I Smell Sex and Candy

Anna Holtblad pic credit.

 I imagine that, if pressed to quickly - hurry, hurry! - come up with the name of a sexual position, most people would say "missionary". Okay, men might say "doggy". But both answers are a travesty, because female superior loses out to missionary and rear entry for no good reason.

"Female superior" lacks the snappy nomenclature of the other two, granted. But as an all-around winner, FS takes the Gold Orgasm every time. Thanks to the Dummies Guide people, you can compare missionary v fem sup here. Link.
 
(Who'd have thought: a Dummies Guide to Fucking?)

However. I have been told by women that female superior makes them feel vulnerable. Vulnerable? Well, sure. I have access to your lips, your breasts, your clitoris, and all the other wonderousness on your front side, which goes a long way to explaining why I like it so much.

Isn't vulnerability (read: unfettered access) the whole point? We're naked and my penis is inside your vagina. So I'd say we're both pretty vulnerable, especially to having a really good time.






Bottoms Up, Or Fronts Up, Whichever.

All The Power. Women Have All the Power.

 Elisabetta Gregoraci photo credit.

I know she was testing me, because no other explanation works.


The casually over-opened blouse, the lingering lean-over, these are the weapons of war. It's not a conventional war - in the parlance, this is an asymmetric battle.

Winning and losing are fuzzily defined. For instance, do I win or lose by giving into temptation, allowing my gaze to drop below her neck?  The upside is that I see some bra, definitely, and some portion of breast.
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If I steel myself and exhibit self-restraint by not checking her out, does she notice and figure that she needs more firepower next time? Or is she disgusted by failure to compliment her with a gaze at her goodies? 

Either way, I am outgunned and suffer from hopeless intelligence.


Bottoms Up, Wandering Eyes.

Making the Most of It

Kelly Brook photo credit.

Despite attraction being the elusive beast that it is, I'm not sure that making ones-self attractive is all that complicated.

Singlicious's thinking is a good example:

It's true those of us without a low waist-to-hip ratio generally understand that our attraction lies elsewhere (boobs, in my case), but I think that if we care about attracting men, we generally still dress in such a way as to approach that ideal as much as possible (not meaning skimpily, necessarily, but to create the illusion of a smaller waist, etc.).

We're all physically less than perfect, making 'perfect' a foolish standard to begin with. What does perfect even mean? What Vogue determines? But we are critical animals - more so of others than ourselves - which leads us to compare others to our imagined 'perfect' physical template.

Decades of observing female bodies leads me to this: Everyone has at least one great physical asset. It might be gorgeous lips, or delicately turned ankles, a graceful neck or, ahem, a great set of boobs. Acknowledging this is, ie: the woman doing so to herself, is good. Equally good is extending the realism to note the other stuff that MIGHT not be as beautifully formed. From that point, it is fairly simple to manipulate one's outward appearance to highlight the selling points and perhaps camouflage some others.

I'm assuming that our theoretical woman WANTS to either look attractive to men or actually attract them.

What I see in many women is a way of dressing or using makeup or styling their hair that demonstrates a lack of realistic stock-taking. (BTW, men are as bad or worse, but I'm not interested in them.) If you're a short woman with a big butt, capri pants will accentuate this fact. If you have big thighs, skinny jeans don't work, unless you want us to look at your thighs first. Crocs in public are always wrong. And so on.

Men are simple to the point that we can easily determine which woman is comfortable in her own skin, and who is trying too hard to be something else. Consider a hunting metaphor - the decoy duck looks okay from a distance, but don't try roasting it.




Bottoms Up, Decoys.

Wire Fraud

Whenever the FBI catches a big time criminal, my impression is that the charge they often use is "wire fraud". As a catch-all way to get an arrest, I'm sure it works a treat, allowing the G-Men time to pressure their suspect and troll through the product of their searches.

Of course why Mafia types are replacing real wire with string or rolled-up tin-foil is a mystery. Surely the big money is in running hookers or collecting garbage or providing garbage for people to shoot up.

Pssst. Wanna buy six reels of wire? It's almost as good as the genuine stuff.

Wire fraud got me to thinking about women with underwire bras, and the alleged internet/Oprah "fact" that 85% of women are wearing an incorrectly sized bra. Seems like a rather large oversight to me, by rather a large number of women.

Then I found this and forgot all about it.



How To Put On A Bra 101 - Celebrity bloopers here