No Time

Life is full of instances where time is all.

Take dating, for instance. If I were a woman dating a guy, I wouldn't date him for longer than eighteen months. Unless he committed to marry me, that is. Eighteen months is an important period, because it's about the longest a guy can go and not reveal his underlying personality. Addictions, fears, mental illnesses, unpleasant quirks and other relationship killers are extremely difficult to hide when you see that person consistently for that kind of period.

The commitment to marry, by the way, should be his to make, and yours to accept. The fact that he is willing to provide a ring and a date is but a start. When he does that, you then must consider carefully whether you're willing to accept all of his character traits. For the love of yourself and your possible children, say NO if he has anything you think you can correct.

Take note, ladies: you cannot. Once a guy's over twenty, change is only his to make.

Saying NO is oftentimes the best response if the guy falls short in any way from the best idea you have in mind. Making that choice is probably the most important decision any woman can make. Unfortunately, the notion that love will make things better, or that he'll change, or that you will be able to overlook stuff for a lifetime is widespread. And all the more wrong for being popular. My evidence? All the divorces, broken families and non-existent homes, where one parent, usually the father, is absent.

The expression "pushing on a piece of string" comes to mind as I write this. Like most people, I've had to learn all of the lessons about the wrong people the hard way. Without some kind of guide, it's impossible to do otherwise. The biggest take-away I can offer is that it's always better to be alone than with the wrong person, and that new people are always just around the corner...but often out of sight.

Bottoms Up, Tick-Tock.