Finding the one is like finding the perfect pie.
Bottoms Up, Bakers!
Click on image for larger version.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Sweetie Pie
Finding the one is like finding the perfect pie.
Bottoms Up, Bakers!
Click on image for larger version.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Grill, Baby, Grill: An Easy Summer Pasta with Grilled Corn and Black Kale
Boiled corn slathered with sweet butter and seasoned with sea salt and pepper is delicious. So too is grilled corn where olive oil replaces butter. Lightly browned, the kernels caramelize, adding sweetness and the hint of smoke.
Make extra, so the kernels can be removed and used in green salads, salsas, and--my favorite--pastas.
Tuscan or black kale is widely available in the farmers' markets in large, inexpensive bunches. Adding in mushrooms, onions, garlic, a pat of butter and you're ready to enjoy a delicious lunch or dinner that needs little more than a simple romaine or arugula salad, a glass of wine or an ice cold beer, and you'll have a memorable meal with no more effort and time than it would take to order take out.
Pasta with Grilled Corn and Black Kale
Yield: 4 servings
Time: 30 minutes
Ingredients
2 ears of corn, husk and silks removed, washed
2 links, Italian sausage, washed (optional)1 medium yellow onion, washed, skin removed, root end and top cut off and discarded, roughly chopped
2 garlic cloves, skins removed, finely chopped
1/2 pound shiitake or brown mushrooms, washed, dried, sliced
1 bunch Tuscan or black kale, washed, center stem removed, leaves roughly chopped1/2 box DeCecco pasta, gnocchi, penne, spaghetti, or bowties
1 tablespoon sweet butter
1 cup pasta water
1/4 cup olive oil
Sea salt and black pepper
Grated Parmesan or Romano cheese
Method
If a grill is not available, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Pour the olive oil on a flat plate. Season with sea salt and pepper. Roll the corn through the seasoned oil to coat. Put on the grill or into the oven, turning every 5 minutes to prevent burning. Do the same with the Italian sausage. Roll in the seasoned olive oil and grill or roast. For vegetarians, don't bother with the sausage.
While the corn and sausage are cooking, put a large pot of water on a high flame, seasoned with 2 tablespoons of kosher or sea salt. Don't use ordinary table salt which has a metallic flavor.
While the pasta water is heating, saute the onions, garlic, mushrooms, and kale until softened. If you want the kale more pliable, add 1/4 cup of water and braise for 5 minutes on a medium-high flame.
Put the pasta into the boiling water and stir every couple of minutes to prevent sticking. Use the whole box if you want more pasta.
Cut the kernels off the corn and discard the cobs. Finely chop or cut into rounds the Italian sausage. Add to the kale, together with the sweet butter. Toss well.
Taste the pasta. Drain and reserve 1 cup of pasta water. Put the pasta back in the still warm pot, drizzle with olive oil and season with sea salt and pepper. Toss well. Set aside.
Add 1/4 cup of the pasta water to the vegetables and sausage. Stir well and taste. Adjust seasoning as desired. If more sauce is desired, add a little more of the pasta water.
Pour the cooked pasta into the saute, toss well, adding another 1/4 cup of pasta water. Serve in a large bowl, accompanied with freshly grated cheese.
Variations
Grill or roast a red pepper, discard the seeds and skin, finely chop, add 1/4 cup to the saute.
Add 2 tablespoons chopped, pitted green olives to the saute.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Friday Fluffer - Condom Eiffel Towers
In Holland There are Long Lines at the Herring Shacks
Pickled herring with sour cream and onions was a staple in my house when I was growing up. Every night my dad had several fat pieces on buttered pumpernickel bread. Wanting to connect with him, I would join in. The firm fleshed pieces slathered with sour cream, topped with thin strands of pickled onions took some getting used to, but eating herring wasn't so much a culinary preference as an attempt at father-son bonding.
My dad passed away many years ago and I haven't eaten herring since.
While I was in Amsterdam, I wanted to try the local favorites. The Dutch love Gouda, beer, bitterballen--a crispy fried ball of meat and dough--and, of course, herring. I wanted to try them all.
For Zesterdaily, I wrote about my experience eating herring in Amsterdam. It wasn't what I expected!
