Online dating runs on a kind of dreamlike fantasy. Folks live in hope that the right person will pop into their search criteria, and, perhaps after a few mis-steps and poor choices, everything will work out just right. And if it isn't working like that, just one more date will do the trick.
Surely this is a special form of self-punishment? In my experience, people I met online needed to start with a negative two or three date handicap compared to people I've met in real life. In other words, it takes me a couple of face-to-face meetings before I'm even convinced they're vaguely who they say they are online. Call me cynical if you like, but I think it's smart to be skeptical.
I think it's worse for women, by the way. Online dating sites are chock full of guys pretending to be someone they think you want them to be - not who they really are. If it isn't clear to you by now, online dating attracts sociopaths (and probably psychopaths) like Lindsay Lohan attracts traffic charges. Women could do worse than to use my handicapping system.
But I smell a change in the air. I haven't been on Match for a long time, but I noticed recently that they now conduct (host?) real life gatherings for their customers. Bravo. This is a step in the right direction, not least because groups of onliners can check out not only their chosen person of interest, but everyone else too. Just like people used to meet.
Another service I really like is How About We... I discovered them on a business video, where the two principals talked about how and why they started. To me, this is the perfect blend of online and offline dating. The idea, as I understand it, is to get into the real world as quickly as possible, to begin live dating ASAP. To that end, they facilitate the sometimes fraught process of finding, choosing and agreeing on a place to go, or activity to share. Brilliant.
I've not been paid or contacted by the How About We people to write this; I simply think it's a great idea. If anyone has experienced their service, I'd love to hear about it.
Bottoms Up, Offliners.
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