The Dating Checklist

Gradually, it's becoming clearer to me that a wish list - a dating wish list - isn't as productive as I might have thought.

That mental checklist we all keep of the qualities and attributes of that special someone is normal and of some value, but we always need to be willing to toss it away. The very act of permitting ourselves to ignore our preconceived ideas of who is right and who is wrong for us is liberating. It's an acknowledgment of the fact that life is chaotic, and we never know who is just around the corner.

The idea of filtering people appeals to us because it cuts down on possibilities. When you're in the market for people, the choice is more-or-less infinite. It's more confusing than the cereal aisle at the supermarket, but even there knowing what you want should give way to the experience of finding something new. When you want granola and know it, that's a good thing - until you discover something better.

But finding the person who meshes perfectly (or as perfectly as possible) isn't so simple. For one thing, we are only rarely sufficiently self-aware to know how we fit with any random person. For another, life has a way of throwing stuff and people at us that we just didn't think existed. In essence, we all think that our brains and experience are all-encompassing, and that nothing can surprise us. That's a form of arrogance, and not good if you're truly open-minded about exploring every possibility offered up.




Bottoms Up, Open-Minders.