Come tri with me

Do you have the bug yet? Just in case, I'll try to make it a little more approachable... Quite often I hear, "I can't run/bike/swim fast." Obviously they haven't seen me crawling along in the slow lane of the pool ;) I'm not out there to finish in the top 10, so I think of it as an "event" rather than a race. I'll do the best that I can, but I'm doing this for myself, to have fun, and not to race against the top women in my age group. All you have to do is cross the finish line--it doesn't matter if you do breast/side/back stroke during the swim, ride leasurely on a granny bike, and walk during the "run." Sign up with some friends that you can train with, and you'll have a blast. And if that's not enough of a reason, pick one event you like, find some friends that like the other events, and participate as a team! So really, why not tri?? :)

I didn't get too many questions, but I wanted to put together some general thoughts, in part to remind myself of everything as I pull things together for my tri tomorrow morning :) Feel free to ask more if you think of anything!

One of the first questions I had was, what do I wear? There was no way a bathing suit was going to give me any support on the run, if ya know what I mean ;) And wearing bike shorts on the swim--can we get any heavier in the bum? There are a few options here, the most cost-effective being to wear a sports bra under your swimsuit, and then pulling on shorts for the bike/run. You probably already have the "equipment" for this! There are also tri shorts (with less padding that dries quick) and tri suits that are specific for the sport. These can be expensive, but there are some discount sites online that offer last years' colors/models for less. If you're looking for a tri-specific top for the well-endowed, I'd recommend the Zoot Ultra Bra top--it's the only one I've found to give any support.

SWIM
This is definitely the toughest part for me, as I'm not that strong of a swimmer. Try to practice in open water if you can, so you can be prepared. If you panic (like I did the first time), tread water for a few seconds while your wave starts, collect yourself, and then swim. I tend to stay to the back and right of the group, to avoid flying hands and legs. If you're in for a fight, by all means go play in the center :) While training, I'd practice sighting (click here for a good description), and in the race- do this early and often to make sure you don't make the course longer for yourself! And if you hit a beer bottle during the swim, push it out of the way and just keep swimming ;) (This will probably only happen if you do a tri in Philly, and yes, it really happened!)

What to bring? goggles, earplugs, swim cap (will be provided for the race), towel, extra water bottle (fill this up at the race site and use to wash off feet before putting on socks/shoes). A small bottle of antifog can also be helpful for your goggles.


Tips: Swim as long as you can, don't try to run through the water as you get close to shore. Another thing I've heard is to change to breast stroke for the last few strokes of the swim, I think it's to get your ankles/legs ready to run.

BIKE
Try to check out the course ahead of time. Unfortunately I haven't been to the course I'm doing tomorrow, but I am going to drive through today. Due to the way I need to fuel my tummy, I need a little fuel during the event, and take it early in the bike to allow enough digestion time. I use a Bento Box to store some tissues and orange Clif shot blocks. If you're wearing a cycling jersey you can always store things in the pockets, I just find it easier to grab something in front of me.

What to bring? helmet, sunglasses, bike gloves, water bottles, fuel, socks, shoes, other apparel (singlet over bra top or shorts over bathing suit).


Tips: I put everything I don't want to forget in my helmet. They won't let you onto the course w/o a helmet, so my shades and gloves go into the helmet. I wouldn't mind forgetting the gloves, but I'd rather not be blinded by bugs :) Another tip to make the bike-run transition a bit easier is to increase your cadence at the end of the bike, that is, lower your gear to make it easier and quicken your pedal stroke.

RUN
Not too much to mention here, just don't forget your number! Most races require you to wear it on the front of you. This can be done using a race belt (often available at expos) or pinning it on to your shirt ahead of time with some safety pins. You might also have a hat or sunglasses if you use those as well.


Other things you might have in your bag: sunscreen (apply AFTER you get marked), body glide (for areas that might rub or be more sensitive), chapstick, spare hair ties, extra socks, safety pins, towel, (dry) clothes for after the race, and 2 garbage bags. Why the garbage bags? Use one to set up your transition area--it'll keep things dry and all in one spot (easier to see things if it's white). Keep the other one in your bag just in case the weather's unfortunate... you can lay this on top.

Well, I gotta get going, but I'll try to take some pictures of how things get set up so that I can share those, along with some more helpful links to get you started next week. In the mean time, get outside and have some fun :) After another week filled with rain, the sun's out today, and I'm hoping it holds out through tomorrow morning! See you back here for Melon Mondays ;)

I am Potent

Speaking of douchebags, Ted Turner's a working example of late twentieth century Alpha man. He's a yo-yo, but he's an Alpha yo-yo which means he gets to do whatever he wants.