There are herring stands in the squares and on the busier canal bridges. Pretty much where ever people congregate you'll find a herring stand. The Dutch way to enjoy them is to eat the herring whole. Pick it up by the tail, tilt back your head, and let the fish descend into your mouth as you greedily ingest it.
Alternately, the fillet is sliced into fat pieces and served either on a plate or a roll with onions and pickles. I had read that a purist prefers the fish without condiments, not wanting anything to get in the way of the simple, clean flavor of the fish.
As people stand in line to buy herring, they crane their heads the better to watch the chef as he prepares the herring. When the fish is taken out of the brining pan, it has already been gutted and deboned. As the last act before serving, the skin and tail are efficiently removed in one quick stroke.
I wanted an authentic Dutch experience, but I wasn't sure I was ready for raw herring.
On a trip to the Friday morning cheese auction at Alkmaar, 30 minutes by train north from Amsterdam, there was a crowded area where vendors sold souvenirs, wax wrapped balls of cheese, pastries, and, of course, herring.
I watched as people pushed past me to grab paper plates of herring. As they ate, they smiled. I took that as a good sign, but even so, it took me a bit of time to work up the nerve to place my order.
I was definitely not going the authentic route of grabbing the herring by the tail and eating it whole. And I opted not to have the roll. Reconnecting with my dad, I chose to eat my herring with onions.
I paid my 1.80 Euros ($2.35 U.S.) and picked up a plate of herring, raw onions, and a pickle. Using the toothpick-flag as a utensil, I tried a fat piece.
Like the best sashimi, the herring melted in my mouth. The fresh tasting fish had a pleasant sweetness, the onions added a crunch, the pickle tartness. All in all, a very good combination. The second bite was as good, but by the third I had started to have second thoughts. I didn't want to waste the fish, so I had a fourth piece, but that was the last.
Ultimately, the fish was just too rich for me.
I needed something else to eat, something that would change the taste in my mouth. I considered some fries (in Holland, call them frites, not "French" fries) but to eat them the Dutch way meant using mayonnaise instead of catsup. That didn't sound any better to me than it did to John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.
On the walk back to the train station, I saw a gelato shop, A.C. de Boer (12 Scharlo), and hoped that cold and sweet might trump the herring taste in my mouth.
There were a dozen flavors to choose from. They all looked good. Ultimately I settled on a scoop of vanilla and one of pistachio. I went outside in the sun and savored the creamy, cold sweetness. The vanilla might have been the best I'd ever eaten. Now I felt better.
Sorry, dad.
While I was in Amsterdam, I wanted to try the local favorites. The Dutch love Gouda, beer, bitterballen--a crispy fried ball of meat and dough--and, of course, herring. I wanted to try them all.For Zesterdaily, I wrote about my experience eating herring in Amsterdam. It wasn't what I expected!
There are herring stands in the squares and on the busier canal bridges. Pretty much where ever people congregate you'll find a herring stand. The Dutch way to enjoy them is to eat the herring whole. Pick it up by the tail, tilt back your head, and let the fish descend into your mouth as you greedily ingest it.
Alternately, the fillet is sliced into fat pieces and served either on a plate or a roll with onions and pickles. I had read that a purist prefers the fish without condiments, not wanting anything to get in the way of the simple, clean flavor of the fish.
As people stand in line to buy herring, they crane their heads the better to watch the chef as he prepares the herring. When the fish is taken out of the brining pan, it has already been gutted and deboned. As the last act before serving, the skin and tail are efficiently removed in one quick stroke.
I wanted an authentic Dutch experience, but I wasn't sure I was ready for raw herring.
On a trip to the Friday morning cheese auction at Alkmaar, 30 minutes by train north from Amsterdam, there was a crowded area where vendors sold souvenirs, wax wrapped balls of cheese, pastries, and, of course, herring.
I watched as people pushed past me to grab paper plates of herring. As they ate, they smiled. I took that as a good sign, but even so, it took me a bit of time to work up the nerve to place my order.
