Nails

Here's a small secret of mine: I judge women inordinately on their nails.Yes, it's silly, but there you have it. I like a nicely turned finger-tip.

For the expert out there, I note four kinds of nails.

~ well maintained, clipped nails, often seen on ladies who work with their hands (eg: the veterinary technician I saw this morning. Mmmmmm.)

~ chewed-up nails, down to the quick, ratty edges, dry, unkempt.

~ falsy acrylics, stuck-on, often garishly decorated, or just MIA.

~ nicely manicured real nails, either natural or glossed.

My preference is, in order, 4, then 1. The other two aren't so hot for me.

What's this all about, this psychotic pickiness?

For a start, I find the nicely kept nail very sexy. That part you have surely guessed. Intuitively, I think it's a tell about how she tends to other parts of herself. If she's polished (literally!) in that department, her grooming elsewhere will reflect that standard.

Similarly, it shows she has the patience to maintain the natural nail. One thing I am aware of is how much time it takes to keep two handfuls of natural nails looking even and beautiful. Keyboards chew them up at a rate. There's a fastidious side to that I also like. Mindfulness is another word that springs to my mind.

Clearly, I'm taking the lady's nails and extrapolating - not necessarily fairly - their condition to the rest of her grooming AND her mindset. Yes, I understand just how crazy that sounds, and how inaccurate it might be. Still and all, that's the way it is.

Now, let's look at your palms, and I'll tell  your future. Mind if I check out your nails while I'm here?



Bottoms Up, Manicured Goddesses.

Pull Yourself to Bits

How refreshing to see male masturbation out in the open. Not completely out in the open, you understand, but on the teev. And not for reals, more acted out than naturalistic. From the waist up. Actually, it was more a hint than anything else. Still, for an act so popular and so little discussed it was a decent start.

Saturday night Mr Nights and I were watching Californication, Season One. I don't watch television, indeed don't even own one, so it was a treat to see so many naked women, gorgeous breasts and rampant shagging on the box. Where has this show been hiding? It's like twenty-seven minutes of guy fantasy/Penthouse letters acted by beautiful and sometimes teenaged women.

Episode Two, I think it was, showed a secondary character (a man) discovering naughty photographs of his sexetary on the internet. He does what every bloke with a pulse would do, to wit: grab his schlong and manipulate it to erection and orgasm. We don't see any of this, of course. The shot (camera shot) is of him behind a desk, head and torso only. Masturbation is implied.


Sidebar: Odd, to my mind, that all kinds of m/f congress is shown in this show, but the penis is evidently not yet ready for prime-time. Double standard, no? End sidebar.


My quibble about this male jerk-off scene is that it looked too much like the Meg Ryan orgasm scene from When Harry met Sally. Frankly, I thought her rendition was a little actorly, but Evan Handler's rendition of the male O in Californication was quite over the top. For a start he was too vocal. Masturbating men will tell you that it's all about what's going on in your brain, and the link between the physical manipulation and one's imagination. It's a silent, internal thing. Also, he lasted only about fifteen seconds, which is totally not the point. The idea of wanking is to prolong those endorphin-fuelled feelings for as long as possible; orgasm is just the icing on the cake.

Maybe a grunt or two at the crowning glory stage is normal, but all that gasping for breathe and "Oh God" shit is pure chick. (Although when one is having sex with a woman, it's natural to up the verbal communication factor. Natural and automatic, I submit.)

Which gives me an idea. I wonder if it wouldn't be smart for couples, early on in the relationship, to watch each other get themselves off. In fact, I'd go further and say the earlier, the better. It would save a lot of time finding out what the other person likes. First date masturbating? That might be taking it too far, but at least it's creative.



Bottoms Up, Self-Pleasurers!



Happy Rachael Ray from here [link]