You Belong With Me?

She's cute and mighty popular and won't ever struggle to pay her electricity bill, but doesn't Taylor Swift remind you of Kathy Bates in Misery?

The song says it all: it's the story of a teenaged girl infatuated with a guy who bypassed her for a better model.

Taylor's the only one who gets his humour.
Taylor's the only one who understands him.
Taylor's the only one who really knows what he wants - Taylor.

Nothing stalkerish about that.

Is she planning to abduct this dude and chain him up at her place?
To save his life, will he confess that he hates his cheerleader girlfriend with the heels and short skirts?
Does the dude end up with broken legs after he tries to escape?

We understand that all relationships are fundamentally sado-masochist in nature - someone has the power, and the other likes it.

But some people just take it a little too far.





Bottoms Up, Country Musicians.

Bad Girls - To Emulate or Not?

Photo credit and Interview with Dr Carole.

Tuesday night I took this book on a tour of some local bars. A book might appear an odd choice of drinking companion, but this one is different - it's entitled "Bad Girls" and sports this alluring cover photo.

People were interested.

I also asked folks if they knew any of the bad girls listed in the index, and if they were experienced with them. Everyone had at least one story to tell.

So it's about how less adventurous, milquetoast girls can learn the man-eating ways of sexually confident, experienced women, right?

The full title is:

Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets. Emphasis mine.


Nope. Nothing of the sort. It is in fact a mirror image of that idea, describing in detail the sub-species of Bad Girls (The Gold-Digger, The Sex Siren,the Ball Buster, The Husband-Stealer etc) and how men can identify a weakness for - and avoid falling for - any of them.

Now that's useful information.

Important Point: The research behind the concepts presented is thorough and well written. Even more valuable is the way in which the author, Dr Carole Lieberman, carefully explained the vulnerabilities of certain men to the "attractions" of specific "bad girls". I found myself described in there, and the type of Bad Girl who fits my weakness.

Guess which. * LOL*

So, I have no hesitation recommending this book to anyone interested in understanding some of the possibilities as to why men choose certain women, AND why women end up clearly fitting some of the Bad Girl stereotypes.

That said, here are some random thoughts:

~ I wonder if this book stands out because Dr Lieberman is a psychiatrist, NOT a psychologist.

~ Whomever came up with the sub-title had not read one word of the book. It just doesn't fit.

~ I remain a little confused as for whom the book was written; men or women or both?

~ Pet Peeve: Editing and Layout. If the book is meant as a How-To, I think it needed a whole lot of creative input. As it is, page after page of standard text alternating with italicized real-life research excludes the kind of reader who might want to dip in-and-out. Fortunately, the writing style is clear, but it could work so much better. SO much better. It succeeds almost despite itself.

~ As an example of the poor production values, chapter commencement pages listed in the index do not match the actual pages in the book. Lazy and sloppy.


But these are all quibbles about publishing, not the material.

Worth your time.


Bad Girls. Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, By Dr Carole Lieberman.

ISBN 978-2-923865-12-6

Published by Cogito Media Group.




Bottoms Up, Good Girls.

wombat@kissnblog.com