Two qualities I observe in my own brain:
1. It looks for patterns of behaviour (in women I date) that might or might not exist.
2. Its imagination leaps to long-term possibilities with women far beyond reality.
They're both manifestations of an inaccurate Date Horizon. The Date Horizon (did I just coin this?) is the natural expectation of what's reasonable from the other person given the current state of the liaison. For instance:
* After a first date, the Date Horizon can really only extend to the possibility of a second.
* After the first sex, the Date Horizon probably includes some number of future sessions. (NOTE: Or none.)
* Once the Fidelity Agreement's in place, the Date Horizon extends out by a few months.
* Marriage takes the Date Horizon at least to the natural horizon.
I imagine that we all get ahead of ourselves when we start out with someone new. Sadly, it's unrealistic and I believe ultimately destructive when the other person fails to live up to our dream (the hide!) or we actually start living in a way that's not reality-based.
So. Note to self: One step at a time. Take each date as it comes. Understand not everyone will work out. Keep a tight rein on the imagination. Watch how nice it is when the Date Horizon really does move beyond tomorrow.
Bottoms Up, Imagineers.
No comments:
Post a Comment