First dates are a stressful beast, best avoided. All very well, but unless you're already with someone or have taken a vow of celibacy, skipping the Big Number One is impossible.
Oh, we could try some word-play, by calling it "meeting for coffee" or "getting together for a cocktail" but we all know a first date by any name is still a first date: in essence, it's a job interview.
Separating the first date from merely meeting someone is the unspoken fact that sex is on the table. Perhaps not immediately, but at some point, both parties are sizing up the other as not only a potential day-to-day partner, but a sexual partner as well. Let's say that if sex isn't on the table, it's certainly lurking under the table.
Subtext. Sex is the subtext on all first dates. Which is a pity, because we all know that thinking about sex - even peripherally - leads to dumbing down the rest of our thought process. When Mr Penis or Misses Ovaries take over, deep thought is deep-sixed. That's my experience.
In any case, I'm trying to re-formulate the First Date, thinking of ways to make it less charged, and more like two people spending time in new company. If you have any ideas about the kind of questions you would like to ask, or would like asked of you on such a date, I'd be keen to know.
How can we connect and communicate better?
Bottoms Up, Thinkers.
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