How long does it take to know another person? If you're dating with a view to marriage, the magic time appears to be around the eighteen month mark. If accurate (or even close) that leads to a few unavoidable truths.
-> If you have been dating someone for longer than two years, and marriage isn't explicitly on the horizon, it probably won't happen.
-> After dating for longer than two years, if the question of marriage appears obliquely or indirectly, you probably shouldn't marry that person.
-> Excessively speedy marriages ie: those within six months of meeting, are likely to founder because you really don't know the other person.
-> When you're dating and learning about your possible long-term partner, often the only way to smoke out problems is to ask pointed questions eg:
~ do you or any of your family have a history of depression or other mental problems?
~ do you have any addictive traits, for instance alcohol, drugs or gambling?
~ do you want children or not, and how many if so?
~ do you think you can change me (other than perhaps my wardrobe)?
~ will you need me to be with you all the time, or will I have some independence?
Too often we float along in a cloud of denial, thinking that when the time comes, it'll all work out.
No it won't.
Life will throw sufficient variables at you - deliberately taking on stuff that doesn't jive with your own life-story is asking for heartache multipliers beyond that which will test any relationship.
Better to face the difficult questions, then say NO, even if your dreamboat appears to be the One. Leave the fog of fantasy and get tough. Relationships don't survive pussies.
Bottoms Up, Tough Guys.
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