Showing posts with label mermaids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mermaids. Show all posts
Sunday, July 8, 2012
The Mermaid Conundrum
Long sea-borne men of yore yearned for the sight of women so much that their imaginations went nuts. The power of desire for anything feminine - together with the isolation - sent their minds on weird pathways, including morphing fish into females. Such is the power you have over us. No wonder that when explorers found themselves in places like Tahiti, with its ripely available beauties, they had to trick their crews into leaving.
The attraction of the half-fish, half woman is two-fold:
1. She cannot run away when caught.
2. She is, for the most part, bare-breasted (or close enough).
The sub-text is that the mermaid is both attainable and detainable, fitting right into the fantasy template - after all, what use is there dreaming of something uncatchable?
(We need to think like a horny sailor stuck on a stinky sailboat during a years-long voyage here to capture the zeitgeist.)
All-in-all, mermaids are women, perfected. They're available mid-ocean if one uses the right bait, they won't escape if lured shipboard and they're sexually out there. Regarding the matter of below-the-waist details, I shall refrain from making tasteless banter about whether they de-scale. Some waters are best left uncharted.
It occurs to me that land-only ladies share at least one mermaid attraction, the high-heeled shoe. Heels hinder you running away just as a lower-half flipper slows the mermaid down. We like a little chase, but want the odds stacked on our side.
Bottoms Up, Stilletos.
Labels:
attraction,
breasts,
female form,
male brain,
mermaids,
shoes
Monday, August 2, 2010
Whales Gush Too
Before the BP soiled fair Looosiana's shores it was the big mammals who screwed up the environment. When our brave lads from Nantucket went in search of lamp-oil, it fell upon whales to cough it up.
Sperm whales weren't, as you might imagine, chock full of human reproductive material, but the idea's admittedly amusing. Especially as Spermy's valuable cargo (the Victorian-era equivalent of a gigunda oil reservoir) was all in his head. Junk in the cranium for you urban types.
Many a long evening was lit by the light of smoky whale parts. Which might explain the Victorian attitude to sex.
Not only did our mammalian brothers and sisters die horrid painful deaths for their oil, various bits and pieces of them were used to stiffen corsets. In a saying common in whaling towns, every part of the whale was used...except the blowhole.
Corsets mystify only those who like everything natural about their woman. Cinching in a lady's waist to half its normal size gives all normal men a boner worthy of a whale. Why this is so is a matter of ongoing and very slow research, conducted mostly by convincing women to wear everything in their lingerie drawer, and then slowly removing it all with one's teeth.
Bottoms Up, Gushers!
Pic of Victorian Loverlies from here [link]
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