I was definitely not going the authentic route of grabbing the herring by the tail and eating it whole. And I opted not to have the roll. Reconnecting with my dad, I chose to eat my herring with onions. I paid my 1.80 Euros ($2.35 U.S.) and picked up a plate of herring, raw onions, and a pickle. Using the toothpick-flag as a utensil, I tried a fat piece.
Like the best sashimi, the herring melted in my mouth. The fresh tasting fish had a pleasant sweetness, the onions added a crunch, the pickle tartness. All in all, a very good combination. The second bite was as good, but by the third I had started to have second thoughts. I didn't want to waste the fish, so I had a fourth piece, but that was the last.
Ultimately, the fish was just too rich for me.
I needed something else to eat, something that would change the taste in my mouth. I considered some fries (in Holland, call them frites, not "French" fries) but to eat them the Dutch way meant using mayonnaise instead of catsup. That didn't sound any better to me than it did to John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.
On the walk back to the train station, I saw a gelato shop, A.C. de Boer (12 Scharlo), and hoped that cold and sweet might trump the herring taste in my mouth.
There were a dozen flavors to choose from. They all looked good. Ultimately I settled on a scoop of vanilla and one of pistachio. I went outside in the sun and savored the creamy, cold sweetness. The vanilla might have been the best I'd ever eaten. Now I felt better.
Sorry, dad.
Running Fuel
When this posts, I'll be on my way to Italy! I am not traveling with a computer, so please excuse my absence for a bit. I'll be sure to respond to any questions or comments when I return :)
I don't talk alot about nutrition here, in terms of fueling for exercise, because it is very individualized. It took time to figure out what worked for me and what didn't. In fact, I'm still experimenting and trying things out for optimal performance.
When I first started running, my go-to was half a bagel with peanut butter. And I wondered why I had to wait 2-3hrs before I could run without cramping! It took way too long to put it together that pb takes awhile for me to digest. Clif bars? sit. like. a. rock. even when you eat it 2 hours prior to your half marathon. Oops. However you might not have such issues :) (Biking and swimming definitely pose less problems!)
After my peanut butter revelation, I switched to Luna bars when I needed fuel before a run. These worked, and were portable when I was racing out of town, but I still needed some time to digest them. At some point last winter ('08-'09) I discovered by sheer accident that I could run not long after eating a Pure bar! I was a little skeptical at first, but realized that the dried fruit (dates and other fruit) are easy to digest and provide enough quick-burning fuel for me. Elina tried my bar after completing her half marathon (congrats again!!) and asked me to share the recipe, so here's it is. I reserve the right to keep tweaking it, too!
Running Fuel (aka Fruit & Nut Bars)
Recipe by Shannon
I was trying to recreate the Pure bar, which uses agave and brown rice protein. I don't have any protein powder right now, so I left it out, but like the idea of adding some to add some staying power. The agave can help the bars together, but they also impart a softer texture. In the summer heat, I've left it out, but it works both ways!
165g pitted Medjool dates
165g dried fruit (cherries, blueberries, apples... I had an antioxidant blend this time)
50-75g nuts (almonds, cashews, walnuts... I used a blend of all 3)
15-30g agave (optional)
5g brown rice protein (optional)
Roughly chop dates and dried fruit. (I found I needed to do this for a more uniform mixture in my food processor) Add dried fruit and nuts to the bowl of a food processor and blend until well combined. Drizzle in agave if desired and run until the mixture comes together (it will start forming a ball). Remove mixture and portion into whatever sizes you desire. I made 10 bars from the amounts shown, each about 30g. I wrap them up in a small piece of saran and store them on the fridge until I grab one and go!
What's your preferred pre-race nutrition?
I don't talk alot about nutrition here, in terms of fueling for exercise, because it is very individualized. It took time to figure out what worked for me and what didn't. In fact, I'm still experimenting and trying things out for optimal performance.
When I first started running, my go-to was half a bagel with peanut butter. And I wondered why I had to wait 2-3hrs before I could run without cramping! It took way too long to put it together that pb takes awhile for me to digest. Clif bars? sit. like. a. rock. even when you eat it 2 hours prior to your half marathon. Oops. However you might not have such issues :) (Biking and swimming definitely pose less problems!)
