I shall state for the record that I'm opposed to squeezable mayonnaise. Squeeze-bottle mayo poses two dilemmas, linked like yin and yang:
A. It's squeezable, making it too easy to dispense and over-dispense, and
B. It's mayonnaise, which has the worst nutrition/devil-food ratio of any substance known to man.
Mayo was invented by people who used it like cocaine (by the gram), but in glorious fashion, we've figured to offer it like lube in a Thai whorehouse.
Unless you are one of those aforementioned whores doing ten tricks a day (expending a gazillion calories) mayo should be treated like a schedule two drug. I'm looking for such a warning on my bottle of mayo right now.
So if one has a weight target to maintain or attain, one should choose one's target foods carefully. I figure it's the same with one's sex diet. If we're after someone for body-slamming only, we need to know that we're partaking of that particular food group. If we're after someone to be a public partner, that's another group of people, and so on. Matching motives is the goal.
For every person who owns up to being in a particular relationship frame of mind, there's another who actually has different motives. Lots of people say they're after only a hook-up, but like plans for war this attitude rarely survives first contact. Someone squeezes the mayo, and uh-oh; things move beyond the simply physical.
What I'm trying to say is that to know one's own mind will save much heartache. The most frustrating and deceptive person you'll ever meet looks back at you from the mirror every day. A good sit-down chat with them will get you closer to clarity of motive.
Bottoms Up, Tartare Sauces.
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