Friday Fluffer - Soy Jism

Local television news rocks. If it weren't for the FCC these shows would instantly turn porno. My fellow Aussie, Mr Murdoch, employed NYC hottie Rosanna Scotto with this in mind. Cocks and cum are on her mind. Good girl.

You will not regret reading and watching this Gothamist SFW [link].

Or watch here if you're inclined.





Bottoms Up, Vegans!




Pic of Rosanna covered in white from here [link]

Ejaculate: You'll Make Her Happy

Reading Snaf's and KayDee's blogs recently has been a little like being backstage watching the audience reaction to a new Broadway production. The show - a musical, methinks, called Let the Spunk Fly - is a physical show, full of nudity and grunts that has a climax with a twist: there is no climax.

All of us backstage are men, in on the plot twist. And those in the audience are all women, who have no idea what's about to happen.

The real trick of the show is that the women leave thinking that something's happened, when in fact nothing has.

Okay, okay, enough of the smart-arse metaphors.

It looks like lots of chicks are surprised that they're not the only ones providing artificial orgasms. My reaction is everyman's - Huh? You mean I fooled you the way you fooled me?

Frankly, I really don't care that much. Sometimes I won't want to express my reproductive fluids, but it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. There's always next time. And we got to spend naked or semi-naked fun time together, right?

My question of women is: What else don't you know about your men?


Bottoms Up, Fuckers!

POM Wonderful

Ryan from POM Wonderful recently sent me a free box of their juice to play with.  Like everything lately, I've been a bit behind in putting it to good use, but I have come up with some goodies!   While I'm not an avid juice drinker, the absence of added sugar and plentiful antioxidants makes POM one of my favorites.   When I got about to figure out what to do, I discovered that grenadine was originally made from pomegranate juice??  I had no idea :)  Sounds much better than that HFCS-laden syrup I recalled using way back in the day!!

Love the cute 8oz bottles!

Grenadine


1c POM juice
1/2c cane sugar
splash of orange blossom water (optional)

Heat the POM and sugar until dissolved (in the microwave or on the stove).  Remove from heat, add a splash of orange blossom water.  Once cooled, transfer to an airtight container and store in the fridge.

I saw quite a few variations on the recipe, including some that reduced the juice by half, but I thought that seemed more like making pomegranate molasses.  You could also add in a little vodka to help preserve the grenadine if you're not planning on using it right away.


I love the tart frozen yogurt places that have opened up in Boston, and have recently been getting the pomegranate flavor with semisweet chips and raspberries.  The first thing I wanted to do when I got the juice was to try and recreate this at home!  I'm sharing the recipe that I used with what was already in my fridge, but I would make some changes as it froze very hard (evidenced by the picture, I was unable to get a good-looking scoop).  I'm not a chemist, but I think it needed either a higher percentage of fat and/or a splash of liquor to help the consistency after being frozen for a day or two.

Tart POM Yogurt w/Chips
Recipe by Shannon


The sweetness of this frozen yogurt can be adjusted according to your tastes.  Mine wasn't too sweet, and just what I was after.  If you'd like less of a tang, add a bit more sugar!

2c POM juice
1/2c grenadine (see above)
2c greek yogurt (use 2% or higher, otherwise it will be too hard)
1T pomegranate liquor or vodka
1/2c semisweet mini chips

Whisk together juice, grenadine, yogurt and liquor until well combined.  I found that I didn't need to heat this at all, but my grenadine may have been warm enough to help it come together.  Refrigerate for an hour or more, to make sure the mixture is chilled.  Churn according to manufacturers directions, adding the chips towards the end of churning!


I went for my first bike ride outside with my second cousin last weekend, so I brought him and his wife some Dark Chocolate POM Brownies.  I just made them in a 9"pan instead of making individual brownie cups and frosting them.  May have kept 1 or 2 for myself...  they didn't all fit in the container ;) Can't say the pomegranate flavor was that prominent, but they were still yummy.

I also figured I could use some of the POM juice to bake something for work.  I decided on a POM Velvet Cake w/POM Cream Cheese Frosting.  Yeah...  cream cheese frosting is right up there with peanut butter frosting in that I should not have it in the house.  At least most of it ended up on the cake ;)  Again I couldn't quite pick out the pomegranate in the chocolate cake, but it probably did add a certain dimension to the flavor.  Pomegranate definitely came out in frosting, adding a subtle tart that helped keep the frosting from becoming too sweet.    Nobody complained :)

Need more ideas?  How about caramel sauce, jello or truffles??  There are quite a few savory options out there too (especially with pomegranate molasses)!  What's your favorite way to use pomegranate juice??

Thanks again Ryan and POM Wonderful!!

She's Into Superstition.

Me, I'm a Taurean.

That makes me:

Patient and reliable
Warmhearted and loving
Persistent and determined
Placid and security loving

On the dark side that makes me:

Jealous and possessive
Resentful and inflexible
Self-indulgent and greedy


Some kind of package, eh?

