When do we fess up about our history?
I wish I knew. It shouldn't be the first thing you talk about on your first date, that's for sure. Alternatively, you could never talk about your exes, which might be a leeettle bit secretive.
My opinion is that this is an entirely individual matter. Some people will want to know about your exes in short order, and others won't. I, for example, won't want to know until ten years after we're married - I truly don't care.
But let's think about normal people. It seems to me that if you are looking for some information about past dating habits, it's about figuring out where you fit in. Am I of a type, or does she date eclectically? Am I likely to be better or worse - richer, poorer, bigger, smaller? - than the most recent guy/s? Will I measure up?
That last question is the most critical. That's the information we're really after.
Will she see me in a good light and think well of me? What are the comps?
On the other hand, if I don't know about her past interests, there is no comparison to make...
Take me at face value, or don't take me at all.
When people get close, it's natural to want to know about loves left and loves lost. The trick is to be sensitive to the other person's fears and insecurities. Being vague and a little uninterested in talking about exes is a great way to defuse things. Just be aware that even if you don't care about your past, your date might.
In the end, folks want validation that they're okay. I think these are reasonable guidelines:
1. No talk of exes until he/she asks.
That's it.
Bottoms Up, Sweet Sensitive Ones.
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