First Impressions Count

Dress for success. Put on a big smile. Shoulders back, chest out, look confident. It's the recipe we use when meeting someone for the first time because we know that first impressions count.

It's not just in business or social circumstances in which the first encounter sets the tone for all that follows. First sexual encounters make a big difference too, oftentimes leading to someone choosing to accompany you down the rose-petal-and-poon-strewn path or relegating you back to the meals-for-one-and-masturbation path.

Men need to know this, that women will judge your sexual performance from the get-go - so when you get the nod, make certain to be the best you can. My advice is to make one really important assumption: consider your new lady a slut. No matter that you think she might be repressed or prudish or inexperienced, lose those thoughts. Babes mask their freak extremely well.

You have to bring your A-Game for the season opener. Much, much better to go balls-out for everything you can get for the very simple reason is that she's much happier if you find her limit before you find yours. And the best way to find the filth in yourself is to imagine that she's gagging for you to take charge. So take charge, and know that she's having at least as good a time as you.

Let me be clear that I'm not advocating anything without mutual consent. Of course. And because this is only the first heat in (hopefully) a long championship season there are boundaries. Anal penetration probably isn't on the menu, but you never know. Ask first. Sometimes intention is as good as the act. Role-play is too complicated for now, although maybe not. Endurance is important, but to avoid this problem, do your level best to get her off. A quivering girlgasm or twenty will go a long way to cementing that good first impression.

What I'm trying to say, men, is to let go of whatever presumptions you might have about her, and bring whatever fun you've ever imagined sharing. Temper that with ensuring she comes first (literally and figuratively) and honouring common-sense boundaries, and do your best.





Pic (not originally) from here [link]

Edited for a less clichéd illustration, which led to one less relevant.

Novelty Slut

Are you a novelty slut?

In case you're unsure, this is how you'll know.

-> you think conventional wisdom is something your dentist deals with.

-> you understand airport fiction isn't a type of book, it's the security people.

-> reading a newspaper is for between mouthfuls of fish.

-> 'professional sport' is a joke without fencing.

-> you think even fencing is rigged.

-> hardback books are back because Kindle is already so last Christmas.

-> on a date, you've said: "Okay, I'm bored now."

-> travel to China beckons, but your heart lies in Prague.

-> you end up going to Montana.

-> the idea of meeting someone special sounds tedious.

-> friends can last forever, but

-> lovers should make you want to come again.

To her place or his, that is.






Pic from here. [link]

Reid Speed might be a Novelty Slut. [link]

Hat tip to Pink Squirrel for the idea.

Relationship Chemistry 101

Chemistry was my favourite class in high school. Lessons about electrons, valency and stoichiometry demonstrate how complex and how intricately beautiful our universe is. Plus there was the thrill of sharing the fume hood with Heather Peters. But I feel the knowledge of how matter works can be taken one step further.

Behold, the periodic table:



Incredible how the stuff that makes up everything you see can be so tidily summed. It's awesome, a statement which I suspect will toss me into the nerd hopper.

Notwithstanding, I believe we can use the periodic table as a cipher for human relationships. Let's start with the simplest transaction, that which powers the stars. Hydrogen, the simplest element, combines with more hydrogen to make helium AND lots of energy. We use that energy from our sun to get skin cancer and make summer. Does the idea of one and one making something special ring a bell? That's two people combining to make a family, right? (Note my PC stance please.) The sum of the parts is greater than the whole.

Here's another example: carbon. Carbon is the backbone of the human world, for we are carbon creatures. Carbon is getting a bad rep lately, but that's because it has the worst PR firm in the universe. Carbon is very stable, kind of like parents. They don't change much, always take our calls, and will be there when we need them. Without carbon we'd be nowhere.

Oxygen is a special case. Oxygen will bond with practically anything, making it the slut of the periodic table. Oxygen likes coupling - a quickie with hydrogen results in a sweet bang; an encounter with iron is a long, slow affair; and when she comes across carbon, the result is a great big political mess.

Elements combine in myriad different, but mostly predictable ways to create new entities called molecules. I wonder if humans aren't the same, combining all kinds of 'elements' in different and colourful ways to become the individual and distinct molecules we are.

Then again, I might have spent more time in the chem lab than was good for me. Boy, did I ever want to combine with Heather.



More on this topic: Stereotypes Part One, Stereotypes Part Two.