How To Date A Supermodel

How to date a supermodel:

Step 1: Find your supermodel.

Step 2. Ask her out on a date.

Shame on you. You thought this would be tricky. She's just another woman, you know, not some kind of deity with a décolletage.

Granted, supermodels are a little thin on the ground, especially if you live in Waukegan or Wolverhampton. Likewise, you're unlikely to bump into one ordering a number one combo at McDonalds. But if you own an eighty metre-long yacht, spend mucho time in Monaco and vacation sixty-three weeks a year, the odds are better. In fact, hot babes in bikinis are probably lining up to express their affection right now. Why not go for the crème de la crème?

For one thing, supermodels always feel a little unhinged to me. You would be too if everyone within tonguing distance was tossing your salad and telling you how awesome you are. A certain unreality would come to seem normal. Unfortunately, unreality creeps towards insecurity, insecurity leads to paranoia, paranoia to drug abuse, and drug abuse to constipation, a (ahem) regular supermodel ailment I'm led to believe.

So that's the up and down of supermodel pursuit. You get to be chased by paparazzi and have your melon photographed with a famous chick; she gets to sit on your pedestal. 




Bottoms Up Bar Rafaeli fans.