Wow! Subtle.

Desperation comes in many forms, none so blind as the person who hangs on to another person beyond the life of their relationship - no matter how short.

Men and women can both overlook critical, possibly damaging qualities and behaviours in their sig others, but there is a timing difference, at least in my experience.

Women overlook rottenness in a man early in the relationship, almost before it's begun.

Men will overlook exactly the same kind of rottenness in a woman late in a relationship, when it's nearly done.

Of course, of course, this is a generalization, and either sex can fit into either category, or neither. But the mechanism is clear to me: when a woman is of a mind to have a man in her life, she'll squeeze him into her criteria with a shoe-horn and bacon grease. When a man has been given the time to discover a woman is (ostensibly) the one for him, he'll hold onto her, even after everyone else can see they're not a match.

The fundamental difference here is that women, in general, feel that the incompatibilities - or sheer unacceptabilities - of a man she wants are within her ability to change. She can smooth out any rough edges, no matter how ingrained. Guys tend to figure that the (bad) stuff that makes them draw a quick breathe will spread, and so are best avoided. Yes, we'll still have sex if it's available, but a commitment...perhaps not.

However, if we do make a commitment over a period of time, we'll stick with it, maybe because we're afraid of being demonstrably wrong. That's our ego talking, a voice we need to ignore way more often.



Bottoms Up, Humans.

Unidentified Flying Objects and Pianofortes

Unfortunately, all the YooEffOh enthusiasts are wrong. No way would aliens smart enough to fly here actually make the trip, and here's why: FM radio. All those thousands of radio stations are blasting a wall of sound into space, a kind of Force Field of FM. NEW 105, ROCK94.4, YOURBESTOFTHEEIGHTIES 101.5 have been sending an electromagnetic shock wave into the rest of the universe for decades.



If we can barely stand it, what do you think the Little Green Women in flying saucers will think?



One horrific consequence of spending a lot of time driving is exposure to the idiocy of FM music stations. Hells Teeth, listening should come with a Government Health Warning, like cigarettes:



Caution: More than three hours per week exposure to FM music stations will cause your brain to mushify and leak out of your ears.



In my considered analysis, a big part of the problem is that the music on FM is all AT ONE VOLUME - LOUD. The reason is that most people are listening, like me, in the car, with all the associated noise competition. Radio stations know this. Then the ads play, and they're at VOLUME 11 so the message gets through. Ah, no. I don't want to lease a new Chevy Malibu at an all-time low price, thank-you. For the fifty-seventh time.



So one naturally hungers for music more in tune with one's soul. Music is meant to speak to the emotions, and emotion implies ups and downs - in strictly musical terms, piano through forte, soft through loud. Classical music (by which I mean everything from Baroque through mid-century Big-Bands) fits the bill. The nuance of volume changes opens a door to somewhere in our heads that standard FM music cannot.



If I were an alien, I'd be repulsed by mono-volume music and intrigued by vari-volume music. Life (and relationships) can't be lived at full-throttle all the time, so finding a tune (or a person) fitting the spectrum of emotions that fit mine is the thing.







Bottoms Up, Turn it up to Eleveners.

Friday Fluffer - Kiss the Wombat

Today's Fluffer is for you nature lovers.






Bottoms Up, Marsupials!





Sweet kiss from here. [link]

I am not associated with Kiss the Wombat in any way. Who owns that site is a mystery to me, buy it's incumbent upon me to promote something so worthy.

Friday Fluffer - Instruments of Pleasure

The fight to the bottom afflicts businesses everywhere.

Walmart fights suppliers for a one cent advantage.

Airlines fight customers by charging for everything more than the seat.

Fast food joints sell us ever more food and ever less nutrition.

There is one business that aims for quality and satisfaction by selling us the best - at least in the line it calls 'Instruments of Pleasure'.

It is with great pleasure that I give you Kiki de Montparnasse.

Beautiful things for beautiful times. Quality. Probably NSFW, but only mildly. [link]





Bottoms Up, Pleasure Seekers!


Pic from here [link]

Cupcakes

I went on a sixth date last night. I wasn't my sixth date, you understand, which sounds like eating a cupcake without the frosting, but a sixth date it was. In fact the daters were strangers to me, and I didn't even know we were all on the date together until after the first bottle of wine. Which is exactly how these things should go.

Date six is pretty close to the perfect time to introduce the rest of the world to a relationship. At that point there's enough understanding and empathy for the couple to weather the inevitable new stuff that crops up about each other. Questioners and cynics like me are the worst people to have around, because directness has unintended consequences.

Despite that, I'm wondering if it might be the smart way to go about easing a new relationship into the universe - first introduce it to strangers rather than friends or family. Strangers don't know exes, history or quirks, which leaves them only with observation and perspective. What better way to close a few small gaps between newbies than an evening chatting with a dispassionate but well-disposed unknown? Perhaps I can turn this into a business - a kind of third wheel dater to check if you're both ready for the big leagues of Thanksgiving or your mother's birthday party.

I am relieved to say that that the (very cool and entirely charming) couple looked quite on track for a seventh date when I excused myself. In fact, I'd say they looked like they'd both discovered a limitless supply of cupcakes with frosting in (on?) each other.



Bottoms Up, Cupcakes!


Cupcake with cupcakes from here [link]

Novelty Slut

Are you a novelty slut?

In case you're unsure, this is how you'll know.

-> you think conventional wisdom is something your dentist deals with.

-> you understand airport fiction isn't a type of book, it's the security people.

-> reading a newspaper is for between mouthfuls of fish.

-> 'professional sport' is a joke without fencing.

-> you think even fencing is rigged.

-> hardback books are back because Kindle is already so last Christmas.

-> on a date, you've said: "Okay, I'm bored now."

-> travel to China beckons, but your heart lies in Prague.

-> you end up going to Montana.

-> the idea of meeting someone special sounds tedious.

-> friends can last forever, but

-> lovers should make you want to come again.

To her place or his, that is.






Pic from here. [link]

Reid Speed might be a Novelty Slut. [link]

Hat tip to Pink Squirrel for the idea.