Relationship Chemistry 101

Chemistry was my favourite class in high school. Lessons about electrons, valency and stoichiometry demonstrate how complex and how intricately beautiful our universe is. Plus there was the thrill of sharing the fume hood with Heather Peters. But I feel the knowledge of how matter works can be taken one step further.

Behold, the periodic table:



Incredible how the stuff that makes up everything you see can be so tidily summed. It's awesome, a statement which I suspect will toss me into the nerd hopper.

Notwithstanding, I believe we can use the periodic table as a cipher for human relationships. Let's start with the simplest transaction, that which powers the stars. Hydrogen, the simplest element, combines with more hydrogen to make helium AND lots of energy. We use that energy from our sun to get skin cancer and make summer. Does the idea of one and one making something special ring a bell? That's two people combining to make a family, right? (Note my PC stance please.) The sum of the parts is greater than the whole.

Here's another example: carbon. Carbon is the backbone of the human world, for we are carbon creatures. Carbon is getting a bad rep lately, but that's because it has the worst PR firm in the universe. Carbon is very stable, kind of like parents. They don't change much, always take our calls, and will be there when we need them. Without carbon we'd be nowhere.

Oxygen is a special case. Oxygen will bond with practically anything, making it the slut of the periodic table. Oxygen likes coupling - a quickie with hydrogen results in a sweet bang; an encounter with iron is a long, slow affair; and when she comes across carbon, the result is a great big political mess.

Elements combine in myriad different, but mostly predictable ways to create new entities called molecules. I wonder if humans aren't the same, combining all kinds of 'elements' in different and colourful ways to become the individual and distinct molecules we are.

Then again, I might have spent more time in the chem lab than was good for me. Boy, did I ever want to combine with Heather.



More on this topic: Stereotypes Part One, Stereotypes Part Two.