Friday Fluffer - It's Just A Weird Situation All Round

Elle Macpherson pic credit.

Not that Elle would ever be a fluffer. Although who knows what floats her 155' boat?

For the last Friday Fluffer of 2011, I give you the BEST way yet discovered to create pet names. Actually, I'm serious. This works, if only for a laugh. SFW.





Bottoms Up Sexy Candy Pandas.

Friday Fluffer - Worst Lovers

Photo credit

We're all supremely fond of generalizations and unfair national slights. Which is why I've resurrected the results of a poll from a couple of years ago.

Fifteen thousand women were (allegedly) asked about the sexual skills of men organized by country. I guess the premise is that culture creates good or bad bonkers.



WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

And just for fun,

WORLD'S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada




Bottoms Up, Critics.

Earthy Women

Photo Credit.

Vegetables are good for you, but can the same be said for earthy women? And just what is an earthy woman anyway?

This is my definition, which will be unlike yours:

Earthy women smell like loam and horse dung, have grit under their fingernails and hair everywhere. They're back to nature types, tie-dyed and be-sandaled, keen on doulas and dope.

Earthy women aren't that easy to find any more. Some died of drug overdose in the seventies, others left for hippie communes and a life of kaftans and chanting, never to venture back into society. Some even had children, who, in that delightful way kids have of hacking off their parents, went on to become accountants and Christians.

A sense of humour is not normally associated with earthy women - don't confuse earthy jokes with earthiness; they're worlds apart. And absolutely don't make jokes at their expense, they'll rip your bloody leg off if you demean women in any way.

Sex with earthy girls is something I have done, but here's what grossed me out: earthy women have dirty feet. That's a great quality for a plant, maybe not for a close encounter.



Bottoms Up, Friends of the Earth!

Women on Top

The Masculine Movement's struggle runs up against the Pussy Ceiling in many fields. Men still represent a tiny minority of strippers, for example, or witness the inequality of sexual distribution in Public Relations jobs - 70% of practitioners there are female.

Matters are clear when it comes to college undergraduates in the United States too. The majority of students in post-secondary institutions are female - 57/43 - which reminds me it's high time to dust off my application for that Masters in Creative Writing and Beer. I like those odds. Perhaps that fact alone, the paucity of guys in higher education, speaks to the failure of the Masculine Movement. What we need is an inspirational figure, in the same way that the Feminists have Gloria Steinem or Germaine Greer.

Suggestions welcome.

Men are hopeless and becoming more so in many fields, but especially in sleeping their way to the top. It's a somewhat dated concept now, the idea that promotion or corporate advancement can be had by shagging your supervisor. More important is that with more women in authority, the opportunity for men to redress this imbalance improves every day.

Now, ma'am. May we talk about my raise?





Bottoms Up, Ladder Climbers!



Blackchickonabike supplied the pic. [link]

First Date Failure

A friend ragged me today via txt about my recent first date failure. She's the one who thinks I'm a narcissist. Stuff like this:

I can't believe she didn't fall for your charms.

Dripping sarcasm like a cheap hooker's pussy.

It made my day until I realized that only a narcissist would look favourably upon such a thinly veiled insult.

Here's another question I would like to ask a woman: [previously in the series]

Choose your favourite from among the following evenings out;

1. An orchestral performance.

2. A broadway-style musical production.

3. A modern music concert eg: The Beatles.

4. A night at an Irish pub listening to Gaelic music.




Flautist from here [link]