Proximity Breeds Love

High school is a seething swamp of sexual tension. Conventional thinking has it that it's because every pimply pubescent is a vat of hormones pushing them to rub nasties at any opportunity.

Okay, that's probably true, but there's another overlooked element of high school, which is proximity. In every class, those punks are an arms-length away from the opposite sex. For eight hours a day there are dozens of possible partners around you, close by, sharing the same experience. Everyone's so close.

Workplaces are similar, but not exactly the same. The cubicle stymies contact. Offices with doors separate people. Very few working situations replicate one's teenage years.

But if you want to find a man, find a place with lots of men. If you want a woman, find where the women work. Familiarity breeds interest, not contempt. Being close in an everyday kind of way creates a petri dish in which romance might grow. Like a fungus.




Bottoms Up, Proximates!


Office girl photo from cubicle chic blog [link]

Imperfect Relationships - Wombatgram #10

Getting it right isn't easy.

Click on the Wombatgram for easier reading.



Bottoms Up, Rebounders!

Peaches!

Before apples are taking over my kitchen, I wanted to share this peachy creation with you.  I have The Flavor Bible to thank for inspiring this creation, as my jar of saffron has sat unopened for awhile out of fear ;)  I don't know quite how to describe it...  mellow?  subtle?   I do know that it was delicious, and enjoyed by all!

Saffron Peach Ice Cream
Recipe by Shannon, basic method from The Vegan Scoop

2 cans light coconut milk
2T arrowroot
1/2c evaporated cane juice (I bet brown sugar would also be phenomenal)
scant 1/2t saffron (a pinch)
1T vanilla
3-4 peaches, divided

Measure out 1/4c coconut milk and whisk in 2T arrowroot until smooth, set aside.  Combine the rest of the coconut milk, sugar and saffron in a medium pot and bring to a boil over medium heat. 

While heating, puree 1 large peach in a blender or food processor to yield ~1c puree.

Just as the coconut milk mixture comes to a boil, remove from heat and whisk in arrowroot mixture, vanilla, and peach puree.  Let cool, then refrigerate a few hours until mixture is well chilled.

Dice another peach and set aside.  Churn in an ice cream maker, according to manufacturing directions, adding the diced peach while churning.

Dice the remaining 1-2 peaches and serve with the ice cream!

(You could dice all 3 peaches at once, but they'll start to discolor a bit when stored in the fridge so I wrote the instructions to achieve the brightest colors and peak freshness.)



Thanks to everyone who entered my giveaway and commented on my last two posts!!  Thanks to random.org, the winner of the $90 CSN giveaway is brandi!  Brandi, congrats :)  Shoot me an email, and you'll be ordering some of the Pfalzgraff Cappuccino collection before you know it! 

Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend!  Anyone doing anything fun??

Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite

In the eighties, impending lovers would concern themselves with HIV; in the nineties it was herpes; this decade saw a resurgence of syphilis. All that is history, because from now on, romantic fear will be of bugs.

Bedbugs, to be accurate, which have found a foothold in beds all over the country and are looking to make a home in a mattress near you. Really near you.

(Ohio is allegedly bedbug central, but that's sure to be New York elitists blaming innocent Midwesterners to divert attention.)

Consider this quote from a University of Kentucky study:

95% of U.S. pest management companies surveyed said they had 'encountered a bedbug infestation in the past year'.

Quoted from this Business Week article which neatly summarizes the problem. [link]

We'll look back on the last thirty years as a golden age, a period of insect-free sleep and fearless lying on perfect strangers' beds. Back then, careful folks would insist on blood tests to prove sex-worthiness; from now on they'll want a pest inspector's report.

Chat-up lines will morph, too. Men will sidle up to women in bars and whisper in their ears:

Hey honey, my place got sprayed today. Wanna come back and smell the DDT?

As the New York Times notes, there is no chemical that can reliably kill our new wee bedmates on a large scale. So I'd say it's back to sex on hard surfaces, like bathroom vanity units and hoods of cars. I guess it could be worse.






Bottoms Up, Nibblers!


Pic of lady bedbug from here [link]

Happy Hour in Summer

A piece of advice for men is that it's a waste of time playing the "...does she like me?..." game. No-one knows the answer - maybe she does, maybe she doesn't - so fugheddaboutit, dude.

When you're up to your plums in gums with a woman, that's when you know if she likes you. And make no assumptions, it might just be a sympathy/release/one night thing. There's no telling. Don't make wedding plans.

You, sir, will never divine what she's thinking, so don't try.

