Married male friends enjoy it when I ask:
So, how's life in captivity?
The usual response is some form of personal insult.
Now, I'm not foolish enough to think that married men are unhappy, because the evidence is that they're not. They're wealthier, healthier and likely enjoying a more fulfilling sex life than any singleton. And if they're not benefiting from better and more regular sex, it's their own fault.
My captivity jibe contains just a tiny amount of truth, in that the natural enemy of the single man is his married friend's wife. Wives dislike and discourage single buddies for the same reason men obsess over chickweed in the lawn - exotic species are insidious reminders of the wild kingdom.
The way this tension often resolves is that men gradually give up single buddies. Given the choice between justifying a night out with single men and avoiding explanations to the wife, most will choose the latter. It's a mistake, to the extent that man's mental health is improved by the companionship of other men. The decision to avoid single guys altogether can lead to a decline in all kinds of male friendships; obviously a bad idea.
I think the real trick is to keep the single guys on a restricted venue basis. No titty bars, no big boozy nights, no questionable fellow travelers - and that's up to married guy enforcement. I'd suggest that finding a way to graft a prior single life onto married life before you actually get married is worthy of serious thought. Otherwise you'll find yourself feeling as if you're an exhibit at Seaworld, pretending to enjoy living in a bathtub eating frozen mackerel.
Bottoms Up, Seaworld Dwellers.
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