Any horny young swab would do well to buy or otherwise get his hands on a boat.
This boat must be large and comfortable enough for at least an overnight stay, and preferably good for up to five nights. Thirty feet of length is a practical minimum. If you're up for it, a sailing yacht is best for a reason I'll explain shortly. However, a motor yacht will work equally well, and provide fewer hassles. (Which any boater will recognize as an obvious falsehood, because boats are constitutionally incompatible with perfectly operating equipment. There's always something that doesn't work, for oftentimes unfathomable reasons.)
Equip your water-craft with these essentials:
+ high thread-count bedding, layers thereof: comfort is everything.
+ enticing-smelling candles, potpourri, quality sprays: boats can stink.
+ pristine towels: luxury will speak for you.
+ champagne: natch.
+ tasty finger foods: smoked salmon, cream cheese, good crackers etc.
+ prepare at least one substantial hot meal per day: living on water = appetite.
+ wide selection of music: and don't forget something baroque :-)
+ extra pullovers, large shirts, thick socks: so you can keep your friend warm.
By now you've probably figured out that I'm creating a water-borne girl-trap. Trap isn't fair, because the idea isn't to trick your wife or girlfriend onto the boat; the point is to show them a luxury fun-time and - most importantly - get them away from the world.
Experience taught me that when a woman is away from her friends and family, she feels immune from the pressures of expectation. No-one will judge her. Consequently, she can be herself, let go, relax. What happens on the boat...only the fish and the waves know about.
And the answer to the question of why sail over steam: the skill of sailing is an excellent way to demonstrate your mastery of nature and machine. Plus the windy silence of a boat under canvas is a sound like no other.
Men, capitalize. The headache of boat ownership is well worth it.
Bottoms Up, Captain Cool.
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