Expectant Sex

Stuck in a painful silence on a first date? Introduce the topic of sex whilst pregnant and see what happens.

Okay, so a first date is too early, but by the fifth date I'd be using this as a critical question - obviously, especially if you're the woman. It seems that many men have an incomplete knowledge of the female reproductive tract. Surprise, eh?

In a way it's touching. Some guys apparently avoid vaginal sex for fear of somehow molesting, harming, defiling, aborting or otherwise embarrassing the in-utero sprog. The thought of their penis pistoning up and down inside the mother gives the dude less of a piston and more of a python. A soft python.

Coupla points here, men. Firstly, there is a pre-designed barrier between the baby and you. It's called the cervix. It has muscles strong enough to break your arm should you somehow end up in that position. Plus it is a VERY sensitive piece of your lady, as you would know when you're making sweet love and accidentally go too far. She'll let you know ALL about it.

Secondly, your lady also comes pre-designed with a place for you to have sex, known as the vaginal canal. It's otherwise known as the birth canal when used in the reverse direction, but don't dwell on that. Think of the sweet, warm, gooey love trench as a vestibule, where your junk is kept nicely separate from your pristine unborn child.

As an almost too obvious Thirdly: pregnant ladies are full of hormones that make them hornier than an Arizona cactus. Capitalize, men. For her sake.




Bottoms Up, Hot Mammas.