After my peanut butter revelation, I switched to Luna bars when I needed fuel before a run. These worked, and were portable when I was racing out of town, but I still needed some time to digest them. At some point last winter ('08-'09) I discovered by sheer accident that I could run not long after eating a Pure bar! I was a little skeptical at first, but realized that the dried fruit (dates and other fruit) are easy to digest and provide enough quick-burning fuel for me. Elina tried my bar after completing her half marathon (congrats again!!) and asked me to share the recipe, so here's it is. I reserve the right to keep tweaking it, too!
Running Fuel (aka Fruit & Nut Bars)
Recipe by Shannon
I was trying to recreate the Pure bar, which uses agave and brown rice protein. I don't have any protein powder right now, so I left it out, but like the idea of adding some to add some staying power. The agave can help the bars together, but they also impart a softer texture. In the summer heat, I've left it out, but it works both ways!
165g pitted Medjool dates
165g dried fruit (cherries, blueberries, apples... I had an antioxidant blend this time)
50-75g nuts (almonds, cashews, walnuts... I used a blend of all 3)
15-30g agave (optional)
5g brown rice protein (optional)
Roughly chop dates and dried fruit. (I found I needed to do this for a more uniform mixture in my food processor) Add dried fruit and nuts to the bowl of a food processor and blend until well combined. Drizzle in agave if desired and run until the mixture comes together (it will start forming a ball). Remove mixture and portion into whatever sizes you desire. I made 10 bars from the amounts shown, each about 30g. I wrap them up in a small piece of saran and store them on the fridge until I grab one and go!
What's your preferred pre-race nutrition?
The Boner Gap
An awkward few seconds lurk in the space between knowing she's ready and crossing the moat. The preparatory work is done, according to the following checklist:
A. Girl nearby.
B. Aroused girl nearby.
C. At least partially naked girl nearby.
(Note: These first three points might be the same girl, or three, YMMV.)
D. Boner. (Your own.)
E. Condom.
Okay, now to connect your erect penis with the willing pussy. Time to bust out the condom.
Quickly now, the clock's running.
Another checklist:
A. Locate condom.
B. Tear open condom packet.
C. Retrieve that sucker from the packet.
D. Make sure you avoid the inside-out error.
E. Roll condom on penis.
F. Fully unfurl said prophylactic.
G. Insert properly outfitted manhood into luscious love trench.
What's the timing on that? Should we say between ten and thirty seconds?
We need a name for that gap. My suggestions include:
The Boner Gap.
The Keep it Up Interregnum.
Don't Let me Down, Dude, Gap.
Say Flaccid and I'll Kill You Gap.
The Why Hasn't Condom Packaging Improved in 100 Years Gap.
The How Bad Would a Baby Be Anyway? Gap.
Bottoms Up, Condomistas!
Pic of pigtailed aweseomeness from here [link]
Hat-tip to Snaf for the inspiration.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Interview Technique and the Sock Drawer
Interviews are, like, totally the dumbest way to judge whether you should employ someone. Anyone you would want to employ will be smart enough to hide the character flaws and criminal intent you're looking to unearth, and yet you shouldn't employ them because they're flawed criminals.
Did that make sense?
Midway through one interview, I was asked to multiply 999 * 999 whilst seated facing three stern men. The stupid thing is that I had prepared for this kind of thing (plus counting backwards in 7s from 103.) Previous contenders had set up a study course based on exit interviews, so anyone going in had a pretty good idea about the whereabouts of crevasses.
Dating is the same thing as a job interview. Granted, there's a blurring of the line between interviewer and interviewee. Roles can reverse. But in essence it's about asking questions and reading the answers.
Trouble is that we're all expert at masking. Straight-out honesty is often more difficult than telling the story we have in mind about ourselves, a story that might not necessarily be the whole truth. When they ask you "So, why do you want to work here?" has anyone ever told the truth?
In an ideal world, interviews would be held in the interviewee's bedroom. You can tell way more about a person from the state of their house or apartment or trailer than you can by asking them. It's not what people say that matters, it's what they do.
Same with dating. As soon as you can, get to your new friend and possible lover's place and check out their sock drawer. Guaranteed all the answers lie therein.
Bottoms Up, Sock Drawers!
Excellent pic of socked lady from here [link]
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