When Do I Talk About My Ex?

When do we fess up about our history?

I wish I knew. It shouldn't be the first thing you talk about on your first date, that's for sure. Alternatively, you could never talk about your exes, which might be a leeettle bit secretive.

My opinion is that this is an entirely individual matter. Some people will want to know about your exes in short order, and others won't. I, for example, won't want to know until ten years after we're married -  I truly don't care.

But let's think about normal people. It seems to me that if you are looking for some information about past dating habits, it's about figuring out where you fit in. Am I of a type, or does she date eclectically? Am I likely to be better or worse - richer, poorer, bigger, smaller? - than the most recent guy/s? Will I measure up?

That last question is the most critical. That's the information we're really after.

Will she see me in a good light and think well of me? What are the comps?

On the other hand, if I don't know about her past interests, there is no comparison to make...

Take me at face value, or don't take me at all.

When people get close, it's natural to want to know about loves left and loves lost. The trick is to be sensitive to the other person's fears and insecurities. Being vague and a little uninterested in talking about exes is a great way to defuse things. Just be aware that even if you don't care about your past, your date might.

In the end, folks want validation that they're okay. I think these are reasonable guidelines:

1. No talk of exes until he/she asks. 


That's it.




Bottoms Up, Sweet Sensitive Ones.

Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite

In the eighties, impending lovers would concern themselves with HIV; in the nineties it was herpes; this decade saw a resurgence of syphilis. All that is history, because from now on, romantic fear will be of bugs.

Bedbugs, to be accurate, which have found a foothold in beds all over the country and are looking to make a home in a mattress near you. Really near you.

(Ohio is allegedly bedbug central, but that's sure to be New York elitists blaming innocent Midwesterners to divert attention.)

Consider this quote from a University of Kentucky study:

95% of U.S. pest management companies surveyed said they had 'encountered a bedbug infestation in the past year'.

Quoted from this Business Week article which neatly summarizes the problem. [link]

We'll look back on the last thirty years as a golden age, a period of insect-free sleep and fearless lying on perfect strangers' beds. Back then, careful folks would insist on blood tests to prove sex-worthiness; from now on they'll want a pest inspector's report.

Chat-up lines will morph, too. Men will sidle up to women in bars and whisper in their ears:

Hey honey, my place got sprayed today. Wanna come back and smell the DDT?

As the New York Times notes, there is no chemical that can reliably kill our new wee bedmates on a large scale. So I'd say it's back to sex on hard surfaces, like bathroom vanity units and hoods of cars. I guess it could be worse.






Bottoms Up, Nibblers!


Pic of lady bedbug from here [link]