Happy Hour tonight had Mr Nights, my local co-conspirator, and your humble correspondent in the company of five hot babes. Sam was there, as was Elizabeth, plus other examples of hawt chick-flesh seemingly happy in a social milieu.

That's the frustrating element. You're a man in a social setting, reigning in the most base instincts you have and...

...I'm sorry, what did you say? I was checking out your breasts, wondering what they'd taste like...

...wow, that's so interesting. Tell me again how you met your ex-husband...

See what I mean? Every road I drive this conversation down is sexual, whereas the gathering was to commiserate Mr Nights' move to Nevada.

Las Vegas. Now that sounds like fun, doncha think?


Bottoms Up, Gamblers!




Vegas woman photo from here [link]

Cranberry Sprint Tri 2010

Location:  Lakeville, MA
Distance:  Sprint (.5mi s, 11.5mi b, 3.1mi r)
Time:  8am start
Weather:  62 heading to the start!
Participants:  350 +/-

Me & Kerstin

Pre-race
Despite yawning the entire ride down, I arrived in Lakeville ready to go (after a potty stop, hehe)!  Check-in was easy, got some Hammer goods (which I've been using on long bike rides, score!) and setup my bike while my dad took a nap rested his eyes.  Found Kerstin, some other BPC friends, and after a pre-race meeting it was go time.

Swim
A few days of rain cooled the temperature of Loon Pond down to 76 (from 82 a week before!).  There were bright green and orange buoys marking the rectangular, counter-clockwise swim... that looked awfully far!  I was in the second wave (with all women under 29), so I didn't have to wait long before we got in the water for the start.  While it wasn't that deep, I made sure to sit down and get my head wet, so it was less of a shock when we starting swimming.  Before I knew it, we were off and it wasn't too long before I was able to settle into my breathing.  There wasn't too much bumping, the most notable thing being the blinding sun on the way back in!  I couldn't quite see the last buoy or shore, but I just kept swimming and did my best to sight.  I had no idea at the time, but at 16:35 I was pretty much on par with my last swim.  A bit of a slippery exit and run back to transition that wasn't all that bad.

Bike
Knowing that the two-loop course that was relatively flat, my goal was to keep a good pace the entire ride.  I got going pretty well and started passing a bunch of women (presumably in my age group).  Coming around for the second loop was a little hairy, as we merged with people just entering the course.  By this time it was also more crowded so I was glad there wasn't much traffic on this open course.  I don't really remember much from the second loop, just tried to stay strong!  I was an idiot and didn't turn on my bike computer until a little ways into the bike, but I was happy to see an average of 19.3mph afterwards!

Run
Given the fact that I had run 3miles all of twice in the last month or two, I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  I was a little shocked to see so few bikes when I got back from transition (I think just the elites), so I tried to be quick putting on my socks (got a blister the time i tried to run w/o them) and sneakers before grabbing my race belt as I left for the run.  While my legs didn't quite feel awesome, I was just glad that my foot didn't hurt!

The first woman to pass me was probably somewhere around 1mile or so.  I couldn't tell which age group she was in, but she was looking good and I knew I had to run my own race and let her go.   Water on the head at the aid station, and then a hill.  A hill?  Alright, well, only one way to go!  Crap, another hill?  This one didn't feel good.  Another woman passed me at some point after mile 2.  This time I knew I had to keep her in my sights, and I was able to stay right behind her.  As we turned the corner and headed back into the park I started to kick and passed her, hoping that the finish line wasn't too far away.  Luckily it wasn't!!

Six seconds ;)

We congratulated each other on a great race, I grabbed lots of water, some orange sections, and Oikos (yay for race sponsors)!    I found out later that she was in my age group and I finished 6 seconds ahead of her ;)  Better yet, I was second in my age group (out of 36)!!  Overall time 1hr 20:29 (77th overall).   Given everything that's gone down this summer, I didn't know if I could pull it off.   To top it all off, I got to watch my recruit finish her first triathlon and spend some time with my dad.   Oh what a day :)

Friday Fluffer - Wedding Night Sex

The prepared man thinks ahead. On the night of his (hopefully one and only) wedding, he wants to be the best he can, so he searches the internet using the following terms:

wedding night sex

Horrified, he discovers that 52% of couples fail to fuck on their wedding night.

He vows he won't be a part of that majority.

Ten Wedding Night Sex Rules. [link]<-----click br="br" for="for" link="link" sfw.="sfw.">
A few more ideas spring to mind, but I'll keep them for my own night of nuptial bliss. Whenever that might be.


Bottoms Up, Brides!

BTW, here's how to find your wedding limousine.



Beautiful bride photo from here [link]