It's Just a Little Kiss

If you and I were anthropologists from another galaxy, I'm sure we'd want to know more about kissing. What is this behaviour, and why do these humanoid life forms engage in it?

Kissing is perennially popular, for a start, which is a hint as to how enjoyable it is. That act of putting my lips to her lips is irresistible. Smell and taste a female once, you're hooked. Y'all are so soft and creamy, like a delicious cake, only an alive cake that kisses back. Hmmmm, perhaps not the best simile.

My first real make-out session was with Anna R. (Surname withheld so as not to embarrass her in her current marriage and high-profile public figurehood.) I can still taste her saliva and lip-gloss mix, not only because it's a life-changing act, but but because in the dark of a movie cinema, one's senses of smell and taste work overtime. Oh yes, the cinema was then the best place for teen snog-sessions, much like the drive-in movies were for the prior generation. I think Anna was further along the snog/sex continuum than I was, looking for more than just an hour of high-energy mouth-love. But I was happy and grateful and really only qualified for a snogfest. Anything more would have been an act too far.

Which brings me to the whole question of tongue interaction. As interstellar anthropologists, I'm certain we'd wonder precisely what pleasure results from such a thing. In the cool clear light of day, the idea of tongues engaging in the way we do when we kiss is at the very least a mystery. No doubt the internet has plenty of theories, but it seems to me it's all about connection. In some fundamental way, because we eat, speak and taste the world through our mouths, sharing that space with another person is as close a connection we can have without actual intercourse. 

It's telling that prostitutes reputedly consider kissing a John's mouth to be much more intimate than taking his cock into her mouth.  

My only point of concern about making out is that we so often think it's only a lead-up to more sexual activity. The joy of kissing as a destination of itself is worth consideration.



This link to a terrific BBC World Service Radio show about kissing, courtesy La Tigresse.

Bottoms Up, Crazy Snogging Fools.

Horror Movie

I feel I have to tell you that whenever I watch a movie and a couple kiss, I have to turn away.

Zombies with arms torn off, bloody violence, Fight Club - none of these raises my blood pressure one point. But that close-up of a big smooch with that swelling music ensures that I look away from the screen and imagine myself elsewhere.

Phew. That feels better.






Bottoms Up, Kissistas!

Kiss Types

Reward offered.



Bottoms Up, Snoggers!



Click on Wombatgram for larger image.

Good Morning Kiss

Another reason (if you're single) to find a mate is to make certain you start each day right - with a morning smooch. People everywhere wake up and pucker up, a sensible ritual that might even aid your health.

I read about a study recently where 500 people, both couples and singles, kept a diary about their morning kissing schedule. The results were surprising only to the extent of the scale of the benefit to those who made a point of kissing their mate upon waking. On average, the men lived around 1 year and three months longer than their non-kissing peers, and women likewise lived around 1 year five months longer.

Actually, I totally made that up. There is no such study, although it would be fascinating to see. But I bet you had a positive reaction. It feels right to us that a morning kiss is good for you. And you know what? I'd put money on the fact that couples who deliberately have a kiss and a cuddle in the morning do in fact live longer. And those who have sex as soon as they wake live forever. Okay, I made that up too, but I got you thinking.

That's the wonder of relationships. I believe we can influence our happiness, and even our longevity, by being even the tiniest bit conscious of how we think and how we communicate, especially with our sig oth. Even if you get out bed on the proverbial wrong side, a thoughtful kiss might well mitigate your mood.






Pic from here.[link]

Kiss and Tell

I often wish I had a Secret Squirrel video camera, a fabbo gadget worthy of James Bond. I would use it to record conversations with men when they're talking about sex, and show the results to women.

Huge generalization, but there would be basically three kinds of conversations:

Did you boff that girl, what's her name, Laura, last night?

Nah. But I'll be upending her real soon, I know it.

Cool.

~~~~~~~~~~

Or, alternatively:

So did you boff that girl, what's her name, Laura, last night?

Yep.

How was it?

Let me tell you my friend, I am the studdliest of studs.

Is she any good in the cot?

Yep.

~~~~~~~~~~

And finally:

Did you boff that girl, what's her name, Laura, last night?

Nope. She basically told me to get lost.

Shit.

Yep.

~~~~~~~~~~

I can tell you that talking in depth about sex isn't something most guys I know are good at. When we're shooting the breeze, the concern is more about being seen to be potent - the strength or flavour of the encounter (or any other nuance for that matter) is less important than the fact that we're getting some.

Opening up with details leaves us vulnerable to criticism of our technique and possible derision. It's the ego talking, but we tend to think of ourselves as Vicomte Sébastien de Valmont; sexually expert, devastatingly knowledgeable, and utterly irresistable. Plus an expert in Latin.

It's a terrible conceit, and obviously fallacious. But admitting to a buddy that you fumbled her bra clasp, couldn't find her clitoris, almost shoved it up her arse, and couldn't figure out if she came would be way too embarrassing.

Instead we say next to nothing. Life is simpler that way.

French Kissing

There appears to be a lot of confusion about just what constitutes French Kissing. One definition is 'Upstairs shopping for downstairs business.'

Why it is called 'French' as opposed to 'Manhattan Kissing' or 'Inuit Kissing' is a mystery.

Wait, it couldn't be Inuit Kissing, because those folks rub noses. Ah-hah.

By inference then, 'Manhattan Kissing' would be 'Mid-Town shopping for Wall Street business.' Hey, I just think I've coined a new term, although it puts a new spin on 'working on Wall Street.'

Where were we? Ah, French Snogging. I have no idea why this is such a problem; it is full-lipped kissing with tongue interaction. Get it while you can.