One achievement that launched Turner toward Alphadom is his accumulation of a truckload of money. Money is the modern, trousered, way of saying "I'm potent."

Actually, it's the modern, trousered, way of saying "I have a middling-sized and underperforming penis, but women don't care because I have lots of dosh."

Turner's an interesting study of Alphadom because he thinks he can change the world. True to his oddness, he chose the most inefficient way of using his money to do so, by giving $1,000,000,000.00 (that's one billion dollars) to the United Nations. If a more idiotic way of doing good with one's fortune exists, I would like to hear about it. That money all went to pay for third-world kleptocratic thugs' rentals of Upper East Side co-ops and high-class hookers.

Turner is an Alpha, but he's clearly smoking something god-awful that's affecting his brain.

More characteristic of contemporary Alpha men is marriage to a trophy wife. Hanoi Jane Fonda was Turner's third wife. She could be the definition of "trophy" for men of his age and ideology. Guaranteed, Turner still thinks of Fonda as "Barbarella" (pictured) and guaranteed she reprised the role in the marital bedroom. And on the jet. And on the yacht. No wonder she found Christianity - it was the only way to limit Turner's incessant dress-up requests. Pity they divorced over it.

Turner might be the most charming and good-hearted man in the solar system, but I doubt it. He is ostensibly at the top of our society's food chain, yet he is an example to no-one, a model for nothing.

Houston Chronicles: The Food Tour

What comes to mind when someone mentions Houston? Don't think about it. Respond emotionally. Probably you said something that included "Texas, oil, Gulf Coast hurricanes, cowboys, barbecue, and Tex-Mex". Maybe you also remembered that Houston is home to an important complex of medical centers and that NASA's Johnson Space Center is nearby.

Now add really good food to that list.

Houston has come of age. Serving up plenty of hamburgers, barbecue, enchiladas, and carnitas, Houston's food scene stays connected with its Western traditions. But the food landscape now includes a range of restaurants serving the cuisines of Europe, the Middle East and Asia. There are plenty of upscale restaurants and many affordable, neighborhood joints.

On a recent trip to Houston I took an eating tour of the town and I have some recommendations to pass along.

If you have money to splurge, be sure you stop at Voice (Hotel Icon, 220 Main, Houston, Texas 77002; 832/667-4470). Opened just last fall, it was immediately crowned best new restaurant by Texas Monthly.

Chef Michael Kramer demonstrates his love of farmers' markets produce and local purveyors in a menu he describes as "Modern American". The menu changes frequently, the better to highlight what's fresh and seasonal. Besides the a la carte regular menu, he offers a nightly tasting.

For our tasting we had several of what are already regarded as "classics" at the restaurant. A demitasse cup of richly flavored Mushroom Soup "Cappucino" topped with truffle foam and porcini powder. In his Patchwork of Baby Beets--a witty riff on the paintings of Joan Miro-- he thinly slices and quarters half a dozen beet varieties and pairs them with locally made Chessy Girl goat cheese and what the chef calls a beet caramel reduction of beet juice and seasoned balsamic vinegar.

Of the appetizer courses, the Potato Gnocchi was the perfect comfort food, the soft pillows--and although it's a cliche to describe gnocchi "pillows" that's exactly what these were, light, oblong, airy pillows--floated in a chanterelle-prosciutto broth, sharing the bottom of the sculpted bowl with perfectly cooked Brussels sprouts.

The entrees included North Carolina Black Sea Bass with braised artichokes and hedgehog mushrooms. We also had the Honey Lacquered Duck Breast with competing sweet (pear mostarda) and peppery (black pepper gastrique) sauces. The last entree was Chef Kramer's signature dish, a Herb Marinated Rack of Lamb. The meat was deliciously tender, having been finished, sous vide, in a garlic and thyme marinade.

Desserts favored the chocoholic with white and dark chocolate in many forms: warm chocolate cake, hand made caramel and raspberry chocolates, white chocolate panna cotta. Just to show that his enthusiasm for chocolate didn't limit his imagination, Chef Kramer included a refreshing quenelle of vanilla ice cream sprinkled with crunchy graham cracker shavings and a scoop of raspberry sorbet topped with fresh, plump raspberries.

