Thinking you're a good Wingman and exhibiting good Wingman skills aren't the same thing. A useful Wingman should...well, just what constitutes a good Wingman?
A competent Wingman or Wingwoman should:
-> Act in the interests of the Leader at all times
-> Put themselves second in the pursuit of a mate (deferring to the Leader)
-> Do whatever works in attracting likely love interests (for the Leader)
-> Give honest and accurate feedback to the Leader
Wingmanship is all about unselfishness and reflecting of one's ability to attract (however small) back onto the other guy. It's like being a birdfeeder next to a cat's hiding place. Here birdie, look at the tasty sunflower seeds.
But when my Leader said the following, he needed to hear the truth:
Okay, Wombat. When Stephanie comes in, I want you to find a way to let her know that I'm interested, but I need to know she's not just being touchy-feely, and really wants to be touchy-feely.
Hmmm. This sounds bad. Male uncertainty resolves only rarely in his favour. And, as expected, Stephanie arrived in a wave of perfume and hugs...for everyone. She did reserve special attention for my Leader, but the energy shouted "amused interest" rather than "take me now". Although I have to say there was a spark of something there, to which my buddy had assigned sexual possibility.
So I invoked Wingman's Responsibility #4. He needed to know that while Steph was certainly worthy of his exploration, the green lights he saw where faux. His instinct was telling him this, hence my involvement.
When she's really interested, you'll be in no doubt, I advised. Oh. And when she's over her ex.
Bottoms Up, Wingpeople.
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