Wake Up and Make Love to Me

I should have learned more at the feet of the master.

A housemate from my youth had the whole thing wired. He had carefully figured strategy, kept mental catalogues of tactics, and knew how to close. Never, men, underestimate the power of a good close. This guy had so woven the chasing and conquest of women into his life that a trip to the post office was, for him, as ripe with opportunity as a Friday night at our local meat-market.

It's important to note that he created his...what shall we call it?...art, around who he was. Artifice and posturing were kept to a minimum so that at times of stress, he didn't need to remember what to say. Everything flowed naturally from his personality.

Mind you, the smooth and successful end result required a lot of practice and discipline. Repetition and habit, he always said, were the key. Just do the same stuff over and over, so that when the babe for whom that shit works finds herself standing next to you, she is powerless.

One morning, I was having coffee when one of his ladies rushed downstairs and out the front door.

Morning Wombat!

Morning Kimbo!

She wore a big grin.

Later I asked my buddy why they were all so chipper when they left.

"Oh, that's easy," he replied. "From the very first night they stay, I insist on having a morning meeting with them."

You mean you boff them in the morning?

"Right. But I make a game of it, with a little role-play. They play minute-taker for the meeting, and I'm the chair." 

 He smirked.

I must have looked quizzical. He looked disappointed in me.

"The key is that she has to take the 'minutes' on the bed. That naturally puts her butt in the air. We avoid the whole morning breath thing, we don't have to look at each other after a big night, and she gets to call it her morning meeting rather than dawnbuster or some such."

"Once is enough. Then they're hooked. They often wake me up and say it's time for their morning meeting." 

"Plus, if they're late to work, they can simply say Sorry, there was a morning meeting I had to take."









 Bottoms Up, Stenographers.