Happily Houston boasts a well-developed Vietnamese food scene, the result of the influx of Vietnamese refuges--the "boat people"--in the mid-1970s. One such place is a standout: the family-run, very affordable Huynh Restaurant (912 St. Emanuel, Houston, Texas 77003; 713/224-8694) in the revitalized Eado (East of Downtown).

With her mother, Van Bui, and brother, Binh Dang, in the kitchen, and her younger sister Cindy serving out front, Anny Dang recently re-opened the restaurant in the new location. What's on the menu is traditional Vietnamese home-cooking, the food that mom Van Bui made her family when they lived in Quang Ngai two hours south of Da Nang.

With entrees averaging $6.00-7.00, come with friends so you can sample the large menu. All the familiar Vietnamese dishes are available at Huynh: spring rolls (Cha Gio Viet Nam, Goi Cuon, and Goi Cuon Thit Nuong), beef noodle soup (Pho Dac Biet), chicken noodle soup (Pho Ga), bbq pork on rice (Com Chien Xa Xiu), chargrilled shrimp or chicken on cold vermicelli noodles with julienned vegetables (Bun Tom Nuong or Ga), and grilled pork chops on rice (Com Tam Thit Nuong Bi Cha). They are all delicious because the freshest ingredients are used and you can tell a caring hand has prepared the food.

Look deeper into the menu and you'll find dishes a mother feeds her special child. Chargrilled pork (Banh Uot Thit Nuong) wrapped in soft rice noodles. The chewy wrapper contrasts with the crispy sweet pork inside. Duck (Goi Vit) mixed with shreds of fresh vegetables and herbs, topped with crispy, fried onion rings. A spicy dish (Xao Xa Ot) that can be made with tofu, shrimp, or chicken; we had the shrimp, stir-fried with a sauce of hot chili paste and lemon grass. And half a fried chicken wittily called the Phoenix (Com Phuong Hoang), because it's cooked twice--first roasted, then fried--served with a mound of steamed rice and a side of Korean kimchi and--most amazingly--topped with a farm fresh sunny side up fried egg. When the egg is cut open, the yolk runs down the chicken and onto the rice.

As we were driving out of town, we stopped to pick up some treats for the road at Crave (1151-06 Uptown Park Boulevard, Houston, Texas 77056; 713/622-7283), an upscale cupcake store tucked into the Uptown Park Mall just off Highway 610. Ever since the Magnolia Bakery in New York popularized cupcakes with inventive flavors and adult prices ($3.25), cupcakes have had a resurgence across the country.

Crave is the latest example of this excellent trend where traditional recipes are improved by using high quality ingredients, like 85% butterfat butter, imported French sprinkles, and fresh fruit.

Made fresh daily and avoiding preservatives and artificial flavors, Crave's cupcakes emphasize natural flavor over sugary sweetness.

The Hummingbird has a classic Southern mix of pineapple, pecans, and bananas with a cream cheese frosting. Fresh strawberries are added to the frosting in the Strawberry cupcake, which probably accounts for it being a best seller. There's even a cupcake riff on the Hostess Ding Dong. The Chocolate and Creme cupcake is made with imported chocolate, filled with marshmallow cream, and topped with dark chocolate ganache. This is definitely not the Ding Dong of your grammar school days.

When I visited Houston several years ago to tour the Johnson Space Center, I thoroughly enjoyed myself because I am a huge fan of the space program. In those days the most you could hope for by way of a meal was good barbecue and authentic Mexican food. That's still true, but now Houston has a whole lot more to offer the hungry traveler.

They date horses don't they?

Hay and horse-hair intoxicate some women like little else. It's an addiction that begins early in life, and often remains uncured.

Hello. My name is Charlotte, and I'm an equine addict.

Hello Charlotte.

(And from the back of the room, a muted whinny.)

It's possible to ignore the sexual connotation of a thousand pounds of semi-wild muscled horseflesh between young female thighs, but I shan't. On display for all to see is the pleasure women gain from controlling a beast ten times her weight using nothing but a bit, a bridle, reins, her heels, a crop and of course those thighs. Oh, and of course a little whispered encouragement in the nag's ear.

Sounds like sex to me. Not everyday sex I guess, because regular sex doesn't often entail jumping over planks of wood, but who am I to deny chicks in jodhpurs their fantasies?

