I didn't answer Meg when she asked if new relationships are held back by the way we made previous relationships work. Do we sabotage fresh love with the baggage and duct tape of those gone before?
The unavoidable answer is yes.
There is a glimmer of hope, however. I believe that simple acknowledgment of the fact of good and bad in life, aka experience, means that in future we can choose better ways of behaving. That will allow for better relationships.
Furthermore, I believe that approaching people with the open, innocent view of the child makes a difference. Even people we know intimately seem different when we consciously drop the history we have with them. Human mental file-keeping is terrible, especially when it comes to others. We make god-awful eyewitnesses.
So my answer to Meg is that although experience cannot be unwound, it need not bind us. If we look upon the world and everyone anew each day, it might make the difference we're looking for.
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