Why Men Love Women

Lost in the tumble dryer of life is the number one reason men love women: you are different from us.

You: are the pink thong we found amongst our load of whites.

You: are the bird of paradise we discovered bunking in with our chickens.

You: represent the bouillabaissein a world of canned soup. 

YOU: are the blue-cheese stuffed olive that magically appeared in our whisky.


We recognize parts of ourselves in you. There's the day-to-day stuff, like breathing, eating, sleeping, cutting your toe-nails. They're all clearly recognizable.

Then there are the bits and pieces that we understand, but don't do ourselves: the endless fussing with hair, the individual driving style, preoccupations with inconsequential celebrities, capri pants. And of course there's the shit we simply sit back and watch in amazement: anything reproductive up to and including childbirth; catfights; multi-tasking and the complete mystery/wonderment that is the false eyelash.

Important to understand here is the subtlety of these things. It's the way you approach life that fascinates us. Your emPHASis is all different; up when ours is down; inside when ours is out; blended when ours is on the rocks. Fascination stems from the slight eccentricity of a view of the universe 15 degrees removed. And by eccentricity, I mean adorable quirk.

So if anyone tells you that the way to a better world is to be more like a man, think about this beautiful harmony we have with each other, and wonder why anyone would want it different.





Bottoms Up, make-up appliers in traffic.