You can smell this coming, I know, but dating a horsewoman is a losing proposition. The only exception is if you are either a cowboy, or Ted Turner - and Turner's a douche. For the rest of us, the horse is way too much competition. If you somehow find yourself married to a horsewoman - against all my advice - you end up a pauper paying for this creature to give your wife happiness, satisfaction, and orgasms. Plus she will wash and brush it down after a good session.

When was the last time a chick did that for you?

Alpha Male-doom

If Alpha males are defined as the leaders, where does that leave the rest of us?

Alphadom in primates and humans is about having the most opportunities at reproduction for yourself, and minimizing those of all other males. There is evidence from the chimpanzee world that Alphas are less aggressive in keeping related males away from the babes than they are with unrelated competitors. That tells us it's all about the genetics, passing along as much of your DNA as possible, as well as the very similar DNA of your brothers and cousins.

In short, Alphas are Alphas because they want, and get, more babies.

In our world matters are more subtle. The reason we aren't like the chimps is because we have complex language. That has, in turn (or coincidentally, depending upon who you read) allowed us to stop being foragers and settle in increasingly abstract communities, starting with multiple family groups, and ending with Calcutta.

Important point: the reason we can live in cities without the Alphas taking us back to the law of the jungle is because language allows males to work together for the good of the society. One way of imagining this is to think of chimps as having a really steep sex-power gradient between the most powerful Alpha and the lowliest male. In human co-operative societies, that gradient is significantly flattened; the lowest male still has a decent shot at reproduction, and won't likely be cock-blocked by the local Alpha.

So in western societies in particular, we're all Alphas now if you define your 'world' closely enough. In a family of man, woman, and immature children, the identity of the Alpha male is obvious. But how useful is it for this regular guy to think and behave like the biologically defined Alpha?

I contend it's time for a new paradigm, a new way for guys to be Alpha-ish without the conflict and aggression of the animal Alpha that lives in our DNA. I think it can be done.

Another 30 Minute Meal: Ginger-Soy Black Cod

Black cod cooked in a ginger-soy poaching liquid is a deceptively simple dish that cooks up quickly and has deeply satisfying flavors. Popularized by the Iron Chef, Masaharu Morimoto, his complicated recipe can be simplified with excellent results.

The fish can be served with steamed rice and simply braised or sauteed vegetables like spinach with garlic and shiitake mushrooms.

Ginger-Soy Poached Black Cod

The ginger-soy poaching liquid can be reused several times.

After the fish has been cooked and all solids removed, the liquid can be kept in the freezer in an air-tight container for several months.

When you want a quick meal, defrost the poaching liquid, simmer, add the black cod pieces, cover, and you'll have a meal on the table in 10 minutes.

Yield 4 servings

Time 30 minutes

Ingredients

2 pounds black cod fillets, washed, pat dried
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 1/2 cups soy sauce
1/4 cup mirin
2 cups sake
2" piece of ginger, peeled, julienned

Method

Carefully inspect the fillets for bones. There will probably be a row in the middle of the fillet.

Using a sharp knife, slice along the bones and remove in a long strip. Don't throw out the strip because it can be marinated in olive oil, sea salt, and pepper and roasted in the oven or grilled on a bbq. Have the bones as a cook's treat.

Cut the fillets into rectangles 1 1/2" x 2" for easier handling.

In an uncovered large pan or dutch oven, create the poaching liquid by simmering together the sugar, soy sauce, mirin, sake, and ginger for 10 minutes. Add the black cod pieces, cover, and simmer 5 minutes.

Remove the cod with a slotted spoon and set aside. Reserve 2 cups of the poaching liquid, straining and pouring the remainder into a sealed container and freeze.

Return the cod and 2 cups of poaching liquid to the pan, reduce and thicken over high heat, spooning the thickening sauce over the cod, about 5 minutes.

Serve immediately with steamed rice or sauteed garlic spinach with shiitake mushrooms.

Melon Mondays II

Monday, monday... :) In case you missed the first post, I'm taking the next few Mondays to showcase the recipes I made for a melon-themed dinner I shared with some friends recently. I have another starter/first course-type dish tonight, Iced Cantaloupe Soup w/Jalapeno & Basil. This recipe comes from The Splended Table's How to Eat Supper, and can be found on Serious Eats here.


The jalapenos (or in my case some random red chili) and basil were key components to the soup, so don't leave those out! It was absolutely gorgeous, but I must say I think this was my least favorite recipe of the night. It was ok, but only in small amounts--maybe it was too sweet? I might have been the only one who felt this way, as everyone else slurped it down ;)