The bar is off to the left of the entrance where the bartenders work in a room-sized cubbyhole servicing customers seated in the lounge or at the long table. Entering the elevator on your way to your Phillipe Starck-designed room, you appear to join a party already in progress. The walls are lined with back-lit, full-sized photographs of beautiful, hip, stylish, and, presumably, interesting people.

On the roof-top pool, the cabanas and chaise lounges are so over-sized, the feeling you're left with is that you are forever-young, or at least, a child in a Magritte landscape. Sometimes, especially in the rooms, you might confront the dark side of witty-design when you try to sit in a beaded chair or you stumble over something that is sticking out where it shouldn't but overall the effect is delightful.

The rooms are chock-filled with high-tech toys, geared to the iPhone-iPod aficionado. Usually when I arrive at a hotel, when the bellman deposits me in my room I don't take him up on his offer to explain how everything works. In this case, definitely ask, "How do I turn on the lights? Where's the TV?"

There is no question that SLS is in the business of reinventing the hotel experience. They do a great job of making travel fun again.

But there is more. SLS wants the public to visit. If the lobby is off-limits, that's not true of the Bazaar.

The Bazaar was created to house the imagination of chef Jose Andres. Like a culinary Cirque de Soleil, the Bazaar has a lot going on. There is an upscale bar--with those over-sized chairs that make you feel like a kid in a candy store--a very expensive retail store selling art and household objects selected by Philippe Starck, 2 restaurants (Rojo and Blanco), 1 dessert bar, and a dining room reserved for private parties.

Jose Andres' menu is probably one of the most complex and original offerings in Los Angeles. There are traditional Spanish dishes like seared piquillo peppers, toasted bread with fresh tomatoes and Manchego cheese, paella, stuffed green olives, and the best ham you've ever eaten. But Andres trained with world-renowned chef Ferran Adrian so he also offers chemically marvelous creations like liquid olives that are actually olive-essence turned into a gel by the magic of alginate. For those who can afford a playful hit on decadent treats like foie gras, chef Andres serves a cube of that delightfully delicious indulgence on a stick, wrapped inside an airy globe of cotton candy.

At the Bazaar you can have almost anything your heart desires, just be prepared to pay for it. The restaurant is not inexpensive but you'd never know that from the crowds that pack the restaurant every night.

Staying at either hotel is a win-win proposition. There are many luxury hotels in Los Angeles but the Sofitel Hotel and SLS Hotel are unique unto themselves in their very different ways.

This is a dedicated TravelingMom post.

Beloved Mistress, Miss English

It's maddening. The English language can be inspiringly precise, or horrifyingly opaque. With this mercurial tool we attempt to convey to others everything about ourselves: emotions, feelings, ideas, and all kinds of complicated stuff. It's incredible, when you think about it, just how much we can move from our heads to others, and pretty accurately too.

At one time I spoke and read fluent Bahasa, the national language of Indonesia, a much less nuanced tongue. My appreciation of her beauty began when I understood just how much better one can express oneself in English. Maybe the reason she is so valuable is because of her flexibility. We use old words, make up new words, steal words, synthesize words and generally mess with Miss English's undergarments without even asking her first. And yet she blushes not at all.

So I'm in love with Miss English, but she sometimes doesn't love me back. It's probably the fact that I attempt to shove her into a blouse that's too small for her, namely texting, and her boobs keep popping out. I loathe texting. The mis-communications that happen over simple things is astonishing to me, and I wonder if I'm not cut out to text. Perhaps I am trying to dress Miss English for a ball, when all she really wants is an old shirt to go get some groceries.

It's a shame to have this beautiful woman, capable of so many things, only to dress her down with the likes of txtng. She'll always be a Princess to me, no matter how others defile her.


Illustration from here.

San Francisco

Finally, more pictures from last weekend!

The scene below was featured on a tv show... anyone recognize it???


From the Ferry Building...

Winter Spice Tea

Lavender

Buddha's Hands

Persimmons as far as the eye could see!

(I so wanted to take a box of these home in my luggage!!!)

And more from around the city...

Flax crackers with avocado, tomato & Basil (from Alive)

The Golden Gate Bridge

from our Saturday morning run (thanks for the picture Meghann)

Nature's Pride Brunch

Trolley car

the setting sun peeking through the trees

Exactly.

the loot

Some amazing people (I was bad at taking pictures with people, I apologize to those I should've insisted on catching!)

Sues & Chels, Kelly and I

Me & Tina

And finally, pictures (from Sabrina and Tina) of my Nature's Pride demo.

Thanks again Foodbuzz and Nature's Pride!!!!