Astrology is a truly clever invention, because it preys upon our need to know. I want to know how the world views me; I want to know how I fit; it's fascinating to predict the future; it's comforting to know I'm better off with a Virgo than an Aquarian.

The fact that astrologists, palm-readers, psychics, seers, taroists and sundry other future-gazers can still make a living shows how desperately we are - we need to know anything about ourselves we don't already know. Fear of the unknown, especially the future, is a vestige of our less knowledgeable past.

But not knowing the future is a problem only if you think it is. Imagine if you had a printout of the course of your life from now until the hour of your death; would that make the days between now and then less stressful?

See, I think that remaining calm in the face of chaos and the randomness of the universe is the great adventure. If you accept the unknown, you don't resent what happens, and if you can stay flexible and philosophic, you don't mind what happens.

That's why I would think carefully about a girlfriend with a heavy astrology or tarot habit - it strikes me as slightly nutty. But that's because I'm a Taurus, and we can be judgmental.



Bottoms Up, Stargazers.




Mrs Ann's sandwich board from here [link]

Cupcakes

I went on a sixth date last night. I wasn't my sixth date, you understand, which sounds like eating a cupcake without the frosting, but a sixth date it was. In fact the daters were strangers to me, and I didn't even know we were all on the date together until after the first bottle of wine. Which is exactly how these things should go.

Date six is pretty close to the perfect time to introduce the rest of the world to a relationship. At that point there's enough understanding and empathy for the couple to weather the inevitable new stuff that crops up about each other. Questioners and cynics like me are the worst people to have around, because directness has unintended consequences.

Despite that, I'm wondering if it might be the smart way to go about easing a new relationship into the universe - first introduce it to strangers rather than friends or family. Strangers don't know exes, history or quirks, which leaves them only with observation and perspective. What better way to close a few small gaps between newbies than an evening chatting with a dispassionate but well-disposed unknown? Perhaps I can turn this into a business - a kind of third wheel dater to check if you're both ready for the big leagues of Thanksgiving or your mother's birthday party.

I am relieved to say that that the (very cool and entirely charming) couple looked quite on track for a seventh date when I excused myself. In fact, I'd say they looked like they'd both discovered a limitless supply of cupcakes with frosting in (on?) each other.



Bottoms Up, Cupcakes!


Cupcake with cupcakes from here [link]

Odds and Ends

This weekend I had a few things that needed to be used asap, and I was glad to get back in the kitchen!   Too much going on to come up with my own recipes, I turned to my recipe stash and came up with some good ones.

With the over ripe squished bananas I picked up on the cheap, I made Camilla's Banana Toasted Millet Muffins.  I used all white whole wheat flour, sucunat instead of brown sugar,  my yogurt was greek, and I threw in some dark chocolate covered cacao nibs that had been hiding in the back of my pantry!  Mmm, the little crunch from the millet and melty chocolate...  these were good.

Banana Toasted Millet Muffins

Now, what to do with the roasted buttercup squash that you forgot you had?   Well, I'm so glad it hadn't gone bad, because I got the chance to try one of Dawn's amazing creations.  Seriously, she comes up with some outrageous looking goodies and has me drooling on a regular basis!   I used the squash in her Sweet Potato Cheddar Cookies, and wow.  She hits all the right notes with these!   Serendipity, really, I also had some Dubliner that needed to get used :)  I actually wasn't sure I could taste the cheese when I sneaked a bit of the batter before baking, but it was definitely there after baking.   I left out the raisins (didn't have any) and my only other changes were to use Smart Balance 50/50 sticks and white whole wheat flour.

Squash Cheddar Cookies

One last thing, that I've been meaning to discuss!!  Remember when I introduced you to CSN stores?  They're actually a Boston-based online retailer for tons of (not just home) goods.  Not only can you browse cookware, but if you're in the mood to rearrange your living room, perhaps one of their corner tv stands will help maximize your space?  I'm going to be doing a product review for them in the upcoming weeks, but in the mean time-- check out one of their many stores for whatever you might need!

Another Notch on my Bedpost.

Another weekend passed without scoring, another play period without a notch carved on my bedpost. At the moment I'm suffering from sweeheart deficiency disorder, for which I shall soon be obtaining treatment. It's gotta a be a syndrome of some sort; a chronic problem like this must be treatable with a really expensive drug.

And by the way, why do we surreptitiously keep score? What difference does the total number of people with whom we have conducted coitus make? If my instinct is correct there's a curve out there that looks something like the trajectory of a low-orbit rocket launch - after a certain number of partners, it's all just floating about in space.

I would like to create a large-scale experiment. Men on the hunt for pussy would split into two groups. The first group would, during the chat-up phase, say they'd had sex with only two women ever in their lives. The other half would explicitly make mention that they'd had sex with twenty women. What's your bet as to the outcome?

And what's with all that notches on bedposts carpentry b.s. anyway? It's SO two centuries ago. Surely there's an iPhone app for that now. Sheesh. I wish these metaphors would automatically update.




Bottoms Up.


Stud from here [link]

Edited for split infinitives.