You know you've been single too long when:
a.) You start criticising Minka Kelly's choice of shoes instead of contemplating her vagina.
b.) You imagine the check-out chick is your "date" and you are the John.
c.) Grilled cheese on toast and a pickle seems a reasonable first dinner date.
d.) Daydreams turn from sexy Bahamas weekends to Cops marathons.
e.) Smokers start to look (and smell) attractive.
f.) When someone says "stocking" you think of Christmas.
g.)You read the long-term care insurance pamphlets in doctors' waiting rooms.
Bottoms Up, Single Slices.
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