The answer is self-generating, but I wonder how our choice of partner would change if no-one else knew who they were, or what they looked like.
In other words, disregard the idea that you and your lover will ever be seen together in public. And no-one will ever know you're intimate and happily so with that person. How would that affect your ideal?
I imagine the social and familial acceptability of one's partner is worth somewhere between one quarter and one-half of the points. Accounting for such basic criteria doesn't strike me as something we do in western societies, because expectations lie at the lower end of the spectrum. But if you're from a culture in which you the individual are lesser, and the family and society are greater, their influence on your choice and thinking will be different.
To my mind, contemplating the way we think about this background sociopathy makes it easier to see where we're going. Perhaps an arranged marriage really is the best way, despite my desire to pick and choose.
Hitchcockian photo